How to deal with family problems

Whether you are family through blood relation or through marriage, you are certainly going to have problems every once in a while. Different approaches are required for different problems, but the tips given here can provide you a perspective on how to begin.

Don’t lose patience

The process of working with and sorting out family problems is going to be tough if you don’t have a lot of patience. You will certainly want to pack up and run away to the farthest place from these problems if you don’t have patience. Anger is the king of all vices and patience is the antidote to it, that is why of all the virtues possessed by human beings, patience is considered to be the king. When it comes to dealing with family problems, you need to have patience, otherwise, you’ll end up being angry and everyone knows that nothing good ever comes from anger. Your mother-in-law is more likely to return fire with anger if you respond in an angry way to her intrusion. You damage your ability to communicate properly when you deal with your family members using anger. Even you must have experienced that you immediately lose trust in a person who responds in anger when you approach them with a genuine issue. The same goes with the family. They are less likely to share their views with you if you respond in anger to their opinions and behavior.

Listen what others have to say

You need to be a good listener if you want to deal with your family problems. Your family members will be more honest in sharing their feelings with you if they feel that you are really trying to understand. Most of the time, when we are having a conversation, our focus remains on keeping our opinion rather than understanding point of view of others. In other words, we just wait for our turn to talk and don’t try to listen what others have to say. In place of understanding what they are saying, our mind continues to look for all the ways we can retaliate. However, the scenario may become more workable if we just sit and listen carefully to them. The next time when any family problem arises, try to stay calm and listen to what everyone has to say. It may happen that they may have a better solution for the problem.

Keep the volume of your voice low

One of the main strengths of a good debater is his control over his voice. Even in the loudest of the debates, you can easily identify them, not because their voice is loud and can be heard from a distant place but because of their calm and collected attitude. Keeping the volume of your voice low is one of the critical elements of winning an argument. The other person is also going to yell if you raise your voice in a conversation, then you will raise your voice even more and in no time, what should have been a meaningful conversation turns into a shouting match. On the other hand, keeping your voice low has several advantages. First of all, it will make the other person to listen and understand what you are saying. Other than this, you will stay calm which will allow you to think straight. Your ability to think rationally gets screwed up when you shout, because your adrenaline level rises with your pitch.

Don’t think about it too much

An argument with a family hurts more than anything else and, therefore, we think about it a lot even when the problem has been sidelined. You can never solve any problem by going over things again and again in your head. For instance, if there’s a problem between you and your mother which turns out into an argument, then believe me, you are nowhere even close to solving the problem if you continue to think about the argument in your head. Next time when you have an argument with one of your family member, just let it go. Divert your attention to somewhere else, watch television, drink a cup of tea and relax. And most importantly, avoid playing the scenario out in your head. In fact, there’s also no need of thinking about the solution, just let it go because in most of the cases the issue resolves itself with time.

Remember, they are your family

Finally, whatever happens and no matter how serious the argument turns out to be, you always need to remember the most important thing which is that they are your family. Every family has some problems, and facing these problems together is the best approach to handle them. Always remember that you need your family and your family needs you.

Dr Prem Jagyasi (c)

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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