Guide to deal with different kinds of neighbors to live in harmony

You can avoid the world, you can hide from your relatives but you cannot really escape from the eyes of your neighbors. So if you want to lead your life in peace then it is necessary to make sure that you share the most cordial relationships with your neighbors. Otherwise they might just make your life a living hell. This is easier said than done as they are some of the most grumpiest and difficult of creatures and can really be a pain in the neck at all times. Dealing with them while maintaining a calm and happy exterior could become the task of a lifetime for you. Such neighbors seem to exist on the face of this earth for the single purpose of bugging you all the time and making you lose your cool.

irritating neighborhood

Facing off against such people and handling them on a regular basis might just be the worst nightmare any being could face but sometimes you just cannot help it if you have got such an irritating neighborhood as it would not be considered sensible if you changed your house or locality simply because your neighbors are like that. Though difficult, it is not really impossible to handle such people. You just need to use the right tactics to get away from them, all the while living near them with ease. Here are some quick tips that might prove to be helpful for you in order to make your life easier in the presence of those grouchy neighbors –

Know them to control them

The first rule is to know why your neighbor is acting in the way they are. Are they really like this by nature or is it just you who is receiving this kind of treatment from them? Are they jealous of you because of something or are they holding some deep-seated grudges against you? Do they have some personal issues that made them the way they are? Are they really that bad from the inside too or is it just a façade to show to the world? Well, these are just a few of the questions that you can try and search answers for. You should know everything there is to know about your neighbours before you even think of dealing with them. Try getting to know what you can about them from your other neighbors with whom you are more comfortable if you are new to the locality.

You have to know them to tackle them. If you do not have sufficient information about them, you might end up becoming their favorite target!

Learn the art of avoiding and smiling

Learn the art of avoiding and smiling

Though it can be really difficult at times to control your anger when you have to deal with such people on a regular basis, you should know how to bear it all with a smile on your face. Make sure that you keep a check on your anger as much as possible. If you are not in a good mood, it is better that you do not go in front of them instead of starting a fight. The more you get into such situations, the more you will end up spoiling your own day. So it is best to avoid them as much as possible. You would not like it if the fights turned into legal matters, so try and keep away from such neighbors as they can be really dangerous if they get angry enough.

Never provoke them and always keep your wits about you for the longest possible period. If you feel provoked, it’s better to just walk away rather than stay there and initiate a fight!

Be firm and sweet at the same time

Such people generally happen to be attention seekers who love to bug the people around them. So it would be best if you did not pay heed to such irritating beings. Just let them be the way they are; trying to change them would only make you feel more frustrated as they do not mend their ways easily. Moreover, they can create problems between you and your other neighbors with whom you have good relations if you try to bother them. So, the best thing to do in such a situation is to be firm while at the same time, acting sweet. Do not give them the liberty to torture you all the time but also do not let them know that you hate them or they would repeatedly do the things that bother you.

Do not ever let them get the hint that their acts are affecting you in any way. Just be engrossed in your own activities and try to ignore them while being in touch with them.

You neighbors happen to be someone you just can’t ignore completely so it would pointless to even try doing that. Rather, you should ensure that you know them completely and they know only that part of you which you want them to be familiar with i.e., the strong and independent side so that they get the idea that you can deal with them if need be but you are not at all bothered by their acts to give them that much importance or to hold grudges against them or even to get entangled in an argument with them.

How to deal with crazy neighbors

Neighbors can range from good people to crazy people, who will show tantrums and behave as if they own the area. Dealing with such people means you need to know effectively how to handle them correctly. Here are some ways to deal with crazy neighbors.

Block their line of vision

There are many people who have the habit of peering into the house of other people. They are a real nuisance. They disturb your privacy and also irritate you. A simple way to get rid of annoying neighbors is to pull your curtains across the window. However, if it is hot and stuffy like in the summer season, drawing your curtains will not be a viable idea. Instead, you can put an indoor plant there to block their view. When their views are blocked, they may resort to peeping through their yards. In such cases plant a tree, which will not only block their view but you will be helping the environment as well. You could get white lace curtains installed on your windows which would bring in the air as well as keep your crazy neighbors from peeping. This is perhaps the best way to deal with crazy neighbors.

