Every individual carried certain ideals and beliefs and if somebody tries to override those in every big and small activity, life can be tough. It is not that uncommon that you may be dealing with overbearing, pushy or bossy people at home or out. But the trick lies in smart handling of them. Let us check this guide.
The presence of overbearing people might make you uncomfortable in your every move. Though you cannot change their behavior, you can change your attitude towards them which will make you comfortable. Here are some effortless techniques to deal with overbearing people.
Know their limits
Every person has his/her own moral beliefs in life. Intruding others in their personal or professional life for the sake of mocking him/her is totally unbearable. The disgusting fact is that such people are present all over the world. One should know his/her own boundaries in a relationship with others. If someone crosses their limits, then it’s the time for you to take action immediately. Only when you set your own boundaries, you can be flexible in relationships, until he/she crosses them beyond the limits. Sometimes, you may experience this problem with your loved ones. Still, you should be aware of their limits in your relationship.
Focus on your work
The reason for some people to become overbearing is that they have generous time to put their nose on others desks. If you focus on your goals in life, obviously, you will have no time to waste on overbearing people. In other words, just ignore the annoyances of those people and their actions. Of course, it’s quite hard to do that when these people are troubling you purposefully. However, with practice and patience, you may acquire the skills to avoid such people.
If overbearing people are in your family or workplace, you may have to face them daily. You cannot just walk away without noticing their presence. In such cases, just greet those people with a smile and move your attention towards something else, immediately. Don’t try to make eye contact for more than a second or two. Eyes are the first part of our body that communicates with the outside world. People can guess others intentions right from the behavior of the eyes. If you wonder about the problem that the overbearing people might create while you establish eye contact with them, they may recognize it as well.
Showing yourselves busy at something doesn’t make the overbearing people take their attention off you. Instead, face these people boldly and assign them some work. It may be a part of your project or totally irrelevant to your work. It doesn’t matter about the type of work you let them do. But, make them work on something. Else, they will keep troubling you or someone close to you. However, to deal with overbearing people, make sure that the work you assign them is relatively easy so that those people can do them by themselves. Or else, they might start troubling you about the work you assigned them.
Be positive to deal with overbearing people
Overbearing people are very annoying at several times. But, remember that overbearing is only an attitude. As every human being is unique, he/she has his/her own thoughts and creativity; likely, it means that overbearing people should have some good qualities in them. Find those laudable traits and appreciate them. The power of positivity can change your attitude towards the overbearing people. Stop being selfish by wanting them to change their attitude towards you. In fact, being positive can influence others to become positive in their life. Thus, it brings a double satisfaction to you.
Forgive and forget
The troubles caused by overbearing people might bring you heavy losses and unbearable circumstances. Still, you may forgive them for their mischievous activities in your life. Because the quality of forgiveness not only calms down the situation but also brings joy to oneself. The act of forgiving may not be the only solution to deal with overbearing people, but, it’s more satisfactory and powerful than others. Forget the frustrating moments caused by overbearing people and find ways to appreciate them. Indubitably, you won’t regret it later.
Move on – the best way to deal with overbearing people
At some point, if you cannot bear the torture of overbearing people, don’t hesitate to move away from them. If your loved ones are behaving so, try to solve the issue by yourselves or seek help from others. Of course, you may miss something if you move away from your current position; however, convince yourselves that there are a lot of opportunities outside your present comfort zone. Consider this solution as the final option only. Take sufficient time to practice these techniques in your real-life situations. Your experiences with overbearing people can make you an expert in dealing with them.
Before you go…
It is wise to remember that most overbearing people are also generally rude. Read on to know how you can successfully deal with rude people in your day-to-day life.
How to deal with rude people
It is very easy to lose your cool if someone is behaving rudely with you. A better thing to do in such a situation is to take a deep breath and start counting numbers in your head to stay calm. There is no use unnecessarily raising your own blood pressure when things can be taken care of in a much calmer way. Learn to ignore the person who is rude to you and don’t pay attention to his comments. What others say about you should not bother you anyway. Always remember that if you lose control and lash out your anger at him, then there is no difference between the two of you. Don’t let others’ rude behavior get to you and spoil your image.
Confront, only if necessary
While staying calm is the best option, there is a limit up to which one can tolerate rude behavior. If things get out of hand you need to step up and settle the matter. It also depends on the situation you are in and the person who is being rude to you. If it is your senior at your workplace or an adult, confronting is not right. However, if it is your subordinate or even your colleague who is behaving rudely, you have every right to confront him and stop the rude behavior. Alternatively, you can also take the matter to your superior to sort things out.
Don’t take it personally
When someone is rude to us we sometimes start thinking that the fault lies with us and that we have some unappealing quality that makes people behave this way with us. However, this is far from true; you should never take such behavior personally. A person can be rude to you not only because you are at fault, but also because he is frustrated about something and taking it out on you. You should try to see the situation in an objective way and try to find out why the person is acting in such a manner, instead of blaming yourself.
