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How to deal with cheap people

From office to family, our known surroundings are packed with cheap people. It is best to describe them as individuals who care little for emotions of others. Their insensitive behavior pretty much hurts everyone around. If the person is not making much difference to the way you live or act, then do ignore them. However, if they are getting to your nerves, then time has come that you learn a few ways of dealing with them.

Breathe deeply

Overtly spiritual as it may sound, yet deep breathing is something that really helps. There is hardly any dearth of cheap people around. It is their tendency to pass offensive remarks or make fun of things that may end up hurting others. However, before you charge at the person directly breaking his nose in the process, take some time to think and decide. There is no better way to deal with cheap people, just give it a thought! Are these people worth your time and precious energy? By answering a rude remark, you unconsciously get closer to the person making it. It is never good to share ranks with them. Hence, deal with the situation smartly. Avoid getting angry, take a deep breath and just overlook the comment. Apart from helping you vent the anger out, it also offers some peace of mind.

 

Make your resentments known

Cheap people can be dealt quiet effectively by speaking the stuff out in a manner that is both firm and yet smart. Keeping mum isn’t the only solution around. At times, you just as well need to speak out. There are hundreds of freaky people who refuse to stop behaving like a jerk especially when their attitude goes unnoticed by others. This is exactly where these cheap folks need to be taught a lesson.

Let us now try and explain the point with the help of a small example. Suppose there is a particular project you have been working for quiet sometime now, one that impressed your bosses and seniors. Now what if a co worker suddenly barges into the scene and takes the credit for all your hard work? Should you allow the person to get away with it? Of course not and especially when the person at the other end is an insensitive and heartless goon. Find smart ways of getting back on him. The best you can do is, ask puzzling questions about the project. It is quiet obvious that the guy will start stammering and fumbling for words. The boss is sure to pick up clues from this unnatural behavior.

 

Divert your attention

This is one of the best solutions when it comes to facing a cheap and insensitive guy outside your known territory, on the road or at the store. Since you don’t know the guy, there is little you can do to mend his ways. It is always better to ignore such people whenever you meet them outside. Keep your attention diverted to other things. In fact if you have a particularly annoying relative coming over, then this strategy is sure to work wonders. The home is usually packed with so many options to divert your attention. Consider switching your phone’s music system on or using the T.V as probable options. You should always remember that some people are jerks right since their birth. There is no point getting your stress levels high trying to teach them a lesson. Start ignoring them and utilize the effort and time in something more productive.

 

Use humor

You might consider this absurd, yet imagination and humor are two of the most important weapons in your battle against the cheap person. Simply go overboard with your reactions to make the person understand the insensitivity of his or her ways. Whenever a person throws a particularly humiliating remark, it automatically generates feelings of revenge in the person at the receiving end. Hence, the moment you can feel you anger levels rising, go ahead and do something really stupid which would have otherwise been unthinkable of. It needs to be borne in mind that doing so is not as easy as it is said. You have to pull yourself away from the feelings of anger. Switch to your humorous self and you can feel the anger oozing away in a matter of seconds. Imagine yourself throwing a cake on the cheap person’s face and you are sure to break into a smile. Things will get alright sooner than expected.

 

Look for mistakes on your part

Harsh as it may sound, yet more often than not, the reason behind a person’s anger has something to do with our own insensitivities. The person on the street may have misbehaved because you hurt him accidentally. On a similar note, your insulting a person within the common circle of friends might have turned the person hostile towards you.

Hence, whenever a person behaves rudely with you, before blaming him downright, try and look for possible loopholes within yourself. Had I said or done something to hurt the person? This is the first question that you should ask. Well, there are times when we tend to become so absorbed with ourselves that we simply overlook a person when he or she bumps into us. It is a common scenario at social gatherings or parties. However, with a little thinking, you can always overcome the problems.

 

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Author, Chartered Consultant, Personal Branding Expert & Global Trainer at DrPrem.com
Author of several life improving guide books – Dr Prem is an award winning strategic global leader, successful chartered consultant, personal branding expert and global trainer.  Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries to work with above 150 international organisations and to speak in global conferences. Dr Prem has published several guide books and numerous niche websites which have millions of reader across the globe.
Dr Prem Jagyasi
Dr Prem Jagyasi

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  • Blah

    This would be great advice in a perfect world but what about when you have children with the narcissist?

  • http://www.DrPrem.com Dr Prem Jagyasi

    Excellent post, I must say.

  • http://sudhendusingh.wordpress.com SudhenduSingh

    Excellent piece.. Would like to read more from you :)

  • http://heartflow2012.wordpress.com heartflow2012

    Beautiful! It is wonderful to hear how we can bring such energy into our life by following our passion! I like how authentic and ‘real-time’ your blog is.

  • http://heartflow2012.wordpress.com heartflow2012

    I love my life right now because I am more and more aware of a new feeling for life that is coursing through the veins of our Planet, and so also through ours. There is a feeling of exhilaration that is building and that surprises are just around the corner – and there they are! Right here now.

  • Fernando

    Why do I love my life right now?I just took a blind jump, moved from my home town of st Louis, mo to Denver, Colorado , leaving family,
    Friends , and a good job , all for a new adventure, and to get out of my comfort zone. Not even a week in, I land a job that pays more than the previous ( as well as an awesome boss!) , meeting many friendly new people, and feel like I’ve found my new home. Everything lined up great and I am in a much better mental state and location than earlier. I took a chance, and everything worked out better than I expected :). The magic happens when you get out of your comfort zone!

    • http://withlovecoach.com withlovecoach

      How amazing! You embody a tremendous amount of courage and trust, Fernando. And by trusting that the Universe will care for us, we give space for miracles.

      With love,
      Amanda
      withlovecoach.com

  • http://www.prishanfoundation.com Narges K Ashtari

    I love my life because I have realized just how much positive change one person can bring to many who need it in this world. I love my life because I know just how much love can heal our world – If every person had just a fragment of love inside of them for others our world would be a magical place, ‘Heaven’ would be on Earth. It is this understanding which has allowed me to not only love my life but love every life in this world. We are lucky to be here and lucky to feel this wonderful feeling of Love…

  • http://www.facebook.com/vbarfi2000 Vroojak Barfi

    I love my sisters and brothers, my sweet pet voori and even my parents whom left us long time ago. This is the only point which let me love my life. I wish would be able to be positive and help people , giving them positive energy and shrae anything which make the feel happy and bring smile on their face. But considering existing condition couldn’t did it as I wish, even lost many chances.
    Still, as far as I believe in that life is a kind of fight, won’t get disappointment and wait for my term to say “I did what I Wish and am a big winner against all bad luck, dishonesty and so on”.

  • http://dedepuppets.wordpress.com dedepuppets

    Thanks for visiting. The quote No 19 matches my post to the t, but in much fewer words. Oh I admire the people who can come up with great one liners :)

  • walee

    i never been happy about my life because life is really complicated to me. I’m a middle class 21y old women. i want to reach the highest my life take. i believe that every one has good things in life like a family to be happy,.. :) I’m happy of my family but things are very complicated to do but i still have hope XD

  • Emircan

    I love my life and only the reason is life is worth live.And Everyyear when ı work harder ı earn more and my dreams come true. The person who has a ambitious personality can do everything he/she desire.Thats my style aswell. When ı wanted to anything ım being extremly ambitous. So ı love my life cause ı have the best family and friends any one can have. Wıth my word; If you wanna reach to “NİRVANA” work hard, love life, love people and most important one love yourself. Those are the things, makes you different and succesfull person.
    Thank you.

  • http://hermesbags360.tumblr.com Hermes Bag

    I always emailed this blog post page to all my associates, since if like to read it afterward my contacts will too.

  • http://bennisinc.wordpress.com Stephanie (Bennis) Shirley

    I love the phrase “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” I’ve found some of the most successful people I know are those who live always a little bit outside their comfort zone.

