Life is all about love. If you distant yourself a little bit from all the hustles and bustles of daily survival and take a step back and ask yourself what would make you truly happy, the answer most likely would always be a person and not a thing. A human being is happiest when he/she finds true love or bees with the one he / she loves. It brings out the best in them. But, what if you do not know who that person is? What do you do then? Let us take a look at these two extremely common life crossroads where most of us find ourselves in.
Crossroad 1: You have none.
Crossroad 2: You have both.
In crossroad one that many of us are in, you are alone and haven’t yet found that person in your life. You are looking to find someone, that person who you love and who equally loves you back to settle down with. How do you choose? You might be dating a few people or your family and friends might be suggesting eligible matches to you but how do you choose?
In Crossroad 2, a life situation that is all too common in a person’s life, you have two or more special persons and you don’t know who to choose. It might be two individuals in love with you both of whom you like and have a special bond with. Or it might be a situation where you need to choose between a third person and your already committed partner. Choices between love are said to be one of the most difficult and crucial decisions of life. How do you choose one person from the other, when you have a soft corner for both? What do you do when you’re torn between having to choose between two relationships which are equally special to you?
The Solution:
The only solution to this dilemma of life, the only decision making tool that gives you the highest chance of future happiness and peace is to be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you. This is perhaps the only question to ask and the only answer you should look for when having to make decisions in relationship matters.
The Thin line of demarcation:
If you think about it, there’s a very thin line of demarcation between ‘drawing out the best’ and ‘generating stress’ effects that one person has on his or her partner. But this is probably the most important aspect that an individual needs to assess in his or her relationships. So what and why this thin line of difference and how to really understand this?
Assess what do you ‘FEEL’ inside?
Sit down alone in a dark corner of your room and just think this through. That’s all that is required to understand the difference. Think about it…how do you exactly feel? Think about your work as well as the relationship. Think about the work you do whether at home or outside…When you’re getting up every morning and getting ready for work, whether you’re selling products to clients, or designing a new building, preparing for a court case or just cooking at home…how does it make you feel? Are you pressurized to do well in order to get that necessary self-worth or are you feeling happily motivated to put in extra effort so that you’re partner is proud of you? There’s a huge difference. ‘Having to do’ out of stress and ‘feeling like doing’ are two sides of the story. Think about this again…is the relationship stressing you out? Are you constantly under pressure to meet expectations in the relationship?
Always remember that the right person is the one who would want to ‘make you’ feel like doing that extra bit whether in the relationship or in your own personal work. Someone who knows and understand who you really are and your strengths and respects you for that. Someone, for whom you would want to do things and not ‘having to do things’. Again, a very thin line of difference that people miss out but essentially a huge one!
Bringing out your best
So how do you know whether he or she is bringing out the best in you? How do you assess what you feel? Below are some questions that act as check points or guides to help you understand whether its your best or stress that is being drawn out from you. An incredible tool to give you answers that would love your problems in life.
- Do you feel motivated and happy going about your work or are you excessively tired all the time and feel that all that you need is a vacation somewhere alone without having to do anything?
- Do you feel like going out of way in doing something special for him / her? Like cook a surprise snack or create a DIY gift out of home stuff?
- Do you feel that you are a more kinder and generous human being when you’re around him/ her?
- Do you think ‘Oh, He/she’s gonna be proud of me’ and have a smile on your face when you are doing something new in your own work at office?
- Does that person tell you that he / she loves you exactly for who you are and would be by your side no matter what?
- Does that person has a gleam in his / her eyes when you do something good and tell you how proud he / she is and respects your strengths?
And finally….
- Can you call him/her your best friend?
There might be good looking people who you can’t take your eyes off, and there might be pocket-heavy decent persons who look to be solutions to a worry-free future but with time one finds that the only way towards a worry-free happy future, a journey towards inner peace is by taking steps holding the hand of someone who truly loves you and who brings out the best in you, and not stress.
