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Sexual Regret – How Men and Women Feel Sorry About Sex

Oh my God! What have I done? Why wasn’t I satisfied? Did I do it right? Was I really ready to do it? When it comes to post-sex regret, these are the type of questions people ask themselves. When people in North America were asked to describe a memorable and sad regret in lives, a survey found that the most common scruple was sexual repression. Led by Professor Martie Haselton, a team of psychologists conducted the largest and most comprehensive study till date on sexual regret.

The research authors were very interested to know whether men and women experienced different sexual regrets, which shows the fundamental contrasts between romantic experiences for both the sexes. The research was based on the theory that sexual drives have evolved to pass on our genes to the generations of the future. Human brains evolved to survive in the old times and the modern day sex strategy is a travesty of that passion. Ancient strategies do not have the same reproductive advantages in the modern world.  Evolutionary theory thus predicts that women will create sexual strategy for men, emphasizing on quality. A unique aspect of this study deals with problem of people not being honest.

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Asking what he despises in romantic career is an original, accurate way of opening our sex lives for treatment. The authors predict that women significantly outnumbering men regret bad or foolish sexual actions. Women are likely than men to regret the primary sexual experience or losing their virginity. While women are grieved at losing virginity early and premarital sex, men have no such compunctions.

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The foremost reason in women’s regret lists: Lost her virginity to ‘wrong’ man – 24%. Secondly: ‘Cheated on past or present partner’. Thirdly:  ‘Relationship went ”too fast’.’ Sex with lack of commitment, predicted using evolutionary theory, was evident even before the study.

Men’s ”top five” list: sexual laments are inaction regrets including missing a casual sex chance, not having sex two weeks into a relationship; holding on to irritating relationships,  missing, and wasting time money and energy pursuing.

In ‘Sexual Regret: Evidence for Evolved Sex Differences’, both genders reported similar percentages of casual, forgettable sex. Women had much more intensely felt regrets and grief. More of promiscuous, stronger celibacy regrets than women, specifically regrets for failure to gain an opportunity for sex.

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Lesbian and bisexual women had much less regret. Lesbian and bisexual women are more like men.

The authors Andrew Galperin, Martie Haselton, David Frederick, Joshua Poore, William von Hippel, David Buss and Gian Gonzaga argue that this scheme of contrition could be solved by the fact that women having sex with other women are not worried about pregnancy.

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