Teenage is a very difficult period for both teenagers as well as their parents. If you are having trouble with your unruly teenager, follow these guidelines to deal with the issues.
Understand the reason behind such behavior
The first thing to do is to try and identify why your teenage son or daughter is behaving in such a disorderly fashion. Pay close attention to his/her behavior and try to notice if there is any drastic changes in his/her daily habits. Many a times, sudden lifestyle or family changes can cause teenagers to turn rebellious and uncontrollable. If you have recently moved to a new home, or you teenager has made new friends, or if there are issues between you and your spouse; your teenager may start showing unruly behavior as a means to cope up with the change. However, putting all the blame on the child is also not right. Take a look at your own parenting methods. Maybe it was your lenient ways that turned your child in to an unruly teenager. Accepting this and altering your parenting style can also help solve the problem.
Communicate and spend quality time with your teenager
Most teenagers behave disobediently or disruptively only to get the attention of their busy parents. They might feel insecured if you are not spending much time with them. All, kids need love and attention from their parents. You will find that spending some quality time with your teenager will improve his/her behavior. Playing a sport together, going for a walk, going shopping together, etc are activities that help you bond better with your kid and get rid of any insecurities. You donât even need to plan any activities, if you are pressed for time. Letting them share what they did at school that day while you make dinner, taking them out with you for running errands, sitting at the dinner table together are all small yet significant things from teenagersâ point of view to let them know that you love them and care for them.
Set clear boundaries and rules
Unruly behavior in teen years can also be because of bad company. Peer pressure sometimes can make teenagers behave in a peculiar fashion. Try to talk to them and make them understand that it is not correct to succumb to such pressures and that they should be able to identify right and wrong. Set boundaries and rules for your teenager and stick to them. Be firm with your teenager and punish him/her on breaking any rules set by you. The kind of punishment to set for your teenager is something that you will have to decide on your own. Grounding the teenager works in some cases, while for others a cut in their monthly allowance does the trick. However, make sure that the punishment is not very harsh or else you might get a completely unexpected and opposite reaction from your child.
Reward good behavior
Just as punishment is necessary to prevent and stop unruly behavior, giving them rewards for good behavior is equally important. Rewarding the teens not only motivates them to continue with their good behavior but also develops trust and makes them want to work harder to receive your love and appreciation. The kind of reward you decide to give to your child for good behavior depends, on your teenagerâs likes and dislikes. While for some teenagers, a trip to the shopping mall can be a great reward (especially teenage girls), for others (teenage boys) nothing could be better than a new bike or a basketball.
Seek professional help
Unfortunately, even if spending time with your teenager, giving punishments and rewards do not help and the unruly behavior continues or even increases, it is time to seek professional help. As a first step, you can consult the school counselor who might have a better idea about why your teenager has suddenly become disruptive and uncontrollable, maybe because of some issue at school. If that does not work, you can take your teenager to a licensed therapist. This, however, can be a little difficult if you teenager refuses to see a âshrinkâ. In that case you can ask one of your family members or a friend who is close to your teenager to talk and find out the reason behind the rowdiness. Your teenager might find it easier to confide in an outside person than his/her own parents. Once you know the cause of the unruly behavior, it will become much easier to deal with and solve the problem.
