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Guide to deal with narcissist and jealous coworkers and workplace anxieties

The Bad Selfishness

Dealing with narcissist and jealous coworkers is nothing uncommon but if you know the tactics, you emerge the winner. These coworkers create enough anxieties and stress that would impact your productivity. The guide helps you with effective tips to deal with them and other workplace anxieties.

Narcissism ought to be a mental health disorder. The only reason most of us don’t consider it one is because it does more harm to the people around the narcissist than the narcissist himself. This tendency might affect anyone and does especially more damage when one faces a narcissist at work, as there it is necessary that we communicate and work as a team. Most of us, at one time or another, have to deal with a narcissist coworker.  In this article, we have written a few tips on how you can do that.

Every employee might have his/her own experience with narcissistic people. When working together as a team, the presence of narcissistic workers not only affects their colleagues, but also ruins the organization’s performance. Although, it’s quite annoying to move along with narcissistic employees, handling them rightly could help you to create wonders at your workplace.

1. Simply ignore


Ignorance works very well with narcissistic people, especially at the workplace. When such self-centered people keep praising their own traits and performances, don’t control yourselves to listen to them till the end of their talks. Instead, simply tell them that you are about to take files from another desk or any other reason that suits your circumstances. Make sure that the reason you tell them needs immediate attention so that you can get away from their discussion. However, you must voluntarily come forward to describe your reasons; else, narcissistic people will take advantage of it because they might know that you are listening. Once you have mentioned your reason, just ignore their further talks and move on immediately.

2. Leave the place

Whenever a narcissistic coworker boasts about himself/herself, your presence near him/her is the reason for your troubles. So, if a narcissistic employee starts his/her charismatic talks, find yourselves a good excuse to quit the place. Literally, you could find a number of reasons at the workplace to escape away from narcissistic people. You may mention them that you are very hungry, and amble towards the canteen; or you let them know that your boss had called you for the meeting. Of course, you have to lie sometimes to avoid getting trapped with narcissistic people. Once you have excused yourselves that you have an urgent job in some other place, try to stay out of sight from the narcissistic people. Else, they may learn your intention and consider you as their worst coworker.

3. Get back to work

Get back to work

When you find it hard to cope up with a narcissistic employee, realize that you are actually missing your work. What else could be a suitable reason to ignore narcissistic people at the workplace. Nobody could stop you if you mention this reason. That’s why it’s one of the best ways to deal with narcissistic people at the workplace. If they continue their boastful talks, don’t hesitate to remind them about their work too. It might bring them into reality and divert their attention back to work. If there are many people involved in the discussion, let the group know that the boss is about to arrive at their desk as if you have witnessed your boss few moments back. Literally, one could use number of reasons to get back to work.

4. Change the topic

Diverting the subject of discussion is quite useful when you cannot avert narcissistic people. You may be able to use the ignorance technique only at few instances. As you will face such people many times at your workplace, you may not be able to avoid them every time. When narcissistic people boast about their achievements and favorable deeds, take part in the discussion and change the topic cleverly. Initially, blend with their conversation and then take the discussion to some other healthy subjects in a progressive manner. Make sure that the narcissistic people don’t recognize your witty intentions. When the subject of discussion is enjoyable for everyone, obviously, narcissistic people won’t restart their boastful talks, at least in the current discussion. Though it’s a temporary solution, you cannot make the narcissistic people change; they can change their attitude, only by themselves.

5. Appreciate the positive traits

Appreciate the positive traits

As every human being possesses both positive and negative qualities in him/her, narcissistic coworkers at the workplace too will have some good qualities. Try to identify them and appreciate for the same. Whenever you look your difficult circumstances from a positive perspective, you will have number of solutions to a problem. Finding a single solution wouldn’t be a tougher task. You mustn’t expect the narcissistic people to change their attitude; instead, change your attitude towards them. That’s one of the best ways to deal with narcissistic coworkers. In fact, when you approach them with a positive attitude, your actions will inspire them to become positive. As time goes by, narcissism might disappear from their character as a result of positivity.

However, every successful change takes its own time. Any workplace will become delightful amidst of narcissistic people, if you know how to deal them rightly. Take a break away from your workplace, at least once in a while to let you relax yourselves. Narcissist people tend to create a stressful environment at workplace. To best work in such environment, it is necessary you keep control over your anxiety and give your work your best shot.

How to deal with a jealous coworker

How to deal with a jealous coworker

Jealousy can be quite frustrating when you meet with it among your own colleagues. Work relationships and team spirit can be affected and all your success and achievements can feel worthless when you have to share it with jealous colleagues. Here are some ways to handle the situation efficiently.

Find the reason

Many instances of jealousy stem from the fact that the person involved is very guarded and unwilling to share the secrets of his/her continual success. Remember that sharing your success stories is not mandatory when you are in a work environment. However, if you have been finding quite a few jealous colleagues who are trying to put you down or steal the secrets of your success, you need to assess your behavior and find the need to interact more with your colleagues. It does not hurt to share a few tips with your colleagues which they too can imbibe and use it for becoming successful. Remember that everyone who follows the same success secret may not be as successful as you. Much depends on dedication, will power and above all luck.