  • Larrissia Erlandson

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years and I love him more each moment, I have a dog who is happy to see me everyday and loves to cuddle, I find meaning in music each day, my art is improving, and for the first time in my life I looked in the mirror and realized I am a beautiful woman. Today, I am strong. Tomorrow, I love myself more.

  • t

    No reason, really. Some things are good, others are really challenging but I just feel super grateful and happy. I’m not caught up in the tough stuff at all right now.

  • Rich Knudsen

    Loving and living life is more than just a philosophy to guide us but more so a realization that everything happens for a reason and our life experiences are wonderful set of entwined events that bring a range of emotional events and shape who we are. I Love My Life Right Now because I just had one of those experiences. For 30 years I have been searching for my daughter from a relationship when I was 18. I was an American living in the Philippines and was informed after my return to the states that I was going to be a father. My girlfriend and I kept in touch with each other regularly but suddenly she stopped writing. I tried to find her but was told that she had moved to New Zealand. I began the search process but found it very difficult and often hopeless because all my efforts to locate her were unsuccessful. (living in different countries). But I never truly lost hope even though I didn’t search as regularly as in the early years. Several months back, I started to have dreams about my daughter. These dreams were re-occurring and becoming more pronounced. I spoke to my wife and she agreed that I needed to start the search again. So I started the process, working with a great organization called Amerasian Worldwide to help with locating her. To make a long story short, they tracked her to Australia and after some additional searching, I was able to finally make contact. :) It was the most beautiful and magical experience I have ever had. She invited me to come to Australia to meet her, her fiancee and kids! I was on a plane 2 days later. When we first saw each other, we were both shaking with excitement and nervousness but couldn’t take our eyes off of each other. We went for tea were we talked and talked.. and talked more! Turns out, she had also waken in the middle of the night about the same time as my dreams and spoke to her fiancee about me. What a blessing! Anyways, we’re now getting to know each other and where our lives have lead us. I Love my life right now because no matter what happens in my life, I know that I am being watched over. I know that God was watching over me all the way…

  • http://skuu.blogspot.com Matt

    Shouldn’t our goals be about achieving things rather than being better than others or better than everyone? Otherwise we’re always just being the best fish in the bowl.

    • lmlrn

      Its not about being better than others, but the best that you can be.

  • Mark Wellbridge

    I love my life right now because I have finally learned how to rely on myself for my own happiness.

  • Anonymous

    I love my life right… it is inexplicable. When my strength fails me, my mind protects me. When my mind fails me, my mind still protects me. I rationalize my mistakes, and undoubt myself with my rationalization. I’ve created my own little world. For every single one of the biggest mistakes in my life, I’ve recovered from it exponentially. I’ve been incarcerated. I’ve been mutilated. I’ve been publicly humiliated. I’ve been raped. All of these things, after they were through, have shaped me into a tougher, faster, more capable human being than I ever thought I’d become. All my worst nightmares have come true, and I now have nothing to fear.
    This is why I love life. For all the torture I’ve endured from it, for all the celebration I’ve done, for all the death that has happened and will continue to happen, I know it’s just getting started. My life is fading before my eyes, and every day it gets better and better.
    I’d love to see how the story ends, but unfortunately I won’t know until it’s time to take the train ride back to home.

  • Jalebie

    I’m in a relationship with a special woman and everyday we grow, learn, develop and fall deeper in love

  • Nic

    I love my life because I know that no matter what happens, sunrises will always be beautiful.

  • Kris

    I love my life right now because I’m finally controlling it instead of letting it control me. I’ve started working out, lost 10 pounds, started being more confident with the women, even have a date for next week. I know what I want and I know what I have to do to get it. Feels good man.

    • Me

      I really like that line Kris “I know what I want, and I know what I have to do to get it”. That says it all ~ it makes me truly believe that you’ve found yourself, and, it inspires me too. So many of us can say “I know what I want”, but very few of us can earnestly affirm “I know what I have to do to get it”. Yes, it does feel good to own your Life. Thanks Kris :-)

  • tp

    Sounds like this post is not realistic. Depending on the level of narcissism there may be nothing that you can do to help them. Note that narcissism and selfishness are different.

  • Me

    I love my life right now because I am in a state of Love, and this Love heals everything. Yes it does.

    • http://withlovecoach.com withlovecoach

      And recognizing that everything is love gives me access to time travel. Thanks for sharing!

      With love,
      Amanda
      withlovecoach.com

  • ikk

    I absolutely love my life right now!
    I think in life we all hope to have as many magic moments that out shine the rest. I feel like I have had more of those magic moments this past year than my entire life put together. I feel a different kind of happy at this point in my life. Its a happy where I feel at peace with a lot of the things I can’t control and elated for the things I can. I’m continuing to learn to enjoy every moment and feel each one to its entirety. Its the small moments that are my favourite and for me, that feels like the secret to being happy. I don’t have expectations, but I have standards. I’m not willing to settle and expect the best for myself, and therefore do what I can to create and attract the best. I feel more myself than I ever have and am loving learning more about who I am. More than anything I feel humbled; I have met the most special person who has me falling more and more head over heals with every day that goes by. I feel so lucky to have found someone who inspires me to be better in every way. Without him I don’t think I would be able to feel this realm of happiness, it really is a whole new world of possibility and wonder. I’m sooo excited for whatever the future has in store because I know with him there is never a moment that falls short of magic. – <3i

  • Pingback: 10 Life-Changing Facts About Anger « Talesfromthelou's Blog

  • http://heartflow2012.wordpress.com heartflow2012

    “And sooner or later, that friend who’s always egging you on to start a fight will give up and leave, and you’ll find that inner peace. Anger will become a thing of the past.” Good post!

  • http://www.lmlrn.com LMLRN.COM

    I love my life right now because I have had an exponential amount of growth and personal development which has allowed me to experience true and real happiness to a level that I didn’t know existed. I have committed myself to a life of continual growth, so I can experience and enjoy every aspect of my life as and when it happens. I would not have been able to do this, nor would I have known it was possible, had I not met the special woman in my life right now and I will always feel grateful and lucky that I found her. Every moment I am around her I feel completely at peace and I am so proud of her for being the person she is. I can’t wait to see and experience the world with her.

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  • http://twitter.com/YouEverySecond YES You Every Second (@YouEverySecond)

    Nice list! I would also add that smiling definitely help to be in a better mood – and it is something that we can right now!

  • http://thoughtsontheatre.wordpress.com thoughtsontheatre

    Fantastically inspirational blog. Love what I’ve read so far.

  • surya

    excellent thought thank you so much for your valuable information

  • http://mselenalevontraveling.com Elena

    I LOVE every word! Thank you fro this!

    el

  • http://gravatar.com/fivethingsaday halhen

    While there is truth in here, the author will nuance these points as (s)he grows older. I’d like to suggest two things.

    First, make sure you get your definition of happiness right. Until you do, you will chase rainbows. It is unfortunate that being content is looked down upon. The only emotional state I’ve longed to, is to sit back, take a deep breath and truly feel that everything is as it should be. Lasting happiness is very close to being content. Being content has far less to do with social status, material resources, acclaim, or an impressive resume than contemporary culture advertises. To be content, one must at some point say “it is enough”. Maybe you’re closer to enough than you think? Maybe happiness has been right in front of you all the time?

    Second, be vary of individualism for its own sake. Individualism implies being different than others, which in turn means separation, and finally isolation. Try to figure out who you are, and find similarities and community in people around you.

  • http://www.lmlrn.com LMLRN.COM

    I agree that contentment is close to happiness, but at a young age, being content can be dangerous. It can stifle any chance of living the type of life you need to live, to have the experiences you need to have to ever be happy/content. We all have a desire to create a goal and to achieve it by over coming challenges and growing as a person. Not going through this process can create regret when you’re older. Thank you for the great comment.

  • http://smithfitness.wordpress.com Smithfitness

    Reblogged this on Smithfitness.

  • http://heysistersphotography.com/ heysistersphotography

    These are great. :) Thank you for sharing.

