Here is a quote – When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.
—Dale Carnegie
Each one of us has his or her peculiar ways of reacting to things. While some of us prefer keeping our emotions to ourselves, others stay true to their emotions and express them clearly. Rather than letting their emotions take control of them, such people control their emotions and guide them wherever they desire. They understand that humans experience a plethora of positive, negative, blissful and distressing emotions. They don’t hide any of these emotions; instead, their emotions reflect fully in the way they behave. They’ve got the perfect balance and control over their emotions.
On a roller-coaster of a bevy of emotional states every day, we should learn to accept our feelings without being too judgmental about them. A newbie will never learn how to control a vehicle unless they accelerate to a level that requires control. Similarly, to gain emotional balance, we should allow emotions to show up first. Unless we allow free rein to our emotions, we cannot learn how to use them wisely. Sigmund Freud emphasizes the need for expressing emotions in a balanced way as he says, ‘Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.’Thus, be expressive with your emotions, lest they show up in awkward and destructive ways.
Six ‘classic’ emotions that crave expression
Conventional scientific knowledge does not recognize any emotions beyond happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, anger, and sadness – each of which may vary in degree from time to time. These emotions need to be checked just to ensure that a surfeit of any of these emotions should not suppress the others. If they do so, one particular emotion will become a permanent part of our persona, which undoubtedly is a flaw. These emotions call for balanced expression so that we express all emotions the way we feel them.
Aiming to challenge the classic theory of six emotions, folks at the Institute of Neuroscience and Psychology at the University of Glasgow34 proved that if we take facial expressions into consideration, only four prominent emotions exist. They utilized several computer-generated facial animations to put both anger and disgust, and surprise and fear, in the same categories. Well, moving beyond their findings, we do need to express all emotions – be they four, six or more – in a balanced way.
Emotional balance – from avoidance to acceptance
Why do we need to achieve emotional balance? Most people are reluctant to experience their feelings as naturally as others do. They suppress or avoid emotions to ensure that others don’t get the slightest idea of how they feel about a particular person, thing or occurrence. On the other hand, some people overdo it to the extent that their feelings become all-consuming, thereby developing an attachment to their feelings. We cannot do without finding the middle ground where these extremes converge to create the perfect equilibrium. We should allow ourselves to accept our feelings without judging them since avoiding them will cause further problems.
Don’t overdo or suppress emotions; balance them instead
It’s always advisable not to fight your emotions. When you suppress or overdo your emotions, they come out forcibly at the most inopportune time. Similarly, instead of being at the mercy of your emotions, control and use them to your advantage. Gather all your emotions and release only that much of it that doesn’t overpower your intellect.
Oscar Wilde, the renowned Irish novelist, playwright, poet, and essayist, says, ‘I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.’ What he goes on to establish is the fact that just as we control our words and actions, we should have a similar sort of control over our emotions. Such control helps us gain the much-needed emotional balance.