Help your jealous co worker

Help your jealous co worker

Sometimes jealousy can be the result of lack of success in one’s life in spite of trying hard. If you have a coworker who has trodden through difficult roads and have still not found success, make sure that you do not ignore him/her or make fun of him/her. Instead, take things into your hand and do your best to help the coworker correct his mistakes and assess where he has gone wrong. Try to analyse his work and see what improvements need to be made. You can suggest few methods by which your coworker can go about it and improve his output. Such an approach will help him change his attitude towards you and start respecting you for your help and support. You will have a very loyal coworker and friend if he goes on to achieve success after you have guided him through the right path. There is no scope for jealousy here as the relationship is based on respect and help.

Importance of building relationships

Building good relationships with colleagues is an important part of staying and working in a team. It is when you do not enjoy good work relationship with your colleagues and team members that jealousy seeps in. Ensure that you share the success equally among the team members who too have put in their hard work for the success you enjoy now. Be pleasant and condescending to their demands and needs. Do not throw your weight around if you are in a higher position than them. These are things that can cause jealousy and ill will among colleagues. Always be pleasant and find time to chat and ask personal questions once in a while. They will appreciate you for the politeness and feel more connected to you, rather than feeling jealous about your achievements. When you are humble and down to earth, your colleagues will be beyond jealousy and will be pleasant and open towards you.

Report to the concerned authorities

Report to the concerned authorities

Coworkers who are jealous can at times affect your work output and team functioning. If this is happening and nothing seems to work, it is important that you report the matter to the higher authorities. Jealousy that curtails your work relation and output cannot be tolerated or ignored and action must be taken against the said employee if he/she is spreading stories to taint your name as well. Ensure that you are discreet about it and approach the authorities only after careful thought. The jealous person can become even more non cooperative after a complaint against him. Make it look as if the complaint has been forwarded by someone else and not you to keep the remorse minimal.

Do not take things personally

At times, the harder you try, the more jealous the person can get. No amount of corrective measures can change the person’s attitude towards you. If you have such coworker, there could be a mental problem lingering underneath. He/she could have hereditary mental disease that needs psychiatric evaluation. Such people will be jealous and difficult to deal with not just towards you, but with everyone. They can be a real pain in the neck. You can either talk to the person privately and make him/her understand the need for counselling and treatment. In such cases, learn to ignore the jealousy and try not to be affected by it as well, as the person does not have any control over his actions.

How to deal with the anxiety at the workplace

Working professionals worry a lot about project deadlines, co-worker relations, top of all, their boss’ feedback and reactions. It is a completely natural aspect of life, but very upsetting at the same time. Read the article to find out how you can deal effectively with anxiety at the workplace.

1. Feelings are the root cause


Feelings usually play a vital role in decision-making. It is you who can control what is within your realm. Try to relieve all the negative energies out by indulging in positive possibilities. Avoid struggling and re-struggling over something that is unachievable. Instead, utilize the building up anxiety to build your career forward. Try to suppress and accumulate your anxiety level in order to turn yourself into a better, happier and productive person. Engage in activity to calm you and take short breaks to relax your mind and the running feeling of anxiety. Stay away from problem, which you cannot help in solving, that will raise your anxiety level. Approach someone who you think can handle the situation better.

2. Face your anxiety

Anxiety levels increase when certain goals set by others are unachievable. As we are so used to having set our goals and accomplishing them according to our own convenience, when at work we are made to achieve goals set by others. There are at times when you just can’t get out of the situation, it’s like being stuck in between the deep blue sea and a shark, you need to take the plunge anyway. In cases as such, anxiety level reaches its peak point. In such situation, first communicate with yourself and try to relax your mind and work out a solution to deal with it effectively. Facing your anxiety will help you in learning more about yourself and the choices you make.

3. It is time to get a hold of your creativeness

hold of your creativeness

Stop following your usual boring patterns of daily life, try out something new and get a little crazy. This way you will feel relaxed and will not be worked up with something new coming your way. Trying out something new is just a way of preparing yourself for any and every kind of challenges in life. Do not think of changing yourself completely, only try to work around those spheres in your life, which build up your anxiety level. Start being creative while dealing with your anxiety. This way, you will remain focused and seek new methods of relieving the built-up stress. If it helps, list down your creative ideas and put them to practice.

4. Analyse your creative ideas

Once you have put down in writing your creative ideas or have made up your mind over it, put it to practice and see how it helps you. Try to draw a mind map of certain people’s reactions before you apply your creative ideas. Do not try to overdo as it may fall back to you causing undue stress. Through your creative ways, try to interact with more and more workers and help sought out any problems that you face. Keep a watchful note of what your emotional states are and how they tend to fluctuate while dealing with any of your projects. This way you can maintain control over your emotional state and improve your patience level. Do not remain serious at all times. Try to find light moments while working, where you can share a joke and have a short laugh. Remember, laughter is the best medicine of cure. Apply it in your day-to-day life to reduce your anxiety level.

5. Observe everyday

try out new skills

Keep encouraging yourself to try out new skills and tackle problems creatively, rather than sulking about them all the time. Produce long lasting behavioral patterns, which will help you, ease out the anxiety you feel while working. Once you have yourself adapted to the new behavioral patterns, it will become easier to be attached with these new habits and realize how much they help you in lowering down your anxiety levels. Observe the reactions of yourself and others while trying out your new ways of dealing with anxiety. This way you will understand not only what you have been lacking and the areas you need to work on, but also what people expect from you and how you can control the situation around you effectively.

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