  • http://stressingoutcollege.wordpress.com stressingoutstudent

    It really helps to just rip off the band-aid and go for it. I joined student government last year and all the social interactions that I’ve gone through because of it have been extremely beneficial to me as an introvert. I’m not necessarily shy, but I just don’t feel the need to interact very much in my personal life. But doing student government has been amazingly transformative!

  • http://shareenayoub.wordpress.com Shareen

    I totally agree with the post. You nailed it.

  • http://topoftheclasstuition.wordpress.com stuadams

    nice!

  • http://postagestamprequired.wordpress.com [postage stamp required]

    “you will love somebody and it will change your life” — absolutely

  • http://renardmoreau.wordpress.com Renard Moreau

    [ Smiles ] This seems like very helpful advice for those who are afflicted with shyness.

    Nice article!

  • http://renardmoreau.wordpress.com Renard Moreau

    [ Smiles ] Fabulous advice!

  • http://renardmoreau.wordpress.com Renard Moreau

    [ Smiles ] An impressive blog with lots of insight!

  • http://bruceworksforalivingandwouldratherwrite.wordpress.com brucelombardo75

    Reblogged this on brucelombardo75's Blog and commented:
    Jorge…read this. And enjoy life.

  • http://bigbowlofthoughtsoup.wordpress.com Bbots

    I agree with Shareen, you gave excellent advice. To answer your ending question, I tell my spouse “I adore you” instead of saying the over-used/over-rated word, “love”. It worked like a charm, we’ve been together 13 years now. I do say I love you but it means more when I use “adore”. Good post thanks for sharring it.

  • http://ilivigblog.wordpress.com ilivig

    Reblogged this on ilivig's Blog and commented:
    these are the 10 reflections !

  • http://vanessaleighsblog.wordpress.com vanessaleighsblog

    What great suggestions, and all right on! I am currently in the love of my life, and it is because of all of the suggestions that you listed here. Love is magical, especially when we are vulnerable and truly ourselves! Thanks!

  • http://tosid01.wordpress.com tosid01

    I couldn’t have said it better myself! I have often talked about about most of these things with my partner. The current annoyance? #5 I have often said that his phone and video game systems may just happen to go missing…

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  • http://mylittledreamworld1.wordpress.com mylittledreamworld1

    Great post :) my boyfriend and I have been together for over ten years now, and I think being able to be ourselves, be honest and having time together are the most important things. Very well written :)

  • http://unforgettablyordinary.wordpress.com unforgettablyordinary

    You have made several good points here. I think an additional key element to a healthy relationship is acceptance. I’ve learned the very hard way you can’t change another person to be what you think they should be. Learning to accept my love the way he is and love him for who he is right now has made our relationship even more intimate and safe. We are able to be ourselves without fear of judgement.

  • http://TheMornAfter.com The Morning After

    I think people really underestimate the power of surprises! I think surprising your significant with something small speaks more than people realize.

  • http://twotoned.wordpress.com Khristine

    I’m still in my early 20s and I’m definitely keeping this in mind! Thank you for sharing !!!

  • http://liveoutja.wordpress.com rxtoni

    Reblogged this on LiveOut.

  • http://dazakuda.wordpress.com dazakuda

    I agree with this advice and I would recommend it to any shy people out there. It makes for good reading :)

  • http://poet4justicedotwordpressdotcom.wordpress.com gita4elamats
  • http://witlessdatingafterfifty.wordpress.com reocochran

    I think going all the way through your twenties and loving people along the way, is a great way to learn who you really belong with. I hope people will also give their thirties a try for all of the above. I am in my fifties, knew not nearly enough in my twenties to find a partner with staying power. Good luck and thank you for reading my blog! You are on your way to an awesome life!

  • http://waldotomosky.wordpress.com Waldo “Wally” Tomosky

    Please do not forget number 7! Do something for yourself. It keeps everything in balance.

    And if everyhing else fails; Do one mental exercise every day and one physical exercise every day.

  • http://witlessdatingafterfifty.wordpress.com reocochran

    It is true that being social means learning how to talk to people in various settings. Practicing can make a person become more adept. Also, it helps to find how to make others smile. Good listening is also needed in life!

  • http://ontheedgeagain.wordpress.com Donna

    I am ok with the small chit chat with strangers or people on the phone. I have issues pouring my true thoughts out to people I work with who may judge me in that way. I am a terrific encourager and teacher but just don’t judge me or I will tunnel back into my cave with hurt feelings. :o)

  • http://lasinglegal.wordpress.com lasinglegal

    Reblogged this on LA Single Gal and commented:
    I couldn’t put this better myself.

  • http://godsprop.wordpress.com godsprop

    Yes, #3 is my favorite… Take note of your many Blessings! God has greatly blessed us. ❤

  • http://rbcantwell.wordpress.com rbcantwell

    I’m a list maker as well! I live by my lists! :-) Great blog! Look forward to following you!

  • http://eatingwellin2013.wordpress.com Eating well in 2013

    Going for a run in the morning sun :)
    Instant happiness for me.

    http://eatingwellin2013.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/morning-run-in-morning-sun/

  • http://roadtofightnight.wordpress.com Kelsey

    Awesome list that I found particularly relevant to where I’m at right now, which is in my mid-20s.

  • http://socialanxietygroup.wordpress.com Dave

    Honest and fun are the essence of a good relationship.

  • http://heartofbella.wordpress.com Bella

    too bad not too many 16 year olds will be reading this or if they do, not thinking it through and letting it soak in…great post.

  • http://perfectlonelyworld.wordpress.com perfectlonelyworld

    I’m not even 16 yet, but I can understand most, if not all of these things. :)

  • http://perfectlonelyworld.wordpress.com perfectlonelyworld

    I used to be really shy. Like REALLY shy. This was back when I was around 1 years old. When people would knock at the door, I’d hide behind my parents’ legs. *That* shy. For me, the trick was for my parents to get me to spend time at my grandparents’ house. My cousin, who is 3 years older than me, spends most of his time there. And since he’s 3 years older, he’d always tease me. Naturally, I became not shy in order to “tease” my cousin.
    The one downside now though is that I’m extremely outgoing, and I love to talk to people. Sometimes, it can get distracting. :/

  • http://perfectlonelyworld.wordpress.com perfectlonelyworld

    “The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”
    I’ve always found that I always long for the way things used to be, and hate my current condition. :(

  • http://robakers.wordpress.com robakers

    I love positive thoughts, thanks!

  • http://journeyofthankfulness.wordpress.com lsgrlr

    Most people don’t know how important the “take the blame first” rule is. We so many times are very quick to see what others do wrong. But real change comes when we can honestly look at what we do wrong. This opens the door for us to change, but also gives our partner that same freedom.

  • http://justhisalone.wordpress.com justhisalone

    Reblogged this on JusThisAlone.

  • http://jamesguycooper.wordpress.com jamesguycooper

    Great advice

  • http://daysofhilda.wordpress.com bikegirl37

    I love my because I’m paying to attention and being thankful. It’s funny; they both impact on each other. I’m writing, I’m riding my bike, I’m hanging with my kids and being there for my friends. It’s not I like I didn’t do all that before but now I’m noticing stuff. Thanks for your blog, it’s brilliant.

  • http://bubblemomentpages.wordpress.com dbubble12

    This is truly the essence of love. Sometimes relationships need a refresher in these simple fundamentals. Love this!

  • http://keananbrand.wordpress.com Keanan

    Wise words.

    There are sometimes I wish I could go back, put my arm around my 16-year-old self, and impart what I’ve learned in the intervening years.

  • http://jonathongsoapbox.wordpress.com jon1124

    Hello and thank you for yours words ,very much I will visit here often , I like your work and I will be back.

  • Osman

    Simply.

    I want to change my life, and create a new version of myself.

  • http://waitingonaword.wordpress.com Jess

    Excellent advice. Thanks for the post.

