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Revisit selfishness – Live A Great Life Podcast by Dr Prem – Chapter. 43

Revisit selfishness - Live A Great Life Podcast by Dr Prem – Chapter. 43


Here is a quote – Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.

—Karl Lagerfeld

Those who never associate being selfish with anything positive are not always right; indeed, they are often wrong. Various studies conducted by researchers, scholars, and psychologists prove that there is nothing sinful about prioritizing oneself over other responsibilities and duties. We won’t be able to contribute anything to society or other people we care about if we become habituated to ditching our interests for others’ gains.

What is ‘selfishness’?

Well, it’s high time we redefine the term ‘selfishness’. We need to understand that selfishness does not mean using others. Instead, it is primarily related to our urge to feed our passion and ensure our goals are met before we can finally become of some value to others. Society unsparingly adds all types of negative connotations to being selfish; accordingly, it advocates selflessness, which, to me, is nothing but the practice of over-sacrificing that makes us the victim of our superfluous ideas. By being selfish, we are not using others or forcing them to serve us; we are only concerned with the self, which in no way is going to hurt anybody. Putting yourself first is the most logical thing to do; however, any actions guided by this mentality should not hurt others.

In order to get the right idea of our self, we first need to figure out who we really are. Unless we analyze our character, qualities, and shortcomings, chances are we won’t be able to find what we need the most to feed our true self. Make a list of things that make you happy, and figure out how these things could make you the person that you always wanted to be. While preparing this list, you cannot afford to lose sight of things you would like to achieve someday, such as riches, possessions, health and, of course, time for yourself.

Choice of being selfish provides perfect contentment

The mantra here is to do things that you want to do – not because others want you to do them. A study38 conducted by psychologist JZ Berman at the University of Pennsylvania reveals that our choice of being selfish is actually the key to perfect contentment. It, however, may force us to battle guilt sometimes. Published in Psychological Science, the study further states that people refrain from acting in a selfish manner because they don’t want to tarnish their social image. Well, does anyone – except your parents, siblings, and spouse – really care whether you are selfish or selfless? If being selfless means hurling abuse on your own self and sacrificing your interests so that others may flourish, it’s going to be an agonizing virtue to acquire. Instead of blaming yourself for what others think, you should focus on what truly matters to you and how minding your own business helps you create your best self.

Live life your way

Our decisions play a vital role in making us happy from within. We may achieve extraordinary feats by allowing others to decide for us, but would we be happy with our achievements if passion is missing?

Make your own rules

When you allow your instincts, passion, and thinking ability to guide you, the world tends to become a place where you make your own rules and do things as per your wishes. After all, it makes perfect sense to take your decisions yourself rather than following in the footsteps of others and thus, deriving a false sense of inspiration from their deeds and exploits. Follow your passions instead to lead a happy life that you have carved for yourself.

So, if you’ve been thinking that being selfish is all about treating others badly, developing enmities and having resistance to love, you were on the wrong page thus far for sure. There is nothing shameful or reprehensible about putting your needs first. In fact, by doing so, you can pursue your purpose efficiently and be generous to others at the same time.

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