The end of the relationship between a woman and a man is very painful in many cases. Very often the final break-up conversation is highly emotional and full of negative energy. The confrontation and the silence for the first time after the break-up are eloquent: two people have moral wounds. It is the time to think whether the reason is serious enough for the final break-up. Ordinary misunderstanding or wrong personal opinions can be the cause of the quarrels.
Humans are not perfect. Even the sexual betrayal is not the definite reason to finish relationships forever. We have a gift to forgive and to be forgiven.
But if the break-up is the resolved matter and there is no chance to rescue these relationships, how to cope with this emotionally stressful time? There is an opinion that for the moral recovery you need half of time of the duration of those relationships. Obviously, it depends on the persons, on how long lasted the relationships and how deep were their feelings. For instance, Russian brides are much more emotional than Western women and they can’t easily forget their partner or husband for years.
Anyway, time is healing it. Later, most probably, you will keep the good memories about that happy period of your life.
Quite naturally, some very personal and deep emotions concern you directly. The worst thing to do is to feel sorry for yourself. The anger and the resentment hurt only you. It is better to think logically and admit the fact as it is. Tell yourself you are strong and it is not the end of the world.
To rebuild your life after the breakup, get rid of all objects reminding you about your ex: pictures, videos, gifts, etc. Erase the ex’s phone number. Break contacts with your ex’s friends, even if they are good. To help you restore your sense of self, get the person out of your mind, who didn’t see everything you were worth. The negative and destructive feelings are useless and harmful. If the relationships were strong, it is impossible to forget the ex at once. The matter is not forgetting, but preserving positive memories and evaluating the good results of the break-up. This is freedom and experience.
Under such circumstances, psychologists advise making notes of the positive background you still have after the break-up. It will distract you from the sad thoughts. When finished, your list of advantages will not be short. When you read your notes of how much positivity you still have, you will feel better at once.
Think about your future potential relationships and the ways to avoid the same disappointments that already happened. Reasonable egoism doesn’t include the distress and deep grief, but the selfish evaluation of positive changes in the life. You are surely not interested in making yourself bad. May be you were too much focused on your ex? Now, you have to focus on yourself. Do you think you have lost your soulmate? No, your best soulmate is in your mirror. Do you wish happiness to yourself? Of course, yes. Life is going on. Surely, you deserve to get pleasure from living.
You have to realize that only one chapter of your life is turned off, and it is time to start writing the new one. Meeting parents or relatives is a good idea. Your family loves you with no doubt, and you could discuss with them everything you want. Your parents were young and they experienced the same things before. They can give a wise advice.
Make fun with friends and try to think in a positive way. The girls are usually getting tons of pleasure by shopping. Have you got a job? It is very good time to plunge into the work routine and finish the dull affairs that you intended to do, but you had no time or desire. May be you better even change the job.
Change the furniture in your room, make a new haircut, cook a new yummy dish and invite somebody to taste it. Traveling to the beautiful places, may be situated not so far, would be good as well, because the human should admire beautiful people and things as often as possible, especially during the emotional disturbance. Searching for somebody to meet is possible too. Do something that makes this new chapter of your life completely different from the last one. Evaluate how you would live in the different way.
Many people develop the penchant for strong liquors after the break-up. But alcohol won’t make things better. A little positive point in alcohol remains in the sincere talking with somebody. This is a kind of social therapy. But the larger doses of alcohol is harmful for mental and physical health as well. Simply realize that you must get over this break-up sooner or later. Of course, it would be better to get out of it as soon, as possible.
Article Submitted By Community Writer
