We’ve all been angry on occasion. Some of us more than others but we all know the feeling of rage when someone cuts us off on the highway or insults us in some way. The red mist that swoops over us can take over and make us do and say things we would never say normally.
We get angry when:
– We feel disrespected
– We lose something
– We want something but can’t have it
– And many more reasons that we come up with
We all know anger is unhealthy, and we all know that if we choose to, we never have to be angry at all. When any of those anger causing events happen, it is our decision how we act. It is the voice that is in our head after this event that causes the anger and the emotions that stream from it.
When we’re angry, our body prepares us for battle. It acts as if we are in a fight for our life and gives us the energy for combat. But in fact, we are not in any danger but we still feel like we have been attacked. It pumps us with adrenaline and we use it to fight and get angry. This is not healthy and very draining.
The inner monologue that goes on in someone’s head just before they get angry is the voice that tells them why they should be getting angry. It is like the friend you had in high school who was always making trouble and trying to start fights between people. It gives you all the reasons you should fight, and the consequences of what might happen if you don’t. So obviously, you have no option but to get angry right? Wrong.
The secret to getting rid of anger is simple. All you have to do is:
– Stop listening to that voice
– Realise that anger doesn’t solve anything and venting makes things worst
– Give yourself a break and take some time before reacting. The best remedy to anger is time
All we have to do is to interrupt that inner monologue. Not listen to it. That’s why they tell you to count to ten (or a hundred depending on the intensity) when you get angry because when you’re concentrating on counting, you can’t be listening to any negative thoughts.
By shutting this off, we give ourselves a break and realise that in fact, no one can do anything. Nothing is that serious to jeaperdise your health, and if it is, fix the problem rationally and you’ll never have to deal with it again. And sooner or later, that friend who’s always egging you on to start a fight will give up and leave, and you’ll find that inner peace. Anger will become a thing of the past.
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it’
Marcus Aurelius
