Popular singer Justin Timberlake may not be exactly known for his wit but he did say – “Gossip is called gossip because it’s not always the truth”.
Gossip can prove to be instrumental in killing off a good friendship built upon the foundations of love and trust. It is absolutely unproductive and rather destructive. In spite of knowing that it is far from right, many of you love to gossip. You cannot really help it; it is sort of a common group mentality. There is a different kind of thrill in getting together with a bunch of friends and repeating something you know you are not supposed to be repeating. Something about engaging in talk over other people’s lives is really tempting. Even if you ask people to keep the piece of gossip to themselves and not spread it around, this rarely occurs.
What Usually Happens
A really spicy topic is rich fodder for gossip and it is bound to escape your lips sooner or later and start doing the customary rounds in the different circles that you are a part of. In most cases, it is seen that a story which may have resembled the truth to a large degree in the beginning will end up becoming an altogether different version with no hint of the truth, after it has been retold a number of times.
Bonding with Buddies…without Gossip
It is a common misconception to believe that gossiping is the only effective way to bond with your buddies. Most of you meet up with your pals and share stories or incidents which normally involve your other acquaintances.
No one ever stops to think for even a fraction of a second the consequences of spreading a story which they were most likely told in full confidence. Sometimes, you might be on the receiving end and feel hurt. But have you ever considered that if you yourself cannot keep a secret, it is highly unlikely that the person you are spilling all your deepest, darkest secrets to in confidence will respect your privacy.
Impact on Your Reputation
If you meet up with a good friend with the sole intention of gossiping about others behind their backs, it is quite possible that the other person is doing the very same thing by going behind your back and spreading stuff about you to others. There could be people who are talking about you at this very moment, spreading facts that may or may not be true. But most often, rumours are spread which is even more harmful.
As soon as people get inkling that you are prone to indulging in gossip, they will approach you – not because they want to get to know you better but rather because they think of you as a source of interesting information. Not one of these individuals is going to be able to put their trust in you as a real friend. You have already spread the message loud and clear that you will betray the confidence of even your closest friends for the sake of a juicy scoop. Even if you succeeding in making friendships know that, they are far from real friendships. In the end, you cannot get yourself to believe in the people you interact with and the same case applies for them.
When you finally come to find out that others have been indulging in gossip which relates to you, especially if they happen to be people that you believed you could entrust with the truth, those friendships are most likely going to be lost for all time to come. In fact, you may be so much hurt by the damage that you may find it quite difficult to get yourself to trust anyone ever again.
How to Prevent Gossip
One of the most effective ways to stop you from indulging in gossip is to keep yourself busy. Gossip can only happen if you have nothing constructive to do in your life. For lack of anything better to do, you are prone to pick up your phone and give your friend a call just so that you can talk about someone else. With the advent of technology, gossip has spilled online too. Being involved in some activity that you find interesting is a great way to minimize your chances of getting involved in rumours. If you have tons of things on your plate, you will not get much time for other senseless things. These activities will demand much of your attention.
Take into account your own interests right at the beginning. Before you think about others, give some thought to yourself. Most often you will find that you tend to gossip about others since you cannot find anything interesting to discuss about your own life. If that is truly the case, then it is time for you to pick up a unique hobby, tackle sports or start catching up on reading, Traveling can also help as can taking part in volunteer work or organizing charity events. These will not only keep you busy, but will also work to your advantage in the long run by increasing your sense of self-esteem or self-awareness.
You also need to trim down on your sources of gossip. Make an active effort to stop reading the blogs of your friends unless to appreciate it. Avoid watching television soaps, reading magazines and gossip tabloids or even contacting acquaintances who you know simply love to gossip. Unless you can truly distance yourself from the sources of gossip, you will find it hard to get rid of your habit.
If you cannot truly shut out the outside influences, you can at least ignore the gossip which is coming your way. It is totally up to you whether you pay attention to it or not. You may listen but stop yourself from offering a side comment or reaction. Try changing the topic if you can. A new topic for discussion is a great way to put an end to gossip.
Being brutally honest is a good idea if you are not a fan of gossip. Tell your friends the same if they start sharing something with you. You could try being nice instead too. Gossip happens to be negative and a positive influence can limit the power of gossip.
Walk away if all else fails. Come up with a solid excuse but make sure you leave as soon as you can. Try and get rid of your insecurities since gossip often feeds upon it.