  • jo

    All in all, not very helpful! The article would be a depressing guide if one truly has a narcississtic mother in law. A narcississt cannot be reasoned with due to their very complex filtering system, learnt from a very early age. They will struggle to listen to anyones views and CANNOT empathise with anyone, not even with their own children. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to maintain peace and harmony…….but this could be very difficult and harmful to your own mental health. There could also be deep rooted issues within your spouse if he has been ‘parented’ by a narcississt.

    • dealingwithaNMIL

      I aggree, this post sounds as though it is written from the view point of the narcississtic MIL.

  • diane

    He is a very mean controlling man and can not love any one.

  • penholdr

    I used to shy away from conflict until I had a perspective change. Conflict in itself is not bad. Conflict is like a sword. It’s a tool that can be used to help or to hurt. You have to decide how you’re going to wield it.

    Another important thing to remember that in conflict, you should never go in with the mindset of, “I’m going to win this.” Healthy conflict isn’t about you and getting what you want, but instead approach it with the goal of seeking to understand the different sides of the conflict and finding the best resolution for all parties.

  • ginNtronic

    These are very good points and I would like to add that so much of it is about swallowing your pride to reach a resolution. Even if you are clearly or more in the right than the the other, making the other person feel really bad, blaming them, or yelling at them isn’t going to get you anywhere no matter how satisfying it is at the moment.

    This is exactly the situation I was in this afternoon. I wanted to shove it in the other’s face because they had wronged me but I kept my cool and explained why I was irritated and hurt. It was very hard to do but things are now immensely better between the two of us after the convo.

  • Habadasher

    So.. Don’t be a dick? Seems simple enough.

  • assumes

    I can actually get really depressed when I encounter people who so shy away from conflict that they refuse to stand up for themselves, even when they’re in the right… like when another student in my class was clearly under marked on a test and wouldn’t bring it up because it “wasn’t worth the trouble”. I wanted to grab that damned test out of his hand and march it to the professor myself.. I guess it’s because I used to be the same way, but I’ve worked hard to break out of that shell and stand up for myself and my beliefs. But when smart, capable people are still being hindered by fear of conflict, I dunno, it just depresses the hell outta me.

  • penholdr

    I know for me and for a lot of people I meet who also have trouble with conflict, this fear/avoidance stems from having people in the past who didn’t use conflict in a way that was helpful. For example, my parents were TERRIBLE with conflict. Conflict always turned into shouting matches where anyone in it’s path were hurt.

    Though, in past years, when I would see someone have healthy conflict (especially with me), it would really encourage me to not shy away from it so much.

    Also I realized that even though I thought I was “keeping the peace” by avoiding conflict, I wasn’t making anything better.

  • NerdMachine

    One thing I learned from business school was a conflict resolution theory. It was discussed in the context of collective agreements, but I think it also applies well to interpersonal conflicts.

    It described three levels of conflict resolution, and that you should always start at the “lowest” level where possible.

    Level one: Interests

    Find a mutually beneficial solution that benefits both people to produce cooperation.
    “If we go to Die Hard instead of Princes Bride we will both enjoy it and have a better evening than if we went to Princess bride, because you won’t enjoy that one as much.”

    Level two: Rights

    Appealing to some higher law or authority to get compliance/cooperation from the other person.
    “We saw Marley and Me last time so it’s only fair that today we go to see Die Hard.”

    Level three: power:

    You use strength and/or coercion to compel the other person to comply.
    “We are going to Die Hard or I’m going to kick your ass.”

    Just about any conflict can be described like this. Imagine a belligerent drunk at ta restaurant:

    “Sir please leave, we don’t want any trouble for us or yourself.” (Interests)
    “Sir you are now trespassing, you must leave by the laws of Canada.” (Rights)
    Bouncer physically removes drunk from restaurant. (Power)

  • dJe781

    The article isn’t too bad, but it seems to me that it focuses too much on how you should feel and too less on how you should act. The thing is that conflict cannot be solved without taking action.

    Also, I find it difficult to solve conflicts with these pointers alone because the way you handle conflict in a personal context is VERY different from the way you should handle it in a professional context.

    Here are a few pointers for professional context :

    Always verbally. No conflict has ever been solved in writing. This is especially true now that everyone uses texts or emails on a daily basis, and that writing became easier than talking.

    Use facts. No personal point of view, appreciations or feeling. Facts. A professional isn’t trying to achieve anything on the emotional level through his job because it would mean that he’s likely to make his decisions based on his emotional issues. We all know that we indeed have emotional issues, all of us, but keeping it out of the problem is the best way to make some progress.

    Build a solution. Talk about the future instead of the past. “If it happens again” isn’t talking about future, it’s talking about what happened in the past. It’s very much appreciated to be constructive instead of focusing on what has been done wrong. If you’re entirely at fault, a small part of the discussion should be dedicated to acknowledging your responsibility. But it shouldn’t been done in more than two sentences. Once it’s done, focus on building a system that prevents it from happening again. If you’re not entirely at fault, or not at fault at all, just do the same : be constructive. People will be grateful for not sticking it to them once again, and building a solution is enough of an emphasis to make them understand that the problem has to be taken care of.

    Of course, there always are some particularities and you should give some thought about who you are in business with, what they want to achieve on a personal level, and make sure that your plans don’t threaten them (professionally AND emotionally, most of the dicks at work out there are wrecks in their personal life and are just compensating for this pain). If your plans do threaten them, you have to be more subtle about this conflict, and that’s what negociation is.

  • Daffodils28

    Awesome info. This should be required reading in school.

  • maya81a

    A really nice article, that gets straight to the point. Thanks for sharing!

  • POOR_IMPULSE_CONTR0L

    Lesson #1: Don’t get lost at sea, and if you do, bring either a volleyball or a man-eating tiger.

  • TidderTNE

    1. Befriend Tigers, don’t worry their cool.

  • theartfulcodger

    Meh. What about the ultimate statement about love and passion, Wuthering Heights? Or the best anti-war book ever written, All Quiet on the Western Front? Or the classic Two Years Before the Mast – rich on-becoming-a-man stuff, enfolded within astonishing turns of sensitive lyricism?

    • _shreve

      Nope, sorry. The 4 hour work week is way more epic and important.

  • ProcrastinationMan

    It’s a good list, but rather than being the 10 epic books every man must read, it’s just 10 epic books every man must read. There’s so many others you could name that would be excellent additions to this list: Kafka’s The Trial comes to mind, or how about Machiavelli’s Prince? Huxley’s Brave New World?

    • arvore

      yess
      agreed

  • ekimneems

    I don’t trust this list because Lonesome Dove isn’t on it.

    • Angela

      You too? It’s my favourite book of all time…………. x

  • SlackerZeitgeist

    The Art of War is the best book about relationships that I’ve ever read.

  • lord_of_vader

    Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield? The Art of War by Sun Tsu?

  • Bigdaddy771

    The Road – Cormac McCarthy

  • gretsch59

    It’s impossible to put one of these lists together without leaving out something deserving. This is a good list of books to read, but I think “epic” is a misleading term here. An Epic, strictly speaking, tends to follow a formula with certain elements. It’s usually got a central hero who performs various deeds that are somewhat superhuman, and he usually ends up dying at the end, or at least losing everything he gained. See The Iliad, The Oddyssey, Don Juan, Paradise Lost, etc.

    Based on the list author’s definition as “books that defined generations and influenced countless authors”, there are several books that are notably absent. Like it or not, The Bible has arguably been a greater influence than just about any other book in history, and has helped shape entire cultures and civilizations. More recently, I would argue that Jules Verne was probably the main influence on the science fiction genre, so I would include The Time Machine, or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. The Catcher in the Rye and The Great Gatsby are also two of the greater influences in recent American literature, and should also be included. Not to mention some of the other notables mentioned above.

  • El_Pwnzor

    Siddhartha was great. Unconventional, but great. You could say that you didn’t like it, but saying Siddhartha is a bad book is an argument that cannot be won. Just as how I didn’t like Candide, but I know it’s a good book.

