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What is Grief or Sadness (and How Can Your Overcome it)

Sadness makes you pessimistic

What is Grief?

Grief, as simple as the word may sound, it is harsh, delusive and depressive for the individual who has to go through the tragic process of bereaving some loss, whether it is an end of a long term relationship or death. And the truth is that people around us can constantly tell us we will get over it, while it’s only the mourner who knows how his/her life has changed after the incident.

Nevertheless, the fact is that today or tomorrow, you will have to deal with the grief and move on, even if you have a void in your life. Grief is one such reality that needs to be faced that every individual at one point of time or the other. As long as stay alive, we will have different circumstances were will grieve and mourn.

Grief, especially after the trauma of losing a special someone is a winding road, where on a number of occasions you will fall back to the point where you started. Recovering from grief is a long, painful process where every moment you will want a numbing feeling to take over, to ease the pain which otherwise is so overwhelming that it makes you depressive.

 

The Five Stages of Grief

Grief follows five stages, each stage arriving at a different point of time, sweeping our emotions, and leading us to the path of recovery. Grief, it starts with denial, the nonacceptance of the tragedy of loss. Then it’s the anger, the whole fight with the lord and the doctor and even the dead. You will bargain, try to trade something for the loss, and feel guilty because of the tragedy. But sooner or later, these stages will take you to the stage of acceptance, where you will understand and accept the loss, try to move on.

 

How to Successfully Overcome Grief or Sadness

Whether major or minor, there are many instances that can cause sadness or grief, which is normal in everyone’s life. We must learn to be more at ease with such feelings, as it can otherwise affect our mind and health adversely. Here are some ways in which you can deal with sadness in a healthy manner:

1. Identify the problems

People suffering from sadness are often advised not to think about the problems, just do something else. Though it might provide some temporary relief, in the long run,, this is going to make the situation even worse. It is like someone closes his eyes in the mid of a day and says it is night. The right thing to do is to have a positive approach and try to identify the problems responsible for creating this situation. After identifying, one needs to realize if his problems can be solved, if yes, then there is no need to be sad and if they can’t be solved, then being sad won’t help.

2. Maintain a positive outlook towards life

This is the first step towards dealing with unhappiness. You must develop and maintain a positive outlook on life. Condemn negativity in all forms. Do not let negative thoughts evolve in your mind making you unhappy. If the company of certain people makes you feel miserable or fill in negativity in your mind, avoid that company. Try to find out the positive side in all situations. Start appreciating yourself and your life. Count the virtues that you have. Make a goal for yourself and work towards achieving it. Celebrate every little milestone that you achieve in life. Instead of concentrating on your flaws or failures think about the appreciating qualities you have and the success you have achieved.

3. Look at the blessings you have

Sometimes a person is so much occupied with his sadness, that he forgets about all the blessings and good things, he has in his life. One should always be thankful for what is with him. One should look at the people who are more unfortunate than him and not at those who are more well off than him. This brings the contentment in the heart, like if a person who has no shoes to wear should look at someone who has no feet.

4. Challenge your negative thoughts

Sadness makes you pessimistic and everything you come across is taken in a negative light. Even the way you perceive yourself, your present and even your future all are viewed in a negative manner. No matter how hard you try to stop yourself from thinking with a pessimistic mind, happy thoughts just don’t cut the negative trail of thoughts. The best way to cut out sadness and the negativity would be to challenge your negative thoughts and to find something positive connected to them. Instead of gloating upon someone’s harsh words, try to think about what good they had to offer.

Battling yourself into accepting the negativity in a healthy and positive manner can most certainly reduce the sadness that you feel. Try to look at the brighter side of challenges and try to be optimistic while facing any adverse situation, whether minor or major. Jot down all your negative thoughts and pen down what you could learn out of them and how you could make them better. Challenging yourself to accept the negativity in a brighter and optimistic manner would make you a happier person always.

5. Stay close to your family

There is nothing more beautiful and joyous than spending quality time with your near and dear ones. Spending time with family can be your route to achieving happiness in life. So, spend as much time as you can with your family, and whoever else matters to you. Go for outings with them, take them for movies and dinner, go for a vacation together, or simply stay back at home and have a gala time enjoying a cozy chat with them. Try to make them happy in whichever way possible. By helping them and making them happy you will bring a smile on their lips which would fill your heart with contentment and happiness.

