Bullying is not something confined to playgrounds or classrooms only. Countless grown ups face bullying in office environments. The bullies here may range from the manager down to a simple coworker. Irrespective of the person causing the distress, it is you, the victim, who bears the brunt, as bullying damages self-confidence and infuses you with a feeling of dread for the workplace. Maintain your calm Stay firm on your decision, and do not waver, no matter how hard the person tries to persuade you for help. The requests ought to be met with rejections from your end. In case the situation takes a turn for the worse, and the bully starts abusing you verbally, maintain your calm. Tell the person politely that you have a superior to report to and that the present assignments are far more urgent than resolving the favors asked for. Keeping calm invariably means that you remain obvious to onlookers around, a sure mark of professionalism that contrasts the bullyâs attitude in every possible way. Finding you cool and calm against his or her vociferous reactions, the bully will be prompted to raise the voice, thereby degrading his/her position further. Do not feel ashamed or intimated, for that is exactly what the office bully aims at achieving. Be sure to demonstrate that his abuses are not affecting you in any manner whatsoever. By following the strategy described above, you are sure to emerge the winner in your war with the bully.
Learn to say no Do not hesitate twice before rejecting the requests, if you already have too much on your plate. The ability to say a firm no demonstrates strength. There are countless helpless people around, who find themselves agreeing to requests put forth by insensitive individuals. This, in turn, leaves them burdened with too many duties and responsibilities. Hence our advice is, do never bite off more than you can chew. A majority of office bullies target coworkers who cannot bring themselves to say a firm ânoâ. Your first task, therefore, lies in mustering courage to say no, every time the bullies dump their share of work ruthlessly on your desk. However, be sure to remain polite even when you are saying no. Express your regrets at not being able to help the bully since the assignments you have should be completed first.
Be aware of your rights and acknowledge them Go through the appointment letter you had signed at the time of joining. It gives you a clear idea of the reporting structure you are expected to follow. It should be remembered that the clause and guidelines stated in the appointment letter remain same unless there is a change of employment contract. Officially, therefore, you have every right to reject unnecessary requests from people other than the superior. In fact, by agreeing to work for a person who is not your superior you are actually breaking the rules. By acknowledging the fact, you appear more firm in your dealings and ânegotiationsâ with the bully.
Be familiar with the boundaries Always remember that there is a thin line which separates the right from the wrong, and the acceptable from the unacceptable at the workplace, as it concerns interpersonal interactions. Hence, familiarize yourself with the boundaries of what is considered generally acceptable in dealing with the office bully. The moment you feel that the person at fault tries intruding your personal space, know that his/her behavior qualifies as wrong and therefore, demands to be rectified. Here, personal space denotes the gap between yourself and people around you, and any intrusion of the space is likely to make you feel nervous or uncomfortable. Stepping back is probably the best solution when it comes to guarding the personal space. Know that there is nothing abnormal in feeling intimidated about an outsider trying to encroach upon your personal space. You, therefore, have every right to ask for solitude. If the bully is persistent in getting too close for your comfort, then you can as well tag such behavior as a form of sexual harassment. Seek the advice of somebody you know and trust. Do never dismiss such discomforts as sensitive outbursts of emotions, since sexual harassment encountered at the workplace are caused partly by insensitivity. Never
take the gulit trip The prime aim of a bully is to make his or her victim feel bad. Be aware of the trap, and never fall into it by taking a guilt trip. Always remember that you owe nothing to the bully, although he or she would like you to think that way. Therefore, by refusing to follow his âordersâ, you are not doing anything wrong. It is not your responsibility to keep the bully satisfied. Hence, regardless of what the bully has to say about you, do never consider yourself useless or worthless or the inefficient worker, something that he or she is bent on making you believe. Every bully plays an age old trick wherein he or she will try and make you feel grateful on being the given opportunity to do things for self improvement. The trick is nothing but an emotional nonsense and do not succumb to it. Rekindle or build your self-esteem and start developing a sense of self-growth, while at the same time assuring yourself that you are an important asset to the organization. Nothing the bully says can change the truth.
Be sure to protect yourself Refusing to given in to his or her demands is probably the best way of protecting yourself against a bully. However, in extreme cases where the bully tries to extort money from you or threatens to harm you physically, seek immediate help. Start by learning self-defense moves in order to ward off attacks, especially when you are alone with the bully and might as well be stalked by him. In case the situation takes a turn for the worse, approach your immediate superior with the problem or speak to a trusted friend. If the situation appears to have worsened beyond the point of negotiations, then lodge a police complaint.
Detect the reasons for the bullying nature Take a moment off, and consider the situation from the bullyâs point of view. Try and understand where this bullying nature stems from. Are you the only person around to bear the brunt, or is the bully targeting everybody in office? Is aggressiveness a part of his or her general nature? Observing the root cause of the problem may prove immensely helpful in eradicating it. Perhaps, the person you call bully is facing problems at home, with other coworkers, or feeling stressed out about things not related to you. While the bullyâs personal life or mental engagement can never be an excuse for his or her impractical behavior, yet it helps you understand the problems better and find a subsequent solution.
