Don’t fall into the trap of emotional turmoil of manipulators

Most of us come across situations when the others try to control our emotions, perception or behavior and take an advantage for their own benefit. In one such situation, you fail to realize the real motive. The person controls you psychologically and you get into the trap. This emotional manipulation sometimes costs you a lot when you make some important decisions under the influence of other person and realize it later when it is too late. Here are a few signs that the person is trying to manipulate you.

Love bombing

 Love bombing

When a relationships sounds too good to be true you must be aware. They shower love, praise, appreciation, compliments and affection on you. You feel as if you are living your dream where everything seems perfect. They give you no reasons to complain. You simply find no faults in them. Even if something goes wrong, they may start crying or feeling sorry. You may even become the victim of intense sex and get the feeling of a fairy tale love.

Sporadic reinforcement

 gift 23

It is the result when the relationship actually started off with love bombing and all of a sudden you start feeling neglected. You get appreciation, gifts and praise, but only rarely. You feel as if you are losing your grip or they have someone else in their life. The moment you make up your mind to move on, you get another gift from them. You find it difficult to make up your mind. In one such situation, they try to get control over you. To your amazement in most cases, it works. You get even closer to them.

Negative reinforcement

 Businesswoman puppeteer

After sporadic reinforcement, people mostly succeed in controlling their victims. When you fight back or demand an explanation, they may stop behaving in the same manner. The reason is that they actually get full control over you now, so they say goodbye to the sporadic reinforcement. They do not need it any more.

Indirect ways to show aggression


They may not abuse you right on your face. They do not even use an aggressive tone of voice or say bad things to you. They choose to belittle you in many different ways. They may give you an advice; suggest a solution to your problems or offer help. You may have a feeling that these people always try to help you but the truth is bitter.

Intention to demean you

Jealousy between partners

Let us take a romantic relationship for consideration. The person often praises someone else and loves to see you in pain. He/she may flirt with someone else in front of you or may even try to talk about his/her love affairs he/she had in past. The intention is to hurt you and make you feel jealous. He/she always thinks of new ways to make your feel bad about yourself. The way someone tries to prove that he/she is faithful in a relationship; this person tries to do the opposite and can go to any extreme to do that.

They deny their commitments


Manipulators have many different faces and in the same manner, they may use many different ways to get things done. The person may make a commitment and later deny in a way that you start doubting your own perception. When you try hard to make them aware of their promise, they make you feel guilty. They may use superficial sympathy and burst into crocodile tears. You end up trusting them eventually and even doubt whether you heard right.

You cannot trust smiling faces that appear confident and powerful. Manipulative people always have self-serving bias and they hardly care for the feelings of the other person. They have a motive to seek out people who validate them and make them feel even superior.

Dr Prem Jagyasi (c)

Dr Prem is an award winning strategic leader, renowned author, publisher and highly acclaimed global speaker. Aside from publishing a bevy of life improvement guides, Dr Prem runs a network of 50 niche websites that attracts millions of readers across the globe. Thus far, Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries, addressed numerous international conferences and offered his expert training and consultancy services to more than 150 international organizations. He also owns and leads a web services and technology business, supervised and managed by his eminent team. Dr Prem further takes great delight in travel photography.

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