It is very difficult to overcome shame which is widely regarded as one of the hardest emotions. When you are experiencing shame, you not only have to deal with the internal feelings but also face the arduous task of meeting people again. Here are some ways to deal with shame.
Find out the cause
You must be able to identify the main cause in order to start the healing process. Try to make a list of all possible causes of the shame that you are experiencing. You need to address these causes individually for your own benefit. If you think that you get behind these causes at one go then it will be a big mistake. Tacking all these issues in one instance will be highly complex. When you deal with the causes individually, it will gradually prepare you to face the real world again.
Identify the person
The person who is making you feel ashamed should be identified right away. Ask yourself whether the cause is internal or someone else is making you feel ashamed. You must understand the role that you are playing in the whole episode. It is time to let go of that guilt and blame the person who is responsible for all this. It will be difficult, no doubt, to release the guilt but unless that is done you cannot prepare yourself to meet the people who actually love you and care for you.
Examine the issue
You need to examine all the issues without taking your shame into account. There is no place for emotions in such delicate matters. You need to remove all emotions so that you can have a clear understanding of the situation. Now is the time to formulate a plan so that you can move forward in your life. Many studies have proved, beyond doubt, that when you are considering the cause of your shame, emotions can upset all equations. So be strong and determined, shun all negative thoughts, carefully examine the issue and get on with your life.
Speak to someone
The most important step when you are dealing with shame is to talk to somebody whom you can trust. It is very natural to feel at this moment that you do not have any well-wishers left and all are your natural enemies. But the reality is always different. There will be someone with whom you can share your thoughts and release the burden created inside you by this deep feeling of shame. He/she will probably tell you that the situation is not your doing and that you have already made amends for anything that you may have done. Listen to him/her and learn to take the positives out of such discussions.
Bring back that confidence
The final step would be to get back the much needed confidence in that area of life which brought you the much hated ‘shame’. You must try out new things that will make you feel good about the world around you. You must forgive yourself for any of your wrong actions and make a determined effort to move forward in your life. Once you start your fresh journey there will be a feeling that the old confidence is gradually coming back. When it does, you will know that you are on the right track.