    In reference to the list, I’m disappointed to see classic masculine books like Catch-22 and Catcher in the Rye missing.

  • HeyArnoldPalmer

    The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell

  • floydskywalker

    No Catcher in the Rye?

  • Highfive_Machine

    Slaughter House Five and Ender’s Game!

  • PeevishPanda

    I recently finished The Alchemist and really don’t understand why it’s so popular. All the characters seemed really shallow and I just never really connected with it.

    I read the rings trilogy and at times I found them to be overly tedious to read and had to put them down and read other books and come back months later to finish each book.

    I think Enders Game should be on this list.

  • Willravel

    I was glad to see The Sun Also Rises and The Count of Monte Cristo on the list, as they are some of the best works of literature in human history.

    I would personally not recommend The Screwtape Letters, as it is clearly a work of Chrisitian apologism. If you want to read a book written by a master which immerses you in religion and myth, you can’t go wrong with Dune. Equal parts science fiction and religious fantasy with politics, tribalism, war… basically everything. It’s never dull, like Screwtape, and it doesn’t beat you over the head with it’s attempt to convert the unbelieving or reinforce the believer. It’s just amazing.

    I might include Thucydides History of the Peloponnesian War. Despite the fact it was originally written around 2,400 years ago, it remains arguably the greatest work of non-fiction on war and is (again, arguably) the first real work which could be considered an accurate historical record. The writing style is absolutely amazing, the details, reasonably well sources, reveal volumes about the ancient world, and the war itself has lessons which are every bit as relevant today as they were during the time of Ancient Athens and Sparta. I’m an anti-war kind of guy and even I love it.

  • lastresort09

    The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

  • bfg24

    I’d also add Homer’s Illiad, and Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy to the list

  • c-prizzle

    I read like two of these already! That makes me a real man, right?

  • JewishCowboy

    A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson shoulda made the cut imo.

  • a man

    Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? wtf?!

  • LifeWisher17

    Just wanted to add, since I didn’t see them in here so far. A few I have never seen on a list of this sort.

    Lord of the Flies, William Golding

    Call of the Wild, Jack London

    Papillon, Henri Charrière

    Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain

    Animal Farm, George Orwell

    All Creatures Great and Small, James Herriot

    Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll

    • Zul

      Papillon… Definetly!

  • RoadSoda

    The Trial is one I want to read…Taleb mentions it in Fooled by Randomness and it sounded like something I’d like. I’ve just started The Black Swan (Taleb’s most famous book) yesterday and already like it more. It might just be that Taleb’s idea of uncertainty is complex and counter intuitive so that this being my second foray into it makes it easier or if the book is just actually better is hard to tell. Either way I do want to read The Trial.

  • Top_Gun_Redditor

    Just make sure to read an unabridged version of Monte Cristo. As a child I read an abridged version and it wasn’t until years later that I realized how many epic scenes had been cut. I’m reading Crime and Punishment right now and I certainly hope it gets better. I’m halfway through and I honestly have no sympathy for Raskalnikov. It makes for tough reading.

  • Matthew

    This is quite a profound selection. I’d agree with these as an amazing choice of books. However, I believe War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy is an essential one you forgot. Though it is quite a handful, and the quit-essential long book, the 2 main characters in the book describe, in completeness, who we are as men.

  • lisha

    it was really insightful as many times we fall prey to the sugar coated words without understanding the hidden agenda. and once such ppl start acting like your best buddies, it becomes even more harder to shrug them off.

  • folderol

    I smoked for 15 years. Then went cold turkey and after 2 weeks it stopped sucking and became awesome. I used to dream I had smoked and woke up happy that in fact I hadn’t. It really took some willpower but was not impossible at all. I think it helped that I was not hanging around anyone who smoked during those two weeks and I was not drinking any alcohol at the time. Then I got divorced a couple years ago and I smoke once again.

  • Snudge

    I think this article approaches quitting smoking as something way easier then it is. While I agree that breaking a, or the, habit is core in quitting to smoke, I think it would only work in such a situation.

    For example, I only smoke when I’m outside, because I can’t, and won’t, smoke inside. This means that when I set a foot outside of my door, I light up a cigarette. How would I go about stopping this habit? Stop going outside?

    I’m aware of my own “cue”, as the article puts it. I just don’t think this is a end-all be-all.

    • egdunS

      This is the Internet.

      Yes, stop going outside.

  • ArtistEngineer

    Breaking a habit is simple. You’ll do it if you really want to do it.

    Anything else is just an excuse.

    Simply put: Why would you do something that you don’t want to do?

    People keep smoking and keep taking drugs because they want to.

    To stop you have to stop wanting to do it, and for a reason. Stopping for no reason won’t work.

  • clinicallyrepressed

    I’ve recently invested in a decent e-cig and havent looked back. They’re simply amazing. I’ve been a smoker for 13+ years, ranging from 1-1.5 packs a day and I have yet to encounter a hiccup since the switch. For those not ready to drop the nicotine but want to kick the smoking, I can’t recommend a better alternative.

  • CrookedAccountant

    If you ever smoke a cigarette that tastes a bit “funny” compared to others from the same pack, put it out and unravel its contents. What you will find is that there are stems, and other nasty non-plant material, hell I found a few grains of sand once.

  • SinkingDeeper

    Like people have said, you can’t really quit until your ready to quit. Then half the battle is won. I stopped after 15 years just woke up one day and didn’t smoke. Get through those first couple of weeks and you’ll be fine.

  • Muddy

    I’m slightly offended by the gender specific title of this stumble upon. Do you think women are too busy reading garbage like Fifty Shades of Gray?

    • lmlrn

      No but I cant tell women what they should read. My girlfriend will be working on a list for women shortly. Thanks for checking out the post.

      • kezia

        you can tell men what to read because you’re a man, but you can’t tell women what to read because you’re not a woman… look dude, we’re all people here.

        • mkalbasi

          I didnt compile the list of books for women. There is no need to make assumptions based on something you don’t know. I value your opinion but the list on books for women was made after consulting many women, forums, reviews and look dude, we’re all entitled to our opinions, even if you don’t agree

    • Holden42

      Why is it that every time something is pointed towards men specifically someone has to pipe up with “What about the wimminz”?

      • lmlrn

        It doesn’t need to be like that. Its not an exclusion, more of a niche for a certain type of audience.

      • kezia

        maybe because it happens all the time. maybe because the gender dichotomy is total bs.

        • mkalbasi

          You need to understand that there are differences between men and women and there are things that interest us that you may not be interested in. This is not your chance to stick up for womens rights, its just about varying interests and NOT bs

  • Tifa

    Thanks for writing this. :)

  • Curious Oyster

    Thank you for this good read. I’m turning 20 this year and I think these words are really helpful :)

  • http://stirringtroubleinternationally.com stirringtrouble

    A lot of nice posts for people to soak in, well done. I think these books are great for everybody and glad that I StumbledUpon this page.

  • Mal

    We are actually not always in control of our emotions, as anyone suffering from depression or an anxiety or panic disorder can tell you. Much of emotion is physiological, and our control is limited, especially in those ‘first moments’ after something happens.

    These suggestions can help with the small stuff, like the car breaking down, or missing your train. But for problems that are partly physiological, medication or CBT may be needed.

    And for major emotional reactions, such as the terror or rage from adrenaline, or true grief of loosing a beloved, these suggestions aren’t much use.

  • Mal

    To live life now. Take advantage of your late teens and your twenties. Do the things you truly desire. Travel, study art instead of accounting, take a gap year. Backpack around the country. Choose the career or job you find most inspiring, not the one that pays best.
    Don’t tell yourself that there will be time later, or fit your plans into someone elses schedule or expectations.

    You are younger, and freer from burdens and responsibilities than you will be ever again, and probrably healthier as well. Your youth will pass, you will acquire responsiblies and you cannot rely on keeping your health. There may not be a future, so live now.

    And don’t write off your friends and relationships. Stay in touch, even if you are going in different directions. Nurture your friendships and give them the chance to grow and change as you do.

