Did you think your man to be the greatest in the world, when suddenly realizing one day that you were falling for a wrong person? Can your man no more handle the job of changing the diapers and partying at the same time?? If so, check yourself before you fall in some serious trouble.
Time to re-evaluate
If the man you are dating tells you that he has a baby mama and they are on comfortably good terms, then you must need a break and ponder on this matter. There is absolutely no woman that would let her childâs father go away or break a relationship with her just because of the next sexy thing which is you. As long as baby mama has a living child for your boyfriend, she is financially, emotionally and physically linked with him and has your man clawed forever. If she finds out that the father of her child is dating you, then prepare yourself; you are going to be a victim of a terrible baby mama drama even if you are innocent. She would be hurt and broken and would do everything to get back on that man. Also, she knows that she cannot hurt you directly so be ready to be trapped in between the ongoing drama.
Talk to baby mama
You might find challenges in dealing with this new guy who already has children and this problematic baby mama, but if you want to sort out the problem then the best thing to do is talk to the furious baby mama and calm her down. Set a meeting with her and tell her that there is no way that you would be trying to replace her position in the guyâs life ever. Make her comfortable and assure her about your intentions. Tell her that you understand her bond with the guy and his children and will never come between them. Listen why she might be feeling insecure and make her understand that you would not create any trouble and expect the same from her as well. This will help you deal with the problem and get over it forever but if she still doesnât cooperate then remind her that you can seek higher authorities also if the matter runs out of hands.
Time to re-evaluate
Initially, during the time when you and your guy are dating each other, things might look perfect. You will not even find his child or baby mama to be a serious trouble and the love between you will outcast the possibility of having terrible fallouts but before you realize things too late, take a break and think about where you are heading. You might love this guy a lot and trust him enough to go through all the pain but do not make yourself out to be a glutton for punishment. If this ongoing drama gets you, just take a step back and re-evaluate. You might think that the guy is worth your hassle, but there is no man worth your happiness and peace of mind. This guy has the audacity to get laid with her, get that girl with a child and then abandon her when he finds a much prettier option. So think what makes him halt at you when he cannot be loyal to the mother of his child.
Be confident and give it a chance
If you think that this guy is really worth all the pain, strife, damage and tears, then give your relationship a chance. For this you have to be strong enough to deal with the fact that the baby mama is going to haunt your life and is not going to let things fall out so easily. She is going to do anything that can satisfy her vindictive streak. But the only way out to handle this situation is to be calm and patience. It is the best policy and logical too. Act as a mature person; take a wiser path because she is not going to do that. Take the initiative, let go your ego and be respectful because after all itâs her home and her child. Be nice to the child and make him comfortable with you so that things get lighter. Do not say anything about her that will upset the child and try not to interfere with his/her raising.
Understand her
Now that you have accepted the fact that she cannot be erased from the life of the child and the guy, it is time to understand her also. Do not forget that baby mama too, is a woman. She is also like you, with emotions and a lovable heart. Remember that sometime in the past she actually loved the guy who is not with her anymore and shares an emotional bond with him and the child is there to keep this bond alive forever. It is not necessary that the baby mama will be a phantom and will be after your lives to ruin it; she is a mother and has a caring heart for the child and may be for the father too. Do not talk ill about her or call her names, accept the fact that she is not going anywhere and stop imagining that she would sign over the childâs custody and be gone forever.
