“In this world, it is too common for people to search for someone to lose themselves in. But I am already lost. I will look for someone to find myself in.”
Human beings are social animals and we thrive and find happiness in community living. Living with people we love, friends, family, that special loved one who we decide to spend our lives with. Money doesn’t and can never buy happiness. If you had loads of money and no one to share it with, would you have been in peace inside? The answer is no. Relationships are the seeds from which happiness germinates from in case of humans. And if you read the above saying and understand it well, it gives you the answer to many questions and dilemmas in life and relationships that all of us look for answers to.
So what are some of the relationship questions that plague our mind and we continuously look for answers to? Two of the most common and popular ones include:
- Who is that special someone for me?
- How do I choose who to spend my life with?
To be honest, for most of us at one point or the other, relationship dilemmas have often been about finding the right person or choosing the right person amidst many. So how does this saying help? What is it trying to tell us? What this above saying is trying to tell us is this:
- How to know who is the right person for you
- How to choose between two or more loved ones for marriage
So what it essentially tries to tell us can be best explained by taking two parts of it separately. Here goes…
Finding Someone You lose yourself in
Yes, it is all too common to search for someone to lose ourselves in. The first feeling of love and the initial waves of sudden unexplainable emotions – The butterfly feeling in the stomach, the not being able to stop looking at that person or stop daydreaming about that person phase, the first meeting and the initial getting to know each other time when anything and everything is magic, where you lose yourself in the thrill of meeting that special person who can take everything out of your mind in one blinding instant. Let us understand why you feel you lose yourself? It is simply because:
- You feel your existence is about nothing else but that person
- You feel you can’t think of anything but that person or the both of you together
- You feel you can do anything for that person, even thing which you can’t do or don’t feel like doing
- You feel you can change yourself completely, your values, beliefs, attitudes, everything that defined you for so long till now. You can change yourself for the one you love
- You feel a general being swept away and off your feet in anything and everything, ushering in a feeling of losing yourself in that person
- You lose the ‘you’ and survive in the ‘us’ feeling. You stop thinking about ‘you’ in singular and start thinking about the both of you together
Think about it. Haven’t you felt like this when you were/are in love? Not one but many more of the above? Aren’t these feelings great? A feeling of exhilaration of true happiness? Isn’t this why you feel you lose yourself in someone and isn’t it precisely why you want to search for someone to lose yourself in? The answer is YES.
The Problem with Losing Yourself
If losing yourself in love is so great, what then is the problem? Why do people once so much in love get hurt so much later on? Why do these initial wonderful feelings never stay on after a while?
The sole reason behind relationships turning so sour and the unbearable pain later on from broken relationships is primarily because you had totally lost yourself in it and now you have nothing left of yourself anymore. Nothing to fall back on, no existence of who you were individual as a person. You lose yourself, your individuality, your self-esteem, your individual hopes and aspirations, purpose, and dreams in life.
So the question at this point then is what is to be done? How do I stop from losing myself in love? But wait. That should not be your question. The right question is that who is that right person for me? The right person for anyone is not the one you lose yourself in, but as the saying says, the one in whom you find yourself!
Finding someone to find yourself in
When you choose a life partner, you are essentially looking for someone who can guarantee your happiness forever. So choose the person carefully. Starting from if you are looking for the right person or you are choosing your life partner from many who are special to you in some way or the other, always go for the person who helps you:
- Find a meaning to life and who you are when you are already lost
- Go through the toughest of times as a real friend, helping you get back your bearing, tell you who you are, your specialties as an individual, what your purpose in life is and how to gain live to fulfill your dreams
- Understand what truly makes you happy
- Understand your own strengths and weaknesses
- Realize your own true potential and give your best to excel in the thing you are good at
- Realize the existence of hidden and secret talents within which you weren’t aware of
- Bring out the positivity in you, in words and action
- In doing things and being someone that brings happiness to other people around you as well
The existence of these precise qualities or rather abilities is going to tell you who you should spend your life with. Hence, for eternal happiness in married life, always look for the one who helps you to find yourself in.
Signs that Show Your Partner Really Loves You
Unconditional love is the first and foremost thing that is expected in a relationship. But how does one know if your partner is madly in love with you? Listed below are some signs which show that your partner indeed loves you a lot.
1. No room for manipulation
If he loves you truly he will never ever manipulate you. His focus will always be your happiness and he will always try to keep you happy and cheerful even in the toughest situations. There is no room lies and manipulation between the two of you.
2. Your happiness makes him happy
His motto in life is if you are happy then he is happy. He will pamper you to keep you happy. It will not only help you with household chores but will also keep you company for your friend’s party just to please you.
3. No D for divorce
All couples have arguments which are good for a healthy relationship. Most of the time he will be the first one to end the argument and cuddle up with you which again indicates that he loves you like mad but if the argument got really nasty even then he will never ever say he wants a divorce. There will be a phase where you both may not talk for days together but eventually he will work out a solution and put all things right and get that smile back on your face.