  • arvore

    The list was quite good to the point that I read The Alchemist on it. This book is the biggest plagiarism and poor writing. I tried to read it because a friend insisted it changed his life and his perspective on so many dif levels. Well, I thought, why not give it a try. Not even the love for my friend was enough to go thru the third page.

  • bofreaka

    Into the wild

  • jty2011

    The Old Man and The Boy by Robert Ruark

  • Survivor

    This is truly terrible advice…most abusive parents have serious mental illnesses which cause them to behave that way, which conflicts with normal parental instincts of protection and love. They will not accept that they are abusive; they may become more abusive if they are accused of abuse in an illogical, emotionally-driven cycle. Often the “triggers” of the abusive behavior include coming out to get something to eat, or trying to go to school. Those things cannot and should not be avoided. If your parent is abusive, try to stay with a sane relative, or, if none is available, a friend’s family. If the abuse is intense and there is no where else to go, call child services. Abusers do not deserve the endless chances we all give them to hurt us over and over again.

  • Bluedelta

    Point Counter Point – Huxley

  • Daiane Miranda

    Paulo Coelho, que legal!

  • Me-JustMe

    Sorry but: 10 epic booksevery PERSON must read…

    • lmlrn

      You’re right but any books you suggest that are a must for women?

      • kezia

        the feminine mystique.

  • thatnewblackguy

    Thank you for sharing this. Every video made me think.

  • chasm89

    That Jill Bolte Taylor speech. Wow.

  • Javier

    Dostoyevsky “Crime and Punishment” or “The brothers Karamazov” should be on the list

  • Elizabeth

    Anna Karenina

  • Martin

    Fight Club? I mean the whole book is about discovering a sense of masculinity?

  • Benjamin Button

    Also the patch works wonders

  • Keith

    Good list.
    I know people always, in some sort of self referential outrage, proclaim what a travesty it is that [insert book title] never made the list, it is in fact a pet peeve of mine, like there is such a thing as a definitive list, but I’m going to do it anyway.

    A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole

    A book doesn’t always have to be dramatic, intense, life changing or life affirming, sometimes, it can just make you laugh your ass off

  • Bic

    Don Quixote is essential reading and something everyone should experience.
    The great Harold Bloom makes reference to it for all the right reasons.

  • BossLackey

    That Buddha is one cool dude

  • blue_strat

    “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared”

    A nice extension of this is that the candle which bends to light another is the one whose life is shortened. If you remain upright and others bend to receive happiness from you, they will be challenged briefly and you will remain unharmed. If you constantly bend to others to make them happy, you will be burned down quickly.

  • 1thief

    “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection”

    Taken together I think that gets at what you’re saying.

  • DownsThompson

    These are certainly good choices, but a lot of them are more opinions rather than sources of knowledge.

    The best of the bunch is clearly #5. Daniel Kahneman manages to make cognitive psychology seem both highly relevant and very readable.

    The worst is probably #2. Malcolm Gladwell is a successful writer, but his claims are often a haphazard application of scientific results applied in the wrong context or based on mere anecdotal evidence.

    There is a reason why Kahneman is a Nobel laureate and famous among both scholars and light readers, while Gladwell is mainly popular among light readers.

  • Trapline

    Feels pretty good when one of these books is already on my coffee table waiting in line for me to read it. Should be moving up pretty quickly since it’s so damn hard to put “John Dies at the End” down.

  • Probastinator

    These are good if you already have a penchant for wanting to learn more. If you’re not terribly intelligent and don’t have an interest in reading books about sciency-stuff then I highly doubt these will do anything for you rather than teach you some trivial stuff you might not even remember or care to read through till the end.

    Intelligence =/= knowledge.

  • facadesintheday

    I still think anything on body language or face communication needs to be on here. I cannot tell you how important these books are for social communication.

  • bradiation

    There are some great books on this list: Cosmos, A Short History of Nearly Everything, and Guns Germs and Steel.

    However, Freakonomics and a lot of Malcolm Gladwell books, including this one, have been very hated by many people, including my friends and colleagues in statistics. Gladwell has a unique way of looking at things and is a great writer, but has a strong tendency to pick and choose and make that look like a trend. Freakonomics gets so much hate from every statistician I know because it is basically the cardinal sin of statistics: “data drudging.” If you look at enough data and analyze it certain ways, you can make numbers look like anything you want them to.

    I’m no expert in these fields, but I hear this a lot from those who are. So if you read/like these books, take them with a grain of salt.

  • http://twitter.com/brammofan Brammofan

    Guns, Germs and Steel. You got it right in the copy, but the header is misspelled. I thought, at first, you were talking about a sequel to the book that dealt with larceny as a major force of global change.

    • aldokw92

      Amazing book indeed, it reveal so much history I want to know that is not being taught in school.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/meg.qyllen Meg Qyllen

    Why exactly is it that men need to read these; but, not women?

    • mkalbasi

      As a man, these books were a great read and in some cases life changing. We’re currently working on a list for women, written by our guest blogger coming out next week which is based on her recommendations.

      • kezia

        i can enjoy things that men enjoy. just because your girlfriend shares my anatomy doesn’t mean she’ll know what books i’d like. the dichotomy of this is ridiculous.

        • mkalbasi

          Well done for learning the word dichotomy and using it relentlessly. To repeat my response to an earlier comment of yours, its about varying tastes and you dont see any men complaining that Cosmopolitan magazine is sexist as it doesnt cater to men. We understand that we are different and we dont feel the need to talk about someones personal life to make a point.

  • http://bbakeca.com/ BBakeca

    Great list! Thanks for sharing!

  • http://twitter.com/skillcode Alex

    Thanks.

  • idlemac

    Yesterday, checked my bank, heaps of money, fed the horses, did dinner
    cleaned up spent a little time with my little one, tucked her into bed
    then jumped in the shower and into bed next to my boyfriend and talked until 12 at night . As I was falling asleep in his arms I realized how really lucky I am to have a full and loved life.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joshua-Granberg/1172314805 Joshua Granberg

    good job gives me alot to think about

  • http://www.facebook.com/amy.pierce.566 Amy Pierce

    Love this! So great to remember the things that really matter

  • http://www.facebook.com/amy.pierce.566 Amy Pierce

    Especially #17! You sure don’t find much substantial “nutrition” for you spirit in our secular culture. You really have to search it out, which often means going against the current, spiritually unsatisfying belief in moral relativism, and the morally empty new age practices that go along with it..

  • Vincent Nguyen

    I’m more of a reader only when there is something to be practically applied. This usually means I stay away from fiction and read more non-fiction books that inspire or teach me. Although I do like some of your arguments, I disagree with #3. :)

  • Vincent Nguyen

    I love my life right now because my website has led to so many doors opening and it is CRAZY. I get to write about the stories in my life that inspired me, use these stories to help others, AND I’m getting tons of work experience outside the site because of it. Life is good. :)

  • Diane

    Hi Leah, I enjoyed your post; especially 3,4,7, 8, &10:) resonated with me. thanks

  • Diane

    I love my life right now because I am FREE – to love, share, forgive, encourage, laugh, cry and following my passion of writing, fitness and giving back to others. I am healthy, and have the support of my partner, have a wonderful life with our amazing beagle DJ.

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  • http://www.dawnofchange.com/ Onder Hassan

    I love my life right now because for the first time, i’ve realized why it’s important to have a purpose. I feel like I have something to give to the world and no longer feel in need of anyone due to the happiness and satisfaction I create for myself because of it. I’ve started a blog, practice the martial arts, connect with new people daily and dance the Salsa and have never had as much joy as I have now living the life i’m happy with. :)

  • Madison

    one thing id like to add is that sometimes this passion may feel like work, and that’s normal. Passion is something you may not feel like doing 100% of the time, but if 51% of the time, you feel like dropping everything just to do that one thing, then that is pasion, and that is something you should attempt to master.

