How to deal with grief and loss

The loss of someone close to your heart is overwhelming, requiring elongated time for the feel to subside. The grief can dominate beyond other aspects of life, making it difficult to cope up even with the usual chores. Here are few tips that can help you deal with grief and loss.

Express your feelings and emotions

Acknowledge your pain and sorrow instead of suppressing it. Accept the fact as it comes and avoid sad feelings which can prolong the grieving process. If the grief remains unresolved, you can also experience depression and other health problems. If you feel like crying, cry. Take time out in solitude, if you need to be alone sometimes, but do not make it habitual.

Let the feelings come naturally. You should not get embarrassed or judgmental in expressing them. Refrain from using destructive methods like alcohol consumption and drugs to restrict your emotions. False suppression of emotions can be damaging. Additionally, do not allow emotions to control you for the bad. Do not let others control your emotions.

Get support and care from others

An important factor in the healing process is finding support around you. By sharing the loss, your grief appears less burdening. Do not confine in solitude. Find a worthy associate (relative, friend, etc.) with whom you can share your emotions. Even though you have spent all your life being strong and self sufficient, take help and advice from others who have the experience of life. Whether it is the funeral ritual or the post death house re orientation, ask people to help you in whatever way seems feasible. On many occasions, the religious traditions bring solace and peace for you.

Your mind and body are connected. Emotional upset can be taxing on your body too. Get enough sleep to counter stress and fatigue. Refrain from punishing yourself by starving. Eat healthy food and exercise. Sometimes, you may feel out of mind and commit mistakes. Forgive yourself and do not expect too much in this disturbed state of affairs. Even though the first shock seem to go away, continue being liberal to yourself as recovery is a time taking process.

 

Give dimension to your feelings

One of the most effective tools to combat overwhelming emotions is to give them a dimension. You can start keeping a journal or a scrapbook. You may also want to write a letter to the person (you have lost) expressing all you wanted to. Create an image gallery endorsing all the sweet memories. Relish and relive the memories by browsing through the gallery when you feel like.

Get involved in a cause or association which was important to the person. This will keep you engaged and divert your attention to do better jobs. Do something creative and constructive instead of indulging in grief and pain. Keeping a diary of your feelings and memories can be relaxing. If you do not want to write, you can draw images or have other visual reminders.

Shift priorities in life

Although the loss may seem impossible to compensate, try finding happiness and content in the versatility of life. When your mind is focused on some other facet, you experience less of pain and grief. Join a support group (may be an NGO) and contribute for its betterment. You can find practical advice and encouragement in such a group of diverse people.

Maintain the normal lifestyle to have security and attachment with others around you. Avoid making major lifestyle changes like change of place or job. If you wish to do so, make the process gradual to reduce its impact on your mind. Since you have suffered a huge loss, you will need time to adjust to that change in your life first.

Obtain professional help

Even though you have been attempting hard to resist grieving, you may find it uncontrollable. Symptoms like inability to perform the day to day activities, feeling of blame for you, finding reliance difficult, etc. can indicate concern. Professional help can assist in controlling grief from emerging as life threatening health problems (sometimes, suicide). Sometimes, grief does not emerge on the surface making it hard to treat. Look out for the obstacles which include marital or family discord, low confidence, worry about money, refraining to accept the loss and ongoing grief over past bereavement.

If you experience unmanageable grief and pain, try consulting a therapist. Appropriate counseling can be helpful. One of the approaches for treating grief uses two tools: one is ‘loss-oriented’ and the other is ‘restoration oriented’. This approach recommends individuals to alternate their efforts when dealing with grief. One aspect points to directly working on the loss ( or confronting). The other points to taking an appropriate break from (or avoiding) the process. Many forms of support are available depending on individual requirements.

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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