Here is a quote – Know then thyself, presume not God to scan.
—Alexander Pope
Is it acceptable for anyone to have weaknesses? Well, yes, it is if we consider the fact that none of us are perfect. The only imperfection, which is irreparable to a certain extent, is our denial of this fact – something that is ingrained in the psyche of most human beings.
Just as we think of ourselves as discerning, intelligent and wise, others around us also have a similar sort of mindset. When we try to hide our frailties, the way we do it is not natural at all; instead, it makes us superficial or pretentious in our appearance and approach. None of us will like to be caught red-handed; at times, when someone figures it out, we have no other option than to become hyper-aggressive or defensive. Well, it’s the last nail in the coffin, mind you! Up to this moment, we might have been trying to make people believe in capabilities that we never had. Once our frailties come to the fore, we become even more unnatural and unacceptable to others, which further forces us to prove our point – in a right way though. Therefore, won’t it be sensible to identify those weaknesses and accept them before someone else points these out?
Fundamental Attribution Error – A likely reason for denying our weaknesses
Fundamental Attribution Error44 never focuses on revealing our mistakes or weaknesses. Instead, it refers to bias in explaining how others react to different situations or people. You also need to understand Self-serving Bias, which is the fiercest or unbalanced sort of attribution bias. Self-serving Bias refers to our tendency to attribute our successes to our strengths or innate capabilities and our failures to external factors. While relating external factors to the causes of our failure, we are too adamant to accept our weaknesses.
Rather than introspecting and trying to find out the root cause, we keep thinking about other factors that might have caused a particular failure. We cling on to even the slightest clue that leans towards an external factor, without even considering a slew of other reasons that highlight our weaknesses as responsible for that failure. We deny our weaknesses because we refuse to take responsibility for failures.
Let me ask this: Is this not something that might cause irreparable harm to our morality and values? Some of us might think it is self-esteem maintenance; however, for any level-headed individual, such behavior is nothing less than a self-conceiting demeanor, from which we must distance ourselves to be on the right track.
Accepting our weaknesses makes us stronger
Each one of us is unhappy about one weakness or the other – at both professional and personal fronts. We are unhappy about so many things and qualities in us that sometimes it becomes humanly impossible to find a way out of the predicament. Before we try to work on eliminating them, we should develop the self-belief that we can change for the better.
Agreed that change is difficult; nonetheless, how will we achieve our life purpose if we are not ready to face challenges? Instead of eliminating weaknesses, won’t it be a better option to embrace our weaknesses? Once you take the giant leap to accept your weaknesses, the whole process of eliminating them becomes easier.
Some common weaknesses typify individuals into different classes, which include inflexible, inconsistent, stubborn, short-tempered, laid-back, casual, judgmental, glutton, undignified, or sometimes immoral as well. You need to dig deep to unearth those negative qualities in you that act as a stumbling block to your passion to move ahead and realize your goal of bringing about a change. Before circumstances contrive to force a change on you, it’s better to accept your weakness.
Be willing to change
Each one of us – unless he or she is the perfect human being – dislikes some part of his or her personality. Some of us might not accept it, which aggravates the problem still further. Instead of being in constant throes of shame, regret or self-hate, consider the other option available: Transform your character and life once and for all. Since humans are supposed to be imperfect, you needn’t despise your existence. Come on, have some faith in your capabilities and display willingness to change!
Ask yourself, how would you respond to someone who has the same flaw you just discovered in yourself? If you are unable to accept a specific weakness in others, you should understand that it’s the same for others as well vis-à-vis you. If you don’t plan to change for others, do it for yourself at least; in doing so, you will become far more confident than you were earlier. It’s imperative to develop within us the urge to change. Unless you are ready for it, you cannot commit yourself wholly to anything that you set towards realizing that change in you. Mind, no half-hearted measures here!