    • mkalbasi

      I agree and thank you for sharing

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  • http://www.facebook.com/pheterson Eric אברם Pheterson

    10, or 20?

    • mkalbasi

      Woops somebody will get fired for that!

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  • Vincent Nguyen

    Phew, looks like I’m on the right path!

  • http://www.dawnofchange.com/ Onder Hassan

    Good post. The most important thing of all however, which i think you should have included is to learn to embrace failure :)

  • dan

    I tried these tactics but now the god damn retards come around even more! ‘m about to start beating them with a bat!

  • Binthru Dis

    Just spank her

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  • http://selfstairway.com/ Vincent Nguyen

    Number three is what I struggle with today. Making assumptions is so easy and just happens so fast that I often find myself mentally apologizing to myself. Assumptions do influence what we say and do, rarely in good ways.

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  • http://www.dawnofchange.com/ Onder Hassan

    Number 2 for me has always been a common problem of mine as I used to always take everything personally.

    Nowadays, I have a more healthy way of looking at things and look at it in terms of personal responsibility. In other words, if something goes wrong, what can I do to correct it the next time. :)
    Great article by the way.

  • http://twitter.com/YouEverySecond Nicolas Daudin

    Items 2 and 3 are definitely the hardest for me.
    It’s the third time in a few months that I read how great that book is!! I think I’m convinced now and I’ll buy it soon :) Great sum up!

  • Fortune

    I’d recommend Quiet
    for any reader considering themselves leaning towards the introverted
    side of the spectrum. It’s a very good book for gaining a better
    understanding of yourself, (especially if you find yourself feeling
    guilt or inferiority at not being the idealized charismatic socialite
    that is so often espoused in Western culture).

  • Fukaki

    Nice list, thanks.

  • Matt

    Why no love for Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?

  • cardo was taken

    So are you offended if you see helpful tips for kids bc you’re not a kid?? Get over yourself, Muddy.

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  • http://twitter.com/ayuktranslation MagdaAyuk

    Great tips! I had a personal blog for a few years. I stopped it, and then I recently started blogging for my business Web site. I struggled a bit at first to find the “right” voice as my target audience has changed. But, I think I’ve managed to find a balance between business and my regular day-to-day personality. I love your site design, btw.

  • http://twitter.com/guentherishere Matt Guenther

    This post re-inspired me to start my blog again. I always hear “your blog has to have a niche” or “you need to be an expert in something.” Honestly, I get tired of writing about the same topic. I like to write about all kinds of things for the sake of writing and expanding my knowledge on that topic.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=719590127 Mehdi K Ashtari

      Thats awesome Matt. Blogging is supposed to be fun for you and not a chore. I’m glad you’re starting yours again.

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  • Arturo_Ulises

    And why must men read these books? There is nothing in the article that explains this.

    And this reads like a college student’s reading list.

  • Raven

    How about, Le Morte D’Arthur, The Curious Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, Dracula, War of the Worlds, Frankenstien, Hound of the Baskervilles, The Pit and The Pendulum, The Time Machine, The Andromeda Strain and The Stand.

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  • Dave

    Lives of a Cell Notes of a Biology Watcher

  • SocialChirps

    The topic on not to multitask reverberates my stand. There’s a law in Economics called the law of diminishing returns which undergirds my reasoning for that. Interesting blog!

  • Am I invisible?

    I’m a shy girl and I am always afraid to speak up and I wish someone would just talk to me and try to have a real convo station with me, and if someone does try to talk to me it makes my day. These tips sound very helpful and if someone followed them correctly I would most likely open up.
    Souce
    -being a shy girl for 8yrs

  • Zech Newman

    Love the idea about a weekly plan. I have done long term, down to daily action. This gives me something to think about! Thanks!

  • ali

    vary good

  • Princess Fizz

    Hi
    Came across your website and really want to know more about how this is going for you :)

  • DDave

    and when all else fails her, divorce her and find someone younger!

  • test

    This would never work, she won’t shut up long enough for conversation.

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  • Anonymous

    I’ve never been a huge believer but when it turned out that lovespell was my last hope, I gave it a try because my lover stopped talking to me, after begging and pleading with him I realized that nothing was working out, he left me to meet another girl, i had no choice than to ordered a reunite love spell from dr.marnish@yahoo.com to help me get my lover back, after the spell was cast, the Results was fantastic, I never expected what i saw, I’m so grateful i came across this spell caster, My love left his other girlfriend and we came back together have, dr marnish changed my life and made me a true believer! Vidovic Robert from London

  • athmanathan

    despite all your advice a patient husband of thirty years and more is desperate to end the marriage or end his life as nagging from a termagant woman who wants to lord it over others becomes a pestering menace to everyone around her. But god will surely reward those who are patient. Don’t care a damn what happens to the evil doers.

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  • Doreen Sophia

    My Name is Doreen, i am so happy because a great spell caster helped me with a spell that brought my ex back.

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  • Stephen Carnazzo

    Practical advice in an engaging format. It is always easy to ask. More often than you think, you get an unexpected positive response.

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  • Sty

    Good article thanks. Dealing with a marriage where my partner does not desire physical contact, something lots of people deal with. Hardest thing is being married and yet feeling more alone and trapped than ever. Also getting hard not to notice other people. My pastor addressed this issue once and gave a good sermon. I know that passion dies in all marriages and I know I’m no different but I…. If you don’t want to be with someone physically then something starts to die inside and I don’t think it ever really comes back. Kind of like baby turtles, I know most of us won’t make it but for the ones that do man it must be something.

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  • http://www.limonbay.com/ Piercing

    I generally agree

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  • Having a NMIL

    All these sugeestions works with a normal person. I have been doing what is listed here most of the times with my NMIL but believe me she does not think a milisecond to hurt my feelings or create conflicts.

  • Shane Anderson

    “Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around, encouraging young things to grow.” – Dolly Levi : Hello Dolly! 1969

    Rule No. 3

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  • Matthew Davis

    Nice

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  • eric

    Life After Life by Kate Atkinson
    is my best book of 2013

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  • Jeremy

    Love this post and that book is now in my to do list to read.

    • mkalbasi

      Glad you liked it Jeremy and let us know what you thought of any books you end up reading. Thanks for checking out the post

      • Jeremy

        Will do! Also, I like the social plug in you’re using that popped up. Which one are you utilizing?

  • Sasha K-S

    Handy list.

    • mkalbasi

      Thank you for checking it out Sasha

  • Jeremy

    Great post. Blogging has become therapeutic and a ways to vent. I’ve always liked expressing myself and with blogging at least I can express myself on paper. You never know who it might help too.

    • mkalbasi

      Thank you Jeremy. I agree with you. The benefits of writing down your thoughts alone is beneficial, but when you have a passion that you can focus your writing on, not only does it improve your writing skills, but it helps you develop your passion while at the same time helping others.

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  • Ashesh Shrestha

    Hey Buddha was born in Nepal

  • http://failacademy.com/ Fail Academy

    Great advice. Being comfortable with discomfort is one of the most important qualities many successful people possess. However, I’d also like to add that it is important to expand your comfort zone very gradually. If you do too much, your brain probably won’t be able to handle it. Similarly, if you do too little, there won’t be any measurable expansion of your comfort zone. Step by step expansion, that’s the key. Keep up the good work.

  • Ash Estrada

    Really dig this list, but just so you know, books 1, 4, and 5 aren’t showing up as free on Amazon. Still low-priced though!

    • mkalbasi

      Hi Ash, thank you for letting me know. At time of publishing they were free but it seems as though it may have changed. I’ll be working on a revised list very soon

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  • Biglashtycoon

    Not for Christians.

  • antiguajohn

    I would add “Why Nations Fail”, by Daron Acemoglu and James A. Robinson.

    It will enlighten you to the underlying machinations of power, prosperity and poverty.

    antiguajohn

  • Gabe Quistorff

    “The Millionaire Next Door”

  • HerpDerp

    Yeah, more like pseudo intellectual books that will get you all the hipster chicks.

