Having a narcissistic boyfriend may lead you to depression because you will always keep longing for their attention and will never get it. The following are a few ways which will help you deal with a narcissistic boyfriend.
Read the signs
The first step to dealing with a narcissistic boyfriend is to first make sure that your suspicion is right. You can find a solution to it only when you are sure of what the problem is and how deep does it run. Notice the behavior of your partner; do not be very critical but observe him carefully. If you see that your achievements are being ignored by him while he keeps harping about his own talents, then itâs time to take some action. Try to understand what makes them behave this way; it could be their way of countering their inferiority complex or low self esteem which makes them brag. Be kind and gracious towards your partner because most of the time they do not realize what they are doing. Observing him carefully will render you capable of finding a solution to it.
This is the foremost step that if you take, will help you in saving your relationship. You are obviously distraught and hurt that your partner is not paying attention to you; hence do not try to hide it. Donât be afraid to say what you want, else your partner will never realize that they are the cause of your problem. It will further irritate and annoy them to find you in the same bad mood always and this will trigger extreme reactions. You do not have to very rude and straight forward in your compliant, rather try to be a little diplomatic. Always use a gentle polite tone and never be accusatory, else your partner will feel that you are making allegations against them. It is in your best interest that you keep expressing your feelings gradually than unloading the whole bulk on them when you canât take it any more. This will neither help your boyfriend nor you, and will bring your long relationship to a grinding halt.
Your partner is obsessed with himself and you feel that you have got a tough job at hand, but spare a thought for your boyfriend too. It is obvious that if you are finding it hard to stay by them, other people might detest him too. It then becomes your duty and responsibility to ensure that your boyfriend does not get boycotted socially, to stay with him as a friend. To be constantly thinking about themselves is not their choice but a mental state that they cannot come out of. Talk to them about this freely, without any bitter feelings and be patient, do not expect too much improvement early on. Help them to fathom the source behind this kind of behavior and try to cheer them up to keep their morale high. Take them to a counselor if necessary to make sure that the problem is treated in the best possible manner; do not leave it on your boyfriend to sort out this mess. You are in love with a person who is in love with himself more then you; it will hurt obviously, but try to look beyond this agony and things will start to look better soon.
Another aspect of dealing with a narcissistic boyfriend is to take care of yourself because you are fending for yourself out there. Your boyfriend is too busy in caring about himself and that leaves you all alone and without any source of love and care. You must learn how to cope up with this in a peaceful manner; nagging your boyfriend repeatedly will make the matters worse. You must be mature and curb down your demands to a certain extent and avoid arguing with them for the same problem again and again. Do not allow your feelings to drift away from them, which is probable in cases where you are devoid of any love and care. Take counseling and keep you mind stable or you may start suffering from low self esteem and fear of assertiveness which is common in such cases. You must realize that you cannot afford to fall into pieces in such a condition and therefore must keep hanging on until you feel that you are fighting for a lost cause.
Break up or take a short break
If you are extremely irritated and always remain in a temper because of a boyfriend who is obsessed with himself, it is wise to break up. If you feel that you cannot move on without this person and have to stick to him, then just take a small break in the relationship. It will allow you both to see where you stand and is an infinitely better option than arguing regularly. Take advice from close friends before taking this step and also talk to your partner about it. Be sure that it is mutual and none of you is just agreeing to it for the sake of the other. Do not be bitter about it and never gossip about your partnerâs shortcomings after you have broken up. Enjoy your life to the fullest and stay with your boyfriend just as a friend, because they certainly will need you.