Don’t expect rude behavior to change
Unfortunately, some people are just plain rude. They may not even realize how unpleasant and rude their behavior is. They just don’ know how to behave in any other way. The only thing you can do is to accept the fact that you can’t change their behavior. If you keep hoping that their behavior will improve over time, you are fooling no one but yourself and will be left disappointed. Once you have accepted the rude behavior you will also find it easier to ignore it in the future.
Divert your attention
Sometimes, the person who is rude to you can be from your family. In such a situation, confronting that family member might not improve the situation and may, in fact, lead to a rift in relationships. Try to take your mind off the rude and annoying behavior. Divert your energies towards something more constructive such as playing with your kids, doing repairs around the house, gardening and so on. Alternatively, you can also shut yourself in your room and listen to soft music until your mind is completely off the incident.
Humor is a sure shot way to ease any unpleasant situation. When a person is talking rudely to you just imagine something very funny in your head. Majority of the times you will instantly feel better. There is no limit to what images you bring up in your mind. Imagine throwing the rude person into a pile of garbage or twisting his arms and legs till he resembles a pretzel. This is a sure shot way to keep your mind occupied somewhere else and will also help you to not retaliate.
If none of these above measures seem to work for you, the last thing to do is to take someone’s help. You could try and talk to the person who is behaving rudely to you and suggest counseling. Alternatively, you can speak with his family members or friends who might be able to tell you the reason for his rude behavior and help you solve the issue. If this is happening in your workplace, you can contact the Human Resources Department and they will be able to help you.
How to deal with pushy people
Pushy people are those who push their views, opinions and ideas on others so much so that the other person is almost forced to accept it even against personal choice. We encounter them everywhere, in the grocery store, in the playground, co-workers in office or a family member. Here are ways to deal with these people even better.
Remain calm but be assertive
No matter how much the person is pushing you to consent to his views, it is very important that you stay put in your decision. Maintain a very calm stance but very clearly spell it out that you are not willing to do/accept it even though he/she feels it is the best option available. If required, you can repeat the same dialogue time and again and make it very clear that insistence or pushing will not change your mind. If possible, it is best to get away from the situation immediately after stating your mind openly and unambiguously without any aggression. Your confidence, non-aggressive approach and clean communications will make it easier for the pushy ones to realize that you cannot be manipulated easily and they might stop annoying you any further.
No explanations or justifications
The idea is to recognize the person who is pushy and stay away from them and out of any conversation mode. Instead of falling into their trap of “solving your problems,â stay far away from conversing at length with people who might turn pushy. If cornered into a situation, learn to say no without providing detailed justifications for your action. Your explanations might make you look more of an indecisive and passive person and open an avenue for the pushy ones to push their way through.
Hear out their theories without giving in
Setting boundaries with family members can be difficult and quite tricky. So while dealing with family members who are trying to be pushy and difficult, lot more tact is required than outsiders. Here you can hear in detail to their side of the option. Then question and cross-question on their belief and reasoning for the option, but at the end, make it very clear that you are firm in your decision and not willing to change your mind. This will make your intentions sound more positive and well formed. By giving them a patient hearing, you allow them to express themselves fully and then by not giving in to their whims, you are making it clear that you are decisive and firm in your outlook and not to be swayed easily.
How to deal with bossy people
Handling a bossy person can be really stressful. Their controlling nature and rude behavior can often make the environment frustrating. Here are some simple ways to deal with such people.
Be kind and polite to them
Bossy people love to order and want others to follow them. This behavior of theirs can be really annoying, but you need to deal patiently with them. Show them kindness and love. Make sure you listen to them so that they feel happy and satisfied. Always be gentle and polite to them. If you react in a rude manner, it will only lead to new arguments which will be quite depressing. Your kind behavior, however, can leave them surprised and probably they would try to cool down and behave themselves. You can also ask them several questions on why they behave in such a manner. Understand their feelings and make them realize that they have a wrong attitude.
Convey your feelings to them
Dealing with a bossy person is difficult. Their rude manners can often fill you with negativity. You cannot let the person ruin your mood everyday. Therefore, it is very important to be honest and convey your feelings. You do not need to be rude or angry with them. Be cool and very gently tell them how you feel about them and their behavior. It might be possible that till now they had not realized that their manners is hurting others and they need to change it soon. If you bring your problem to their notice, they might work toward changing their nature and behave nicely in future.
Give them respect
Each one of us love to be respected. Your boss is no exception. No matter how rude his behaviors are, he surely deserves respect. Hatred can only add bitterness in your relationship. So, forget about all the negative feelings that you have against this person and treat him with due respect. The only way to deal with a bossy person is by being good to him and making him feel respected. It might be possible that your good behavior would slowly make him realize that he needs to change his arrogant ways and be good to others. Some day you would find him a changed person.