It might be human nature and might also be the natural cycle of the universe, but somehow we acknowledge and appreciate certain things only when we are close to losing it. It might be the smallest of things, which till the moment it was lost or nearing its loss, not much appreciation was given.
However, such a scenario is both applicable and not applicable in the case of loved ones. Truly speaking, losing a loved one for some sort of a terminal illness or to some accident is somehow worse than losing your own life. The cycle of pain and feeling of loss and distress starts right from where your loved one falls sick and sticks around long after whatever the aftermath of such a diagnosis are found to be.
Your best Hope
The first feeling that someone unfortunate enough to lose a loved one has to face is plain helplessness. This tendency is really not as uncommon as it seems. After all, there is the pain to handle along with the subsequent treatments and other procedures to follow for some sort of treatment. However, apart from tearing apart and crying, what really can you say or do in order to support and take care of your loved one?
First of all, you have to believe or at least make-belief that your relationship will in no way change after such a diagnosis. You have to be the pillar on which your really sick loved one can lean. Try to keep things as normal as possible. Remember to always play to your strengths.
The second step is to make sure that your loved one knows and understands that you will always be there for her/him. Deliberately alienating or putting off facing the proper issues will result in further degradation of your loved one’s death. Just your presence might encourage and be responsible for your loved one’s will to live.
The Proper Way of Handling Denial
You might as well remind yourself that plenty of things will need your attention. One such thing is the patient’s acceptance or denial in taking stock of the situation. However, be prepared to make exceptions to general rules. There is a good chance that denial works as a survival strategy. Give sometime and there is a good chance that the reality will be accepted by your loved once.
Make sure however that this denial does not end up harming the person. Similarly, driving hard facts home with force may have harmful effects too.
