By Jamal Albayaa
Choosing a life direction
How does one set a good goal to achieve all the things that they want from life? It’s a flustering question and the first thing on everyone’s mind is “I simply don’t know where to start.”
Whether you want to sleep better, get fit, make more money, or learn a language, you have to realize that you may never get there unless you know exactly where there is. I’ve seen so many friends of mine talk about their goals in life. “I want to get rich,” or “I want to win the lottery!” but no matter how much they say it, they never actually get anywhere with it. They never achieve their goals because they’re not sure what their goals even are. One week they want to get rich, the next week they want to learn jazz trombone, and the week after that they want nothing more than to be able to relax and enjoy the sun. Rather than doing all of them in harmony, they clash and contradict each other and the person spends all their time frantically trying to choose between the 3… and deciding on nothing, in the end.
Why is that?
A lot of reasons; maybe they lose confidence in their original choice, or they lose interest. Maybe they’ve given up because they feel like it’s impossible. One thing is for certain, if your goals aren’t SMART goals, then there’ll never be a first step, and they may never get done. what is a SMART goal though? It’s;
Specific, Meaningful, Achievable, Relevant, and Time- Bound.
You know the reoccurring problem I hear from people again and again, SMART goals or not? Is that they’re just too busy.
In other words – distracted.
And I don’t blame them. There’s so many things to think about and deal with in life today that it’s hard to focus on just any one thing. Life seems to be messes of distractions and disturbances that are all trying to drive us away from what we really want. Determined, in fact. (The thing you have to remember is that you’re more determined than they are.) Friends, family, your job, they all could be called culprits here, but they’re not the bad guys. They’re not to be ignored, but they’re the excuses people go to when failure happens.
Worst of all is the internet. You know that in the year 2000 (before the social media buzz) the average attention span was 20 minutes? That seems like light years now, because in 2009 it was recorded to be 9 seconds on average. Less than that of the average goldfish. You know what you should do if this is your problem? Go outside. Turn off your cellphone for ten minutes, leave those pesky business emails alone, and just relax. Have yourself some “me time.” See how much you enjoy it. After weeks of getting caught up in always having to do something, anything, without ever really getting anywhere, your mind will thank you. Relax. Breathe. Slow down. Focus.
When you’re setting a goal, you have to make sure it’s what you really want. I can’t stress this enough. Make sure your goal is what you REALLY want. If it’s not as important to you as breathing, some would argue it’s not even worth doing.
If you’re going to set any goals, the motivation and will to complete them has to come from within. You have to be waking up every day with it on your mind, and the reasons for having the goal have to really make sense to you. In your mind, this goal will make you happier both while achieving it and once you do achieve it. In this case, the journey is as important as the destination. Once you find something like that, pick it, stick with it, and achieve it. Let’s use the gym as your goal: To stay focused…
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– Make sure it’s specific. “Get ripped” is a weak goal. “Lose 10 pounds” is a strong one. How are you supposed to get there if you don’t know where there really is?
– Make sure it’s meaningful. It has to be important to you and it has to have significant value in some way. You have to be inspired by it naturally, and you probably want to feel accomplished once it’s completed.
– Make sure it’s achievable, if it’s a goal you don’t see yourself ever really getting, you’ll never give it your all. Remember – an impossible goal is just a whole bunch of possible ones done in succession. You can do it. For example, instead of going to the gym every day, or even 4 times a week, just promise yourself you’ll go 13 times a month, that way you won’t punish yourself for going 3 times in a week instead of 4.
– Make sure it’s relevant. Learning jazz trombone is a great idea. Especially if you’re already musically inclined. If you’re NOT musically inclined, jazz trombone is a great way to practice that. However if you just saw a jazz trombone player on the street one day and decided to try it, you’ll more often than not fizz out in a couple weeks.
– Make sure it’s time-bound! This will make it more interesting, more challenging, and more specific. If “get ripped” is a weak goal, and “lose 10 pounds” is a strong one, then “Lose 10 pounds in 8 weeks” is a really strong one! Also, make sure to not make your time bound goals too big. Who knows where you’ll be in 6 months. Not only does this make goals easier to chew, but it forces you to constantly reevaluate your goals, ensuring that you know what you want.
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