A human being can turn moody anytime. And if the moody person is your loved one, it is often difficult to figure out a way to deal with him/her. This is especially true if you are a woman and the moody man in your life is your husband/brother/father/boyfriend. Many women might find it extremely difficult to deal with a moody man and may not know what exactly to do and avoid making matters worse. Here are some great suggestions to deal with moodiness and increase your love and understanding.
Understand the cause to deal with a moody man
When your man is moody, the first thing you must do is approach him and gently ask him what exactly the problem is? Most men turn aloof and even angry when they have problems and may not want to talk immediately. This is the cause of moodiness. However, it is your duty as a partner to make him feel comfortable and do your bit in asking him about the day and what went wrong. Let him decide as to whether he wants to talk or not. You have made it clear that you are willing to help. Though he may not open up immediately, after some time, he might want to talk and let you know the reason behind the moodiness. Make sure that you are ready and willing to listen when he talks. Once you know what has caused the moodiness, things become easy to deal with.
Sometimes a moody man requires extra coaxing and care from the spouse or partner to deal with the moodiness. He may not answer to your repeated questions about what went wrong and may even ask you to leave him alone. If he gets angry or refuses to speak to you, do not feel bad or retort as this can only make matters worse. Be gentle and tell him that you are there to help, whatever situation he is going through and he can choose when he wants to talk to you.
This will surely make him feel much better and the fact that there is someone to care for him and help him in crisis situations will help him get over the moodiness and approach you with pleasantness. However, do not expect this from all moody men. Some men just want to be left alone and frequent interference will only anger them.
Give him space
After analyzing the personality of your man, you must decide whether to confront him with your frequent questions or just leave him alone when he is moody. A huge percentage of moody men would like to be just left alone so that they can find their own solutions and deal with their moodiness before getting back to life. Give your man enough space and time to sort it out and then he will come back to you with a pleasant smile after he has dealt with the moodiness.
Isolation is a way of dealing with negative emotions and most men practice this to perfection. Allow him an hour or two to relax and calm down and get back to their normal self. If a moody man has not come out of his moodiness for several hours or for days on end, then you need to decide as to whether you want to approach him again and have a serious talk with him. It could be something serious and he might be finding it difficult to open up.
Lend an ear
Being a good listener is a prerequisite for dealing with moody men. When moody men want to talk about their problems and feelings, they want someone who can listen rather than talk and offer suggestions. Ensure that you do not irritate him by talking in between and offering suggestions. Let him finish talking and then you can talk and offer advice if you want. Be a good listener more than an adviser in such cases. Men generally do not like women offering advice and hence you must curtail the itch to give suggestions at this time. Once he has finished talking, you may ask him what he wants. If he expects you to suggest a solution, you might want to give a few suggestions.
Support and counseling
Sometimes a moody man can have something more serious than moodiness. Men who are depressed too can show moodiness and anger and in such cases, counseling and psychiatric assistance are required. If the moodiness persists and has been going on for several weeks or months, assess the situation and offer help in the form of counseling. A moody man might get irritated with this suggestion. But, as his partner, you must gently coax him to see a counselor and do what you can in order to bring him out of this condition.
But, don’t take things very seriously
A moody man can say all bad things when he is angry or upset. However, this does not mean he does not love you or thinks bad about you. It is just that he is not feeling well about something and has taken out his frustration on someone. You need not feel guilty for spoiling his mood. Be calm and do not take his words personally. Try to remain normal as you are not the cause of his bad mood. Do not start an argument at this time as it can make the situation worse.
Consider your options
You don’t need to feel uncomfortable by staying around someone who always seems to dictate the emotional atmosphere just because you are emotionally attached to him. It is important that you realize that he is a dictator, but what is more important is that he should also be made aware of this fact. If you are suffering from his moodiness despite your patience, advice, empathy, and general attention giving and he doesn’t even seem to bother about it, consider carefully, do you really need this person in your life? Any relationship is a give-and-take one, but not in the sense that you always have to give and the other person always has to take. A relationship is reciprocal, whatever you give, eventually comes back to you.
Don’t reward his moodiness
Always remember that your moody man is certainly not going to change if he is being rewarded for their attitude. It has always been observed that a moody person gets preferential treatment because of their stubborn attitude which in turn encourages them to remain so. If you really want to smooth things over, you need to check all those special allowances which you have been giving your moody man. Now is the time to decide not to be unduly influenced. Once you stop giving him the attention which he used to get earlier, he is certainly going to change their attitude.
Don’t play his games
Either knowingly or unknowingly, you must be conferring benefits and incentives to your moody man. First of all, understand the fact that all behavior is purposeful. Try to identify what this person is getting from acting this way. The behavior which is visible from the outside may be just a bigger share of the attention pie. Or it may be to have control over the others. Or is it just a way of getting his work done.
To make the point clear, let us discuss the case of a middle-aged mother. Whenever her daughter was going away from her, she would always start feeling low. The daughter always felt short of options and so, she would always have to take her mother with her. This type of behavior should never be encouraged. You may find it very difficult to take such decisions in the beginning, but later everything will become normal.
To deal with a moody man, remember that you will first have to understand the cause behind his behavior. Next, you will either need to be patient and pray that this is just a phase. Or you will need to have a frank conversation about this to him. If nothing works, ponder over whether you really need to be with such an individual. It is sometimes better to be safe than sorry.