How to deal with narcissism

A narcissist person shows symptoms like aggression, defensiveness and verbal abuse. Such people are said to be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD). Individuals with symptoms of this disorder are two-faced i.e. they are charming and competitive in public while sarcastic, arrogant and aggressive in private. Here are some ways to deal with narcissism.

Lower your expectations

You should try to enjoy a narcissists’ good qualities but at the same time try to understand that they are emotionally limited. If you are ready to accept this, you would not be expecting something from them that they cannot ever give and hence, would not get disappointed. Gradually you would start liking their company.The narcissists are usually selfish and find it very hard to share the limelight. They are always ready to exploit other people for their own benefits. In other words they don’t care about anybody but themselves. So, expecting something from them is of no use.These people are egoists and have limited capacity for true love. Most of the times the reason of being narcissist is being raised by parents who are themselves narcissists.

Never depend on narcissists

One should never get caught in the trap of ‘always-trying-to-please-a-narcissist’ as it is next to impossible to do so. Also, you must protect your sensitivity. Always refrain from confiding your deepest feelings to someone who won’t cherish them ever.The person suffering from NPD pretends to have high standards, but in reality is very low in perfectionism. Hence, they become flakey and hypocritical. They seldom follow on promises and spend most of their time seeking people who will appreciate them or who they can vent their aggression on. Try not to fall in love with a narcissist, and even if you do, do not expect your sensitivity to be honored.

Show how something will be to their benefit

In order to successfully communicate with narcissists, one must learn to frame their sentences in their benefit. Since your needs are of no interest for them and getting angry or demanding has no effect on their behavior, always speak what means something to them. For example instead of saying to a narcissist “I would like to invite you to dinner”, you can state the same as “Everyone at my home really likes you and they would really like to have you over for dinner”. Or instead of saying “I do not want to work at nights” to your employer,you can rephrase it as “I can bring more revenue to your company during these hours”.In this way you can convert any of your purpose into something useful from the point of view of a narcissist.If the relationship with a narcissist is not avoidable, you can use this technique to achieve the desired outcome. The narcissists tend to display lack of empathy. All they care about is there own benefit in every situation.They are jealous of accomplishments of others and become angry with anything that takes focus away from them.

Avoid challenging the narcissist’s wishes

Narcissists have very low tolerance for interference and disagreement. So, you should try not to go against their wishes. Argument with a narcissist is seldom expected to give you any fruitful result. Narcissists have abnormal expectations from people and situations. They feel that they are entitled to more favorable treatment than anyone else and are supposed to acquiesce to their wishes. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They always overrate the significance of their talents and achievements. The narcissists tend to be totally absorbed in fantasies of power, brilliance, beauty, success and other achievements and qualities. They live in the false belief that they are special and can be understood and appreciated only by the people who are also special.So even if you disagree with them,they will only think that you are not special enough to understand them.

Be honest and sincere in your praise and recognition

You usually have to complement a narcissist to gain his attention or approval.But you should be very careful in doing so. Identify and state only those of the narcissist’s endeavors or achievements that you genuinely admire. The narcissist may tolerate insincere flattery but deep down they lack good self esteem and hence, they tend to get hurt. Therefore, the more credible you can be, the better it is. A narcissist tends to be arrogant. He is convinced that other people are or they should be envious of him. So, praising a narcissist can really help you get your work done but be very cautious in selecting your words while talking to a narcissist.

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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