Learned helplessness or the habit to keep your kids from getting new experiences in life may prove to be destructive. Parents usually get so caught up in the moment that they fail to realize that they are responsible for the physical, mental, spiritual and psychological growth of their kids. You should never be over-protective or too lenient with your kids as a balance of both is necessary to turn them into successful and confident human beings.
Lack of belief in their abilities
No one knows the strengths and weaknesses of your kids but you. It is important that you allow them to do things that they are capable to do as it makes them confident. When kids do not get a chance to prove their ability, they start doubting themselves and the result is low level of confidence and dependence. You certainly would not want your kids to have an inferiority complex that keeps killing them deep down inside.
Not sharing your past mistakes
Parents often hesitate to share their past mistakes with their kids. It is good if your kids learn from their mistakes but when you share your own experiences with them, they can relate to you. There is nothing better than learning from the experiences of your loved ones. They may even find it easier to share their troubles with you and seek your advice to find a way out which strengthens the bond.
You do not follow what you preach
You must set good examples for your kids to follow since kids really observe and follow the behavior patterns of their elders. If you tell them not to lie and they find you telling a lie they may start behaving in the same manner. The best method to teach them is to practice what you want them to learn.
Keeping them ignorant
Those parents who fulfill all the demands of their kids turn them into spoilt brats and motivate them to get dependent. Moreover, the demands of your kids keep increasing when they get everything very easily. Parents must not give in to all the demands of their kids and help their kids understand what should be their needs and requirements. Along with this, parents must let their kids go through hardships of life so that they get ready to face the challenges that life throws at them. Let them know that at times life gets nasty too.
Comparing and Interrupting
Parents often compare their kids with their siblings or friends to encourage them but it works the other way round. Kids lose faith in their abilities and develop a disliking for them. Learn to appreciate your kids for their achievements and help them overcome their weaknesses. Another bad habit is to interrupt your kids or finish what they start off. Sometimes parents even try to put words in their mouth. Let your kids speak uninterrupted as it helps them build a trust in you.
Kids seek the trust and guidance of their parents at each step. Parents often fail to relate with their kids in this concern and feel that their biggest responsibility is to fulfill their needs and requirements. On the other hand, kids express their feelings to get the love and support of their parents. No doubt, one must try hard to be a good provider to the family but it is more important to be there to support your kids. Be there when they are sad and give words to your feelings.
Nothing can motivate your kids more than the words of encouragements they get from you. Share your true feelings with them and let them know that they can always come to you.