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  • zigzagkit

    Blood and freedom by Gordon Greenwood should be on the list

  • vinton samms

    The Pelican Briefs is must read for every male

  • kezia

    the fact that this is about MEN and not people is pretty silly. there’s no reason women wouldn’t enjoy these books. just because some of them are specifically about different notions of masculinity doesn’t mean I, as a female, can’t appreciate them. maybe if we focused on what we had in common and tried to understand our differences, we wouldn’t need shit like “50 best pick up lines to make girls hate themselves and love you” or “mascara that will make men think you worthy”.

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  • http://dbakeca.com Dbakeca Italia

    interesting post

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  • ron anguiano

    Why are these tomes gender specific? Lord of the rings? Cmon… Why not read books where you actually learn somthing you can apply like a great math book or physics book for the nonscientist. The world is more complex than phantasy and aged philosophical broodings. It is no wonder were so anemic in helping our youngsters understand thenatural world and live in a world of self introspection.

    • lmlrn

      Have you taken the time to read LOTR? If you’re unaware of the benefits of the messages in fictional stories as well as the benefits for your imagination, then I urge you to read it. We have a list for becoming smarter here and there are some science books which you may like.

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  • Harold Gardner

    The Brothers…no way… Being & Time or Process & Reality depending on your taste.

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  • Danny

    in my search for stoicism.
    thank you for your opinions and writings, they help to enlighten the day a head.

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  • emman

    Max respect Jamal! This site is useful to every person who can read English.

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  • yourmom

    lawlz no 1 carezzzzzz

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  • maria

    This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me….My name
    is maria cooker … My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my
    husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was
    about to end, and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa
    ork who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the
    internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my
    problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell
    caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some
    testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to
    stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was
    about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa ork brought back
    her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop
    papa ork e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a
    try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3
    days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even
    happier than before. papa ork is really a talented and gifted man and i
    will not to stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man…If you have
    a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve
    that problem for you. Try the great papa ork today, he might be the answer
    to your problem. Here’s his contact: orkstarspell@gmail.com Thank you great
    ork. Contact him for the following:

    (1)If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4)You want women/men to run after you.
    (5)If you want a child.
    (6)[You want to be rich.
    (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8)If you need financial assistance.
    (9)Herbal care
    10)Help bringing people out of prison

    Contact him today on:
    orkstarspell@gmail.com

  • trilalirt

    It is great to be able to see each others location with some location tracking app. With this one for example – https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.triladroid.locationshare

    • Sarah Martins

      Thanks to Dr. Trust

      My name is Sarah matins. I am from Dubai i am here to spread the entire work of a real spell caster called Dr. Trust who just helped me to retrieve back my union with my husband and make our relationship very stronger and brought joy and happiness into our marriage. I have been scammed by a lot of fake spell casters but i was later introduced to Dr. Trust by a friend named tucker stacey to this great man who help her to restore her relationship back with his husband.He also help me and wipe away my tears. So viewers of this wonderful testimony who wants to contact him like:ultimatespellcast@gmail.com

      1. GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK.

      2. DIVORCE SPELL.

      3. WINNING LOTTERIES.

      4. BREAKING OF GENERATION COURSE.

      5. GETTING OF JOB.

      6. CHILD BEARING.

      7. MONEY SPELL

      8. CURING OF HIV AND MANY MORE.

      9. HERBAL CARE.

      10. BEAUTY SPELL.

      11. BUSINESS CHARMS TO ENQUIRE MORE CUSTOMERS AND LOT’S MORE..

      So brothers and sisters i have tested this man DR. Trust and i have found that he is real and genuine. i am now the happiest woman on earth today, Contact his via email id and be joyful in your life.(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Tel:+23481566885231).

      More gratitude and thanks to you again the great DOCTOR.

  • Tomy

    You should install monitoring software MaxxSpy. It is very good software, is it is cheaper too. I have many friends are using this software, and who also feel satisfied at all. I’m free trial and feel like MaxxSpy.

    Download FREE and use trial 48h FULL features at: MaxxSpy.COM

    - Track mobile phone GPS location.

    - Spy SMS text messages remotely.

    - Track Call history and Spy Call Recording.

    - Track whatsapp messages without rooting.

    - Hack facebook messages, viber chats, yahoo messenger.

    - Track Line messages and BBM messages.

    - Read phone contact and Track Internet Browsing History.

    - See All Photos Captured.

    - 100% Undetectable and Free Update.

  • Sarah Martins

    Thanks to Dr. Trust

    My name is Sarah matins. I am from Dubai i am here to spread the entire work of a real spell caster called Dr. Trust who just helped me to retrieve back my union with my husband and make our relationship very stronger and brought joy and happiness into our marriage. I have been scammed by a lot of fake spell casters but i was later introduced to Dr. Trust by a friend named tucker stacey to this great man who help her to restore her relationship back with his husband.He also help me and wipe away my tears. So viewers of this wonderful testimony who wants to contact him like:ultimatespellcast@gmail.com

    1. GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK.

    2. DIVORCE SPELL.

    3. WINNING LOTTERIES

    4. BREAKING OF GENERATION COURSE.

    5. GETTING OF JOB.

    6. CHILD BEARING.

    7. MONEY SPELL.

    8. CURING OF HIV AND MANY MORE.

    9. HERBAL CARE.

    10. BEAUTY SPELL.

    11. BUSINESS CHARMS TO ENQUIRE MORE CUSTOMERS AND LOT’S MORE..

    So brothers and sisters i have tested this man DR. Trust and i have found that he is real and genuine. i am now the happiest woman on earth today, Contact his via email id and be joyful in your life.(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Tel:+23481566885231).

    More gratitude and thanks to you again the great DOCTOR.

  • Tomy

    i think MaxxSpy app help you track gps location on your husband’s cell phone. i used this app on my phone. it’s very cool. hope it help you.

    • Bella Tina

      My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks.

  • Bella Tina

    My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

  • Bella Tina

    My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks..

  • Andrea Monica

    My name is Andrea Monica.i am here to testify on how Dr.Zaba helped me. I saw a post on a particular site sharing testimony on how these great spell caster brought back her ex. Initially, i thought the post is unreal but I later had a second thought and another person still share his testimony on how he brought back his wife.so i contacted the spell caster as instructed by the post. I have no option than to try my best because my husband left me with my three kids for another woman after a minor misunderstanding. Me and my husband got married over six years and we lived so happily. At a certain time my husband started behaving strange.Before I knew what was going on, he left me and go for another woman who works in the same office with him. When I saw the post, I contacted the spell caster on his email and he told me not to worry that my husband will come back to me in two days time once he finish casting the reunite spell. To my greatest surprise, my husband came back to me begging for a second chance.and we are living happily together as one family again. I want to use this medium to let everyone here know that this is real and if you are out there having this same problem please kindly contact Dr.Zaba, the great spell caster via his email {Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com}because he can done the unexpected.Wish you all the Best too! his website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com

  • Andrea Monica

    My name is Andrea Monica.i am here to testify on how Dr.Zaba helped me. I saw a post on a particular site sharing testimony on how these great spell caster brought back her ex. Initially, i thought the post is unreal but I later had a second thought and another person still share his testimony on how he brought back his wife.so i contacted the spell caster as instructed by the post. I have no option than to try my best because my husband left me with my three kids for another woman after a minor misunderstanding. Me and my husband got married over six years and we lived so happily. At a certain time my husband started behaving strange.Before I knew what was going on, he left me and go for another woman who works in the same office with him. When I saw the post, I contacted the spell caster on his email and he told me not to worry that my husband will come back to me in two days time once he finish casting the reunite spell. To my greatest surprise, my husband came back to me begging for a second chance.and we are living happily together as one family again. I want to use this medium to let everyone here know that this is real and if you are out there having this same problem please kindly contact Dr.Zaba, the great spell caster via his email {Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com}because he can done the unexpected.Wish you all the Best too! his website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com ….

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