In every relationship, people tend to bring their own baggage. Most of the time, it is one’s experience with his past relationships that help create a better bond between him and his current loved one. Disappointments will be inevitable in this kind of relationship, but in most cases, these are what help pave a much stronger connection between partners.
However, there are times when a person perceives flaws from his partner, and these may prove to be unhealthy with their connection. There may come certain times when an individual thinks too much on the little details, such as his partner’s height, appearance, education, and even the way his date drinks or eats.
People are meant to make mistakes, and one of these is trying to find that significant other whom they think is the perfect mate mirroring their own personality.
How to Make Your Relationship Strong and Long-Lasting
Being in a love relationship is beautiful, but being in a meaningful and lasting love relationship is blissful. A relationship that is loaded with love, respect, care, freedom, and fun but only a few couples manage to have such a relationship. This means there are some qualities a couple must have in order to make their relationship a lasting one. Here are some tips for you, which will make you have a similar relationship:
1. Don’t expect your partner to be perfect
There’s no such thing as the perfect partner. Many already know this statement, but somehow choose not to apply. At first, having someone who has every characteristic a certain individual is looking for could make things a lot interesting. But eventually, that ‘connection’ would not build-up, and that certain interest with each other will soon fade away little by little, making the relationship dull.
From the perspective of a person who has had many experiences with different love relationships, a more applicable approach would be to find the right partner who understands his own imperfections. To embrace and try to improve one’s own defects makes relationships work much better.
2. Embrace the other’s flaws
Disagreements will always happen within couples, and some even on a level where both sides dig up defects that aggravate the situation.
But as these are overcome, each would learn to embrace the other’s flaws, in which case communication serves vital to building up their love relationship.
3. Communicate
To communicate is to understand the other person much better. In every love relationship, sharing feelings, dreams, and other stuff is important so as not to get into any fights because of misunderstandings.
In cases where one feels upset about something, the best thing to do is settle down and only communicate with his partner until he has the right peace of mind to avoid unwanted arguments. It also helps to let the other person know how one’s feeling with less talk.
4. Let your true self come out
A true relationship gives you the freedom to be your true self. You do not find a need to put your mask on or to pretend to be someone else since you know your partner loves and accepts you. It feels quite liberating and helps you accept your faults, which further paves for happiness.
5. Speak your heart out
You can share your innermost feelings with your partner. Those couples who feel that their partners must understand them even when they do not share anything eventually get disappointed. You must give words to your feelings, as it strengthens your bond.
6. Trust each other
A relationship has to be based on trust, which takes time and effort on your part too. You have to try to understand your partner and make happy memories. True relationships make you believe that you have someone to hold you every time you fall. You have the love and support of your partner to strengthen your efforts to get success in life.
7. Be happy
Happiness actually stems from within you. When you feel safe and secure you tend to feel happy. You feel more like yourself and complete. A true relationship enables you to stay strong when you face adversities of life. Those who believe in fairytale-like love must not close eyes to the real world. You may have arguments and disagreement over hundreds of issues but that does not keep you from sharing a laugh together.
8. Focus on mutual happiness
Both partners should feel happy and content as they have each other to support them. It is never about one person. You must make important decisions about your life together. Happy couples support each other’s decisions come what may. They know that their partner’s happiness is their responsibility and do not leave a single stone unturned to keep a smile on their partner’s face.
9. Be with each other
Life seems a joy ride when you have your partner by your side. You know that you have someone to support you at each pint of time. Each challenge life throws at you seems another reason to be together to strengthen each other’s efforts and to come out as winners. Each day brings countless reasons to be happy when you are together and life is full of beautiful surprises.
10. Avoid blame games
There is actually no place for blame games in true relationships as you believe in working together to rectify the mistakes regardless of who made it. You know that blaming your partner is actually blaming yourself. True relationships help you look at the brighter aspects of your life. You find it easy to take mutual responsibility for things that have gone wrong instead of blaming your partner.
11. Criticism with good intentions
It is not that you do not point out the mistakes of your partner but each criticism has good intentions behind it. You wish the best for your partner and help them work on problem areas. If your partner fails to appreciate your efforts and always try to find faults than it must ring the bell.
Life is always full of troubles of all kinds but the love and support of your partner give you hope that everything is going to be all right eventually. Life actually seems a joy ride when you have a loving partner to hold you close.
12. Change
Change plays a huge role in every love relationship, and if it’s an eternal love that you seek, you may want to begin reframing your perception with such a relationship. In the view of many people, there’s no need to worry when they see the relationship working, but at times of hardships, they come to the conclusion that being with their partner is a huge mistake.