Skip the blame game to deal with crazy neighbors

There are many neighbors who have the irritating habit of leaving their pets to go around freely and their pet comes over your lawn, dig it up and ultimately make a mess. It is better not to blame the individual. That will lead to unwanted quarrels. Instead, focus on the behavior of his pet and focus on the fact that you also care about the welfare of his pet. Try to talk it out with your neighbor and come to a solution for keeping a clean neighborhood and for maintaining good gardens. Blaming the individual will only make him defensive and embarrassed and he will thereby become stubborn in his attitude and may not listen to your rational arguments.

However, if you find that your neighbor is the stubborn types, who do not want to talk about the matter rationally, write him a letter. If the person does not reply, you can contact the local law enforcement officials and the animal control agency to know more about lease laws and noise ordinances. It is always better to know about your rights when things are going the wrong way.

Resolve boundary issues

Many crazy neighbors may quarrel with you over the issue of the boundary of your house and their house. He may be of the opinion that the tree, the lawn or the fence in between your houses is your property and it is your responsibility to look after them.

If such a situation arises, talk with your neighbor and try to point out to him about the positive effects of the tree or the lawn or the fence. Even after the talk if things are not going the right way, you can write a letter to your neighbor stating the fact that you are serious about the issue and want to resolve it. Having a letter will be proof that you can produce if matters become worse and legal actions need to be taken.

Another alternative solution is to have the property surveyed. This will help resolve the problem of the property lines. Since both you and your neighbor want to solve the dispute, it will be fair if both of you will share the surveying cost rather than you bearing the total amount for the survey. If your neighbor is still crazy, you can suggest meditation to him for calming his mind and then focus on solving the problem.

Keep a record of repeated offenses

Maintaining a record of all the repeated offenses can be of great help when dealing with rude neighbors, especially if you decide to take the issue to the higher authority. Keep a running list of your complaints and try to include as many details as possible. For instance, if the kids of your neighbor run into your yard or if the same neighbor has loud parties or keep his music turned up into the wee hours, log each time these incidents occur. There are several advantages to maintaining a complaint log. First of all, you’ll be more organized, and when you approach your neighbor, then you’ll have something to fall back on. Most importantly, having written documentation will make sure that you have a better case if the incident leads to legal issues.

Catch him red handed if he is vandalizing property

There are instances of crazy neighbors who will vandalize your property out of no reason. Their action cannot be interpreted logically. It is moreover hard to prove that they are damaging your property unless you can catch them red handed or have enough proof against them. Putting up lights around your house in the evening ensures that you can catch them in the act. Putting up sign boards like “the house is under video surveillance” also helps in putting the neighbor at bay. The sign should be enough to stop your crazy neighbor from behaving in such a manner. However, if the situation still persists and you feel threatened, then you can put up a surveillance camera. That would help in keeping a track of your neighbor’s activities around your house and act as a proof for you to give to the local police if the situation worsens.

Contact your apartment manager to deal with crazy neighbors

You can consider reporting the constant negative behavior of your neighbor to the apartment manager. Have a look at the terms of the lease as they may have stipulations related to the conduct issues. Make sure you speak directly with the apartment manager as this is the best way to make your complaint effective. Take along with you the log which you have made containing the details of all the annoying incidents. It may happen that the manager doesn’t respond in the way as you may have expected, but the management will eventually confront the offending neighbor with your concerns if you continue to address them with your problems.

Ignore them

Nothing works better than ignoring the crazy neighbors. If you find your neighbor yelling or making gestures at you, do not be enraged and yell back at them. Rather keep calm and ignore them. These people are actually attention seekers and will be highly pleased if you become enraged and shout at their crazy stunts. Many neighbors will come up at your door to create a scene and draw you into the drama. The best policy is to ignore them and not to open the door. If the person still does not leave the place, call the police. This will ensure him that the next time he disturbs you, you will be seeking legal help.