4. Affection is not age-dependent
Even if you are on the threshold of being categorized as a senior citizen even then he will not hesitate to display affection. A gentle kiss on the cheeks or just holding your hand and saying “don’t worry” is enough to prove that he truly loves you. There is no shortage of hugs and simple I love you in your life.
5. Has all the confidence in this world about you
He will trust you blindly and will never doubt your intentions. He will have amazing confidence about you and will be sure that you will manage the toughest situations in life with ease and God forbid if you do face a failure of any kind he will be there to quickly hold you and will help you jump back and overcome the toughest situations in life.
6. Some Habits are Obvious
If he talks to you, he likes you. Yes, each man talks, however, men do not truly very speak unless they’re taken with you and trust you. Men do a good job of concealing their feelings till they are available across ladies they fall for. Then, they feel way more relaxed to open and share everything or, a minimum of what they concede to be everything.
7. You guys get Cosy and Cuddly with Each Other a lot
He likes to cuddle with you. Underneath traditional circumstances, men wish to cuddle regarding the maximum amount as they wish to speak. However, once it’s somebody special, their cuddle meter goes into overdrive. If a bloke reveals and shows their emotions and their softer facet way more usually then, he is into you. Caring is incontestable. Whereas men are not continually the foremost thoughtful towards the ladies in their lives, you may notice a substantial distinction after they are taken with versus after they are not.
8. Being patient and accepting
Men taken with can place up with such a lot over men United Nations agency are simply geological dating. Geological dating means that there’s not an excessive amount to lose if things are taken badly. However, being taken with means that there’s a way higher level of respect and understanding shown. These qualities yield a larger threshold of patience.
9. Commitment
He shows he desires to hold out with you. If a person is taken with, he desires to be with you, to spend time with you. This usually means that unexpected dates and visits, running overtime once he is aware that he must leave, and going out of his way to building time for you. Relish the attention!
10. Letting you be
In spite of everything, he respects your decisions and lets you be. He doesn’t really interfere with you and allows you the freedom to follow your own lifestyle. You are free to go wherever you want and do whatever you like without worrying about him. This is because he understands you perfectly and lets you find your own way. He doesn’t think of himself as some godfather or protector of you.
How to Make Your Partner Love You Even More
Your partner loves you more when he/she knows that you really value him/her. It is important not to impose yourself on your partner and to make him/her aware of your true feelings.
Accept your partner for what he/she truly is and be more understanding since as soon as the first phase of your love life ends, you must make efforts to take it to another level. Of course, it feels great to be in a relationship that makes you feel alive and brings out the best in you.
1. Plan time away
Plan a family picnic or go visit your relatives for a while since it can give you some time away from your partner. Sometimes you really need to add spark to your relationships and time away from him/her is the best way to do that.
Do not go on sharing all the details over the phone when you are miles away from the love of your life as the motive is to make your partner miss you even more. As they say out of sight out of mind, stay in touch, as you surely do not want him/her to get involved with someone else.
Start sending some sweet messages after a while. Tell your partner that you miss the way he/she holds your hands and cuddles you. The time away from your partner would make him/her want you even more.
2. Know your partner to the core
It is always helpful to know your partner so that you can use the information to give him/her beautiful surprises. You may have to observe him/her closely and make a list of things he/she admires the most.
Do not forget to include the behavior patterns that he admires the most. When you know how he/she usually reacts to particular situations, it’s easier to do things that please him/her the most. Your partner would really appreciate the fact that you can actually read his/her mind. Nonverbal cues that convey the way your partner feels for you prove a great help to understand him/her better.
3. Do not let misunderstanding create a distance
At times, couples find it hard to forgive each other’s mistakes and sometimes put their relationships at stake. It is important that you do not let misunderstandings keep you from loving your partner.
Adopt forgive and forget policy since your love for each other is above everything else. Do not stop communicating since you can always work on issues that create confusion if you two are together and trust each other.
4. Value your partner’s opinion
If you want your relationship to get even more beautiful with time, you must learn to respect his/her opinion. The first and foremost thing that always proves helpful for each relationship is the respect you give to the other person. It is better to compromise when you can and to make decisions that satisfy both of you. Compromising never means that you are weak but it conveys a beautiful message to your partner that you value his/her opinion.
5. Give words to your feelings
Do not let your relationship get monotonous with time. Be innovative when you plan a date with your partner and do something that he/she really appreciates. Do not hesitate to share your true feelings or inner desires.
It is true as time goes by your partner actually starts knowing you even better but expecting him/her to know the way you feel even before you utter up a word is crazy. Do not hesitate to ask what you want as assumptions you make can take your love life in an altogether different direction.
Do not share all the details about yourself with your partner especially in the beginning since less is always more in romantic relationships. Make yourself aware of his/her habits, likings, and values so that you can make a special corner for yourself in his/her heart.
