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Is it love, or did you just fall for a limerence

love or did you just fall for a limerence

It is such a nice feeling to be in love with someone. To follow your crush, to wait eagerly just to get a glance of them, or just to hear a single word from them, are all nice and lovely feelings that show you are in love with someone. However, there is also one dark form of this love, limerence.

It is dangerous because a person reaches the insane level of obsessive behavior. Psychologists describe this limerence to be a state in which a person feels excessively drawn towards another person whom they call L.O. (the limerent object). A person feels an intense romantic desire but they do not describe that desire as love, and when someone asks them, they say that they have a crush.

In other words, limerence is a complex and a dangerous feeling that the person himself cannot explain. A person who feels this intense desire towards the L.O. goes through intense mood swings that vary from feelings of immense pleasure, frustration, and pain. The person who reaches the pinnacle of limerence gets obsessed with his crush and often fantasizes about them. The limerent fantasy is the absolute apposite of the normal fantasy in which people fantasize about physical intimacy.

The fantasies of a limerent person are like they imagine themselves like heroes rescuing their crush from difficult situations. This shows that a limerent person is not desperate for the physical intimacy; rather they die for the gratitude, which they want their crush to pay them.

Many people share this viewpoint that limerence is very much a part of love, but psychologists say that it is far from love. When you are in love, you look forward to spend some of the best moments of your life with your partner, whereas a limerent person only wants his crush’s attention. They are not concerned about spending time with them. Their feelings are entirely dependent on the way their crush treats them. They feel elated when they get attention, and they get angry and depressed if their crush does not reciprocate their feelings.

Love is a relation in which both the partner’s share similar feelings, but limerence is a one-sided feeling. If those one-sided feelings do not get reciprocation, the person tends to harm himself, and in worse situation, they tend to harm the limerent object as well. One major feeling that differentiates love from limerence is the non-attachment and attachment feeling.

Love consists of healthy non-attachment, which means partners enjoy individual interests and later they share their experiences. On the other hand, limerence exhibits strict attachment. A limerent person desires the limerent object to be solely dependent on them for everything they do in their lives. They love keeping an eagle’s eye on their partner that is too suffocating.

Yet another difference that demarcates love from limerence is the honest communication. Two people who are in love like to indulge in long honest conversations because they love to know each other well. This is in sheer contrast to limerence, in which a limerent person plays games and manipulates situations in order to get the attention of the limerent object. Two people in love like to get physical with each other and they like being in arms of one another, but a limerent person stays away from all this because all he wants is the attention of the limerent object, and nothing else.

Love is a beautiful partnership in which one holds and supports the other in low times, whereas a limerent person never likes to get love and support. In fact, he or she likes to play the role of a hero or heroine always. They are too desperate to impress the limerent object by saving them from difficult situations and circumstances, so that they get gratitude and attention in return.

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