Here is a quote – Imagine for yourself a character, a model personality, whose example you determine to follow, in private as well as in public.
—Epictetus
If we have some role models, we often tend to ignore their negative qualities. Faults that might seem unbearable in other people around us, might seem to add to the grandness of our role models. However, when we come to realize that, just like many of us, our role models also suffer from addiction, or mental health disorders, or troubled personal lives, we often think, ‘Is this what we want for ourselves?’ At times like these, we become aware of yet another dimension of the lives of our role models, which, though it seems insignificant at times, actually governs their lives.
A study carried out by Judith MacCallum and Susan Beltman substantiates that young people see different groups or individuals as role models in different ways37. So, basically, we don’t look for role models, but certain qualities that are dominant in those personalities. Our role model, thus, could be anyone – celebrities, family members, famous people, teachers, adult community members or peers. The qualities we can relate to most define and delineate our future course of action since those dominant traits in our role models inspire us in some way.
Their personal lives, professionalism, passions, ethics, hobbies or things they have done to transform their lives will surely attract you. You simply need to follow some simple steps to understand what you admire the most in your role model.
Dig into your list to understand who to follow
Confucius says, ‘If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of one and imitate them and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.’ We are capable of making our decisions, which differentiates us from other living beings on the planet. Thus, when we allow others to inspire us, we can tell the difference between what is good and what is bad for us. We need to work on the good qualities that we find in our role models while ensuring we eliminate and correct the bad ones in us simultaneously.
Don’t end up making comparisons
Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor, and renowned thinker, said, ‘Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.’ It’s simply pointless to make futile comparisons when you have too many idols to follow. Instead of wasting your time lamenting your shortcomings, start admiring the qualities of your idols while ensuring you live up to your expectations. Don’t let their desirable qualities make you feel low; instead, double your efforts to ensure that those qualities eventually become a part of your character.
Learn about people who are where you want to be
There is plenty of inspiration around. The moment you decide to reach out to it, it starts coming towards you. However, you need to be very specific about finding the right inspiration. Find someone who you believe has a life that you want. Take your time to understand how they got it. You may read books, do research, or contact your role models directly to find out how they realized such tremendous achievements.
Admiring your role models is an easy thing to do. Strengthening your efforts while making calculated moves to realize your passion, however, is a different ball game. If you wish to master your teacher’s extraordinary communication skills, your dad’s logical ability or your boss’s management skills, you need to practice them frequently in your own life for some time to be where you want to. You ought to discover the fourth dimension that is hiding behind the person you admire.
