It is completely normal for kids to lose their cool at times when they have a feeling of insecurity or feel that no one understands them. They may also react in this manner when they are unfairly treated, falsely accused or are misunderstood. When kids get angry parents feel uncomfortable and most of the times react back inappropriately. It is important that you address the problem and try to handle it diplomatically.
Differentiate Between Feelings and Behavior
Make your kids understand the fact that anger may make them aware of their problems but can never solve them. Anger is an indication that something is not right, may be you need to change your inner self and make some adjustments or address some issues in the external world. Parents must discuss the problem and tell their kids that they cannot handle a situation when they are angry.
Teach then to identify early signs of anger
Kids are not able to identify the early signs of anger and lose control over their behavior. You must teach your kids how to identify the early signs of anger so that they think rationally. When kids get angry they pout, roll their eyes around, squint their eyes and use intense speech or behavior. Recognize these signs and make your kids aware of them so that they can differentiate. Once they are able to recognize the cues of anger and frustration they can learn to choose right actions.
You can’t control emotions
Anger is a powerful emotion and you certainly can’t control it. You do not even have to try to do that. It is important that kids control their behavior instead of controlling their emotions. Psychologist believe that if an emotions is controlled it may instigate negativity and turn you into a pessimist eventually. Anger is not the real problem but the way kids react back can be problematic. Ask your kids to change the behavior that follows anger.
Keep your emotions in control
You may not be able to control your kids’ emotions but you certainly can control your own emotions. Kids always observe the behavior of their elders and learn the same behavior patterns. If your kids see you shouting and yelling when you get angry, they will react back in the similar manner and you can’t blame them for that. Parents must learn to control their own anger before trying to control the behavior of their kids. Set good examples for your kids to follow.
Make them aware of the consequences
Kids usually try to control the behavior of their parents. Make them aware that bad behavior would not make any difference. Try to discuss things in a calm and quite manner. Tell them that their behavior is wrong and you do not appreciate it. Parents must make it clear that rules don’t change, come what may. It keeps your kids from behaving badly since they know it hardly matters.
Don’t get into an argument
Even when adults get angry it is not beneficial to talk to them since it does not serve the purpose. Similar is the case with kids. Parents must not try to talk over an issue when kids are in an angry mood. Wait until they calm down and are ready to listen to you.
You should stay there with your kids when they are upset. Try to talk about something else or divert their attention and wait for the right time to discuss your reasons. Do not leave them alone or ask them to stay in their room when they are in a bad mood.