6. Go out with friends

Often when people are sad they confine themselves to closed rooms thinking all day about their problems. This causes them to get into a “horrible chain of thoughts” situations and they don’t seem to get out of this cycle. You should know that isolating yourself in your home and shunning social activity will not help you overcome your sadness, rather it will aggravate your loneliness. Your thought process will be never-ending when you are alone and might impact your mental health adversely. So, if you are feeling very low and sad, then it will help to have friends around you.

Arrange a get-together or go on a picnic with your close buddies and talk your heart out to them! Also, try to remain with friends who can encourage you and stay away from those who are discouraging as that can affect your subconscious mind in a terrible way. Encouraging words from friends will definitely have a positive effect on you and you might just have lots of fun as well. Pamper yourself and your friends with presents when you are feeling sad, because the smile you will see on their faces will definitely make you happy. Go to a spa with your best friend for relaxation and rejuvenation.

7. Get yourself a pet

If you are going through a loss of a loved one, then you might want to get back some love into your life by adopting a pet. Nothing can replace human connection, but pets can truly bring back some joy in your lives. The companionship that pets offer will make you feel less isolated as you start tending to its needs. Caring for a pet will help you to leave the four walls in which you have been confining yourself and also help you interact with people whilst your out taking a walk. With a pet, you will regain the sense of being needed and will definitely perk you up and make you happier. Studies also support that people having pets are less likely to suffer from stress or depression.

8. Maintain good health

Only a healthy body can be the host to a healthy mind. If you want to deal with your unhappiness and become happy, then you must take care of your body. In other words, remaining healthy is a prerequisite to remaining happy. If you are suffering from illnesses or are physically unfit, then unhappiness would continuously accompany you and perturb you. So, take good care of your health. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, exercise regularly, follow a healthy and nourishing diet, get yourself proper sleep, and keep away from anything and everything that can deteriorate your health condition.

9. Exercise to release your “happy hormones”

Exercising is a great stress buster and when you exercise, your body releases special “happy hormones” called endorphins (even foods could help you with the same). These endorphins can actually improve your mood and make you happy from within. Not only does exercise release endorphins, but it also helps in maintaining a regular appetite as well as a sleep schedule, which is extremely important. You could do yoga, work out in the gym, go out for a walk, or even play your favorite sport. Another trick to feeling good and happy would be to eat chocolate which would surely spruce up your mood.

10. Take time out for yourself

To deal with unhappiness you must take time out for yourself. You might have a very busy lifestyle and might not have sufficient time to spend in isolation. But for a healthy and happy mind, it is important that you spare some time to exclusively spend all by yourself. A part of your time with yourself should be spent taking care of yourself. A person needs to take care of himself apart from maintaining a good diet and exercising regularly. You must spend time grooming yourself and making a conscious effort of improving your appearance. A big part of unhappiness is dealt with and defeated when a person looks and feels good about himself. At the same time, you should also engage in activities that you love to do. Take time out for your hobbies and passions. Learn new things that you find interesting. Participate in activities that make you feel good and happy. Listen to good music that has a happy tone or encouraging lyrics.

11. Enjoy the small pleasures of life

The little pleasures of life are the biggest foes of unhappiness. Hence, learn to enjoy the small pleasures of daily life. For enjoying the little pleasures of life, you must learn to let go of the past. Try to forget all events that bring unhappy or sad memories in your mind. Anything that makes you unhappy is not worth remembering. Do not regret anything that occurred in your past. It is also extremely important to forgive people who have done wrong with you or have hurt you. Keeping resentments, grievances or hard feelings for anyone in your heart would only help you to become angry and make you more unhappy. So, forgive and forget to enjoy the good things that life offers to you. Try to make everyone around you happy and help people who need it. By doing this you would find satisfaction and a sense of contentment that would help you to fight back your unhappiness.

12. Do some social service

Doing some selfless social service in an anonymous manner would definitely boost your mood and give you a general feeling of happiness and contentment. Volunteering at a shelter or teaching slum dwellers would definitely help you to connect to God and thank him for your good fortune. Losing yourself in trying to help the less fortunate, would help you to overcome your sadness and problems. In this way, you would be able to overcome your grief, whilst trying to help those who are striving in life.

 

Final Words

Sadness occurs in everyone’s life as life has ups and downs but the way we react towards the sadness is important. We should not let the sadness to reach the depression stage. We should find a support group and help ourselves and others to handle grief. At the same time, stay away from the addiction or people that might be causing us grief.

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