Many marriages turn sour only because of the fact that harsh words are used at the outburst of anger. If you are dealing with anger issues of your husband and really want to make things better, you need to be prepared in advance as how to respond. Here are few suggestions that will help you.
Checking the level of anger in your husband
Dealing with anger issues in your husband can be challenging for which you first need to figure out what all is your husband capable of doing when he is angry. At times a husband my appear calm and loving until he is angry, however he may do a lot of ghastly things that a wife may not have thought of.
In case he demonstrates a sign of violence, you must take it as warning and be extra careful, as when angry, he may turn violent against you and cause unintentional bodily harms. He may also commit crime at that moment of anger which he may regret later.
Take time off until things cool down
At times, it may get difficult to hold back your anger and do not respond. However, to effectively deal with anger issues, it is of utmost importance that you do not engage and argue back. The idea is to make your spouse realize that his angry behavior is unacceptable whereas defensive response will only heat up the arguments.
If you sense that your anger is swelling up, politely tell your partner that you will not converse until a pleasant atmosphere is attained. If the situation allows, you may also make a voice recording of your husband in your mobile phone or any other instrument when he is angry and make him listen the same when things cool down. This practice will help you in realizing his irrational behavior in a fit of anger. He may also not like the acrimonious words he might have used when angry, which can most likely be a turning point for his anger.
Talk to him
Effective communication is the essence of any relationship. Let him know that it is not ok with you when he gets angry on you without being any fault of yours. Make him understand that anger kills a person and advice him of the consequences it carries. This will help him see the damage his anger is doing to your relationship.
Moreover, effective communication also means being a patient listener. Give a quite ear to his thoughts. Find out what he has to say about his anger. Even at the time of an angry outburst, maintain a calm demeanor. At an appropriate time initiate a conversation with your husband and tell him as to how his anger is slowly sucking love from your marital life. Stay away from putting blames and remember to be calm and respectful all the time.
Find out the roots of his anger
If you can find out the real cause of his anger, it can be really helpful to fight these issues. Answer a few questions for yourself. Like, is this how his family members shed off their frustration or try to solve their problems? Is there any recent circumstantial change that is causing your husband a fit of rage?
The response to these questions will help you find out the best way to handle his anger issues. If your husbandâs anger is the cause of his family history, there is less that you can do to personally bring in the change. Consulting a counselor can be helpful, as this issue most likely requires an overall personality development due to anger being in his blood. However, if the latter is true, anger issues in most cases will be temporary and can be easily taken care of with love, support and a mature outlook.
Suggest your husband new ways to express his anger and frustrations
You canât handle all his problems for certain, but you can help him lighten his load as you care for him and by doing so it will most likely improve your life too.
No matter how many ways you adapt to effectively deal with anger issues in your husband things will not change overnight. Until then, suggest your husband alternatives to express his anger. These ways could be listening to loud music, going out for a walk, writing a diary or may be boxing on the punching bag. It could be anything that you think will be helpful for your husband. If you see him making an attempt, you must encourage him by letting him know that you can see he is trying.