A lot of individuals know that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies living life as a couple. But only a few can accept this reality and learn to truly embrace how such situations could build stronger bonds.
13. Self-sacrifice will strengthen your relationship
There are some people who believe that self-sacrifice is the way to a lasting relationship.
However, there will come a time that the relationship is not healthy anymore, and in the end, the one doing self-sacrifice could end up losing his or her own identity because of the wrong idea of thinking such sacrifice as an act of love.
14. Don’t give up
Many individuals tend to give up things they want to do, the dreams they want to achieve, friends they want to interact with, and even thoughts they want to believe in. Harmony in a relationship is not attained through seeing your partner when you’re facing the mirror.
What you’ll get in being more like your significant other is a loss of self-worth, which is damaging to the relationship and to you.
15. Have passion in what you do
Passion is one of the most important factors that keep a relationship a lot more interesting and longer-lasting. It serves as a very strong adhesive that enhances the connection between the two lovers and reflects the true condition of the relationship.
16. Flexibility is the key
Being single and being in a relationship are two very different scenarios. When you are single, all you think about is your liking, priority, and everything. On the other hand, when you are in a relationship, it calls for a different internal program that accounts for a relationship’s success.
You need to leave your self-centered approach, or else there is no chance that you get to experience a blissful relationship in life. You need to reprogram your thinking, as you have to have respect for your partner’s thoughts and feelings as well.
17. Emotional independence is important
For making a relationship last, you need to be emotionally independent. This does not mean that you should be emotionally detached. It is about feeling good when you get your partner’s emotional support and not sulking at all when you do not. When one or both partners start sulking at such issues, it serves as a potential danger that sometimes manages to curtail a relationship’s life. You can try something like solo traveling every once in a while to be emotionally independent.
18. Value your partner’s presence
You must value your partner’s presence and must show it through your actions. It is a fact that if a person feels that he is important in someone’s life, this realization makes one go the extra mile to make that person happy. Therefore, valuing your partner is something that benefits you and your relationship as a whole.
19. Learn to forget/forgive
Forgetting and forgiving are two powerful values that help make a relationship meaningful and long-lasting. You must learn to forgive your partner and the same goes for your partner as well. If you feel forgiving is tough, you can try forgetting as well. It is easier and serves the same purpose as forgiving does.
20. Value the “Me Time”
As much as it is important for partners to give each other adequate time, it is important for them to give each other the “Me Time” as well. The time when one gathers their thoughts, be it with friends or doing anything that one likes. One should value their own “Me Time,” as such people automatically value other’s “Me Time” as well.
5 Ways Arguments Could Actually Help Your Relationship
Family counsellors and old couples will unanimously agree that arguments are part of being in a relationship and can hardly be avoided. However, it is how the argument is resolved is what strengthens it to stand the test of time.
1. Aggression and passion
Passion and aggression are two sides of a coin when there is one, the other is there too. However, it would be wrong to assume that aggression in a relationship is a bad thing; ironically it enables couples to be frank with one another and open about their opinions. In the course of an argument, a person exposes his/her most vulnerable side, and hence it strengthens the bond between the couple.
2. Stress-free
As per a study by matrimonial website Shaadi.com and market research agency IMRB, fighting and finding constructive resolutions to problems strengthens a relationship. 44% of the respondents to the study, which was conducted in India, claimed that fighting helped keep the channels of communication open. It helped them relieve stress building from bottling up their frustration or anger over issues.
3. Improved Intimacy
It might be considered a relationship quirk, but many couples get turned on by a healthy fight and end up have great make-up sex. It also opens doors for communication and resolving issues that have been left latent between the couple. It is often said that any issue between couples must be resolved and before they go to bed at night, they must forgive one another rather than carry the bad mood to the next day.
4. Avoiding Conflicts and its toll on the relationship
Often, one of the couples adopts the faking sleep strategy to avoid conflict or the silent treatment. Ignoring the issue and let it lie as the silent elephant in the room is unhealthy as it leaves many unresolved issues that will create doubt and suspicion. No matter how tricky the issue is, couples must resolve the issue, even if it means a fight.
5. A healthy argument and an unhealthy face-off
The basis of any strong relationship must be in trust, mutual respect, and unfettered love. A couple that knows that no issue can get bigger than their relationship knows where to draw the line and how to control their verbal outrage even if they are extremely angry. Also, one of the two has to lose the argument so that the relationship wins.
6. Easy to Deal with Difficult Situation
Finally, humor helps in dealing with the most serious situation, and though movies portray being married as a happy ending, that is where the rocky road begins. Living life with a person is simple if you can give one another space, respect each other’s opinions, and expect each other’s shortcomings and move on from the conflict.