Find a reason

Try to figure out what might be going on in your neighbor’s mind and what might be the reason behind his odd behavior. Look for your own faults first which may be annoying them and if you find any, sort them out without any delay. Try to talk to them to know them better and be friendlier towards them. Don’t be egoistic in your approach and extend a hand of friendship first. Do not try to compare them with others or evaluate them without knowing them properly. If they have wronged you, give them another chance.

Stay calm and share with friends

Even if you are being annoyed regularly by a neighbor, do not lose your temper. Always keep a cool mind and do not give him a chance to point out your mistake. Be friendly from your side. You can share your problem with your friends and other neighbors who will be able to give you good advice. These friends will also prove helpful later and will come to your aid when you are being harassed by the crazy neighbors.

How to deal with nosey neighbors

In a world of exclusivity and seclusion, finding good neighbors is as difficult as finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. And by good neighbors, we mean those who know where the boundary lines lay- both physical and otherwise.

On the other end of the secluded and exclusive spectrum are the overly friendly, curious beyond description and nosey neighbors. Dealing with them requires shrewdness and patience, as arguments and full blown fights only further stress our already stressful lives.

Be gentle yet firm

Be gentle yet firm

It is often said, that the way to discipline children is with firmness enveloped in gentleness. More often than not, nosey neighbors are not children, but, it works well to treat them with the same gentle firmness.

If you and your family are in the middle of something, and they force their way in, ask them, politely to come back at a later time, as you are busy at the moment. Most people will respond to that, however there still will be some who would not get the message. In that case, let gentleness take a backseat and firmness become the weapon.

Repeat yourself, in a firm manner and walk towards the door, asking them to come back at a later time.

Respect your own privacy

If you are doing something private or playing Scrabble with your family AND you have nosey neighbors, keep your doors shut and curtains drawn.

Do not encourage phone calls or visits from these neighbors at that time. If confronted later, calmly let them know that you were having a private/family time and didn’t want to be disturbed. Who knows, maybe it’ll encourage them to have some family time themselves. And yes, being assertive with nosey neighbors will lead to loss of goodwill from them, but that shouldn’t really matter.

Leave a sign

nosey neighbor

Like in hotels, make your own signs to leave on the door to tell your nosey neighbors that you are not in the mood to entertain them. These could be funny, sarcastic or factual. When they don’t have the opportunity to persuade you face to face, it’ll be easier for you to ensure that your privacy is respected.

Educate your family

In households with little children, it’s possible for nosey neighbors to cross that invisible line of decency and through them, gather personal information about the household. So, its important, that as an adult, if you are aware of such neighbors, you educate your children to not divulge such information to them.

This could be anything from what brand of cereal you buy to where you keep your money. Children should know that talking to strangers or to neighbors about certain personal things can be dangerous.

Practice patience

Practice patience

Some nosey neighbors may never enter your house, but be aware of your activities. Like the women shown in movies, they peer out of their windows, secretly watching and gathering information. If you have such a neighbor, and catch him or her doing that, wave to them with a smile. It will confound them to no end.

Of course, if you feel that they are crossing the line from being just nosey, to stalking, it might be time to call the authorities.

Be straightforward

Some neighbors not only snoop but also act as the local gossip. If you are dealing with such a one, its best to confront.

If lies are being spread about you and your family by this neighbor, find a mutual friend/neighbor and go up to their house and ask them about it. When confronted, snoops and gossips will ALWAYS deny it, but, they will be scared to gossip about you or your family again.

Confrontation need not be dramatic. True, if this person has been ruining your life or causing you great pain, its not easy to be cool and controlled, but to show yourself as the bigger person, patience will work in your favor. Also, having someone with you, will help you keep remain balanced.

Try ‘Two Can Play the Game’

become a nosey neighbor yourself.

This should be the last resort. Sometimes, people need to be shown things from a different perspective. So, for a couple of painful (sometimes fun) days, become a nosey neighbor yourself. Repeat to them, the things they do to you. Through demonstration, show them, how frequent intrusions from neighbors can cause loss of time, irritation and annoyance.

This should be done with utmost caution and with compassion and as mentioned earlier, as the last resort.

Dr Prem Jagyasi and Team

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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