Making a complaint about somebody or something may not be as effective as a request to take action can be. Thus, it is very important that you start translating your complaints into action requests that are more result-oriented. It is also important to explain the requests you make so others may cooperate with you in a better way. Prefer to ask for what you want but in an actionable manner. Make use of positive language that is specific to a situation and is oriented toward stated actions. A complaint is usually a generalized question about don’ts and why’s. That would actually not seem to be so polite.
Many people simply prefer to complain, as it does not make them vulnerable. If they change their complaint to seeking help with an action, then they feel more vulnerable in front of the people in conversation with them. Thus, many people find it hard to request for action. While they feel that a request would be turned down, it may not be the case. In fact, a complaint can make the listener defensive.
That is the reason most listeners do not want to cooperate with complainers. You may receive better cooperation in a situation when you do not complain and simply ask for help on a matter. The risk of your complaint or request being turned down always exists. Do not shy away from that risk as it is a necessity.
In case of an action-oriented request, the chances of it being turned down actually decrease. Your listener would be more attentive and willing to help you. You just require putting your statement in a skillful manner. When you complain, your listener would only focus on defending their case, saving face or criticizing you. Thus, they lose their energy to pay enough attention to your complaint.
They actually do not feel safe while talking to you. In contrast, they find it easier and more comfortable to listen to you when you provide them action steps and request them to take those steps. They may actually like to listen to your problem and try to solve it.
The condition of complaining is never like an ordinary conversation. It involves emotions and high energy at times. Thus, people might like to escape out of such situations. In case you change a complaint to an action request, your listener would like to play a different role of a problem solver.
They concentrate on the real problem instead of defending themselves or criticizing you. You should tell them what actions you would like them to take so a problem can be solved effectively. If you start complaining to your listener, they might feel embarrassed or develop feelings of self-doubt in some cases. Many listeners even take a general issue and make it personal. Thus, it is very important that your listener does not feel threatened by the situation you create for them.
Your complaint can additionally lead to a conflicting situation. It could also confuse your listener if you put it across in a vague manner. To have a fruitful conversation, it is very important to be clear about what you actually ask for. Your tone of voice is another factor that positively changes when you turn your complaints into action-oriented requests. An explanatory way of putting across a statement can make the other person cooperate better with you.
When you make a request, you may also explain how their cooperation would help you. When there is clarity without any threat, then your listener would surely be willing to help. Transforming your complaints into requests for action can also make you appear as a more mature and sensible individual.
