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Marriage is a bond of love and trust. But, selfishness can replace these essential elements and spread bitterness among people. And, when one a wife has to live with a selfish husband, life becomes very challenging for her. Here, for you, we have discusse

How to deal with a selfish husband

Marriage is a bond of love and trust. But, selfishness can replace these essential elements and spread bitterness among people. And, when one a wife has to live with a selfish husband, life becomes very challenging for her. Here, for you, we have discussed some important ways which will help you deal with your husband, and lead a happily married life.

Try to express yourself

It is really troublesome when a wife has to confront a selfish husband regularly. I know that you have tried quite hard to improve the situations, but unfortunately there has been no positive outcome. However, I would suggest that you should try out once more. Try to communicate and express your feelings to your husband. You must let him know that you are not at all okay with his attitude. And, remember that you must remain polite and calm, even in the most difficult situations. Never say: “You are really mean and selfish!” These kinds of expression will not help you. Rather, it will worsen your relationship. Tell him that you want to talk to him for few minutes, and that he should listen to you carefully without interrupting in between. You may say: “Dear, I know you love me, and so do I. But, I don’t know why at times I feel that you are not being that much caring and loving like you have always been. I want my sweet and understanding husband back in my life”. Your husband may react either positively or negatively after you say this. He might say that what you feel is not right, and therefore, you must stop thinking in this way. But, it is your sole responsibility to convey your feelings. Take this chance as the last chance and make the most of it.

Engage yourself in the activities loved by your husband

Your husband may not be bothered about giving you time, and may be always engrossed in some other activities. So, then in order to stay with him, try sharing his workloads or simply try to participate in the works that he loves doing. You might not have any knowledge about all these, but try to know and learn. He might love making projects or models. However, you may not have any idea about that. But, don’t worry. Be there as his helping hand, maybe by giving him the scale, the cutter, the colors, the wooden frames or whatever he needs. If you want, then you may tell your husband the reasons behind why you have learned these and why are you helping him. This will help him know that how much you love him and how much concerned you are about spending time together.

Try to compromise

It has been frequently noted that when a relationship starts getting bitter because of self centered attitudes, egotism and selfishness, then spouses instead of sorting out the issues, tend to involve themselves in arguments. If you have also done that, then please do question yourself that how can you expect a solution out of it! If your husband is unwilling to cooperate then that doesn’t mean that you should do the same thing. At times at least try to compromise a bit. But, of course up to a limit. Do not end up quarreling because of little things. If your husband is not trying to understand that you are not ready to cook the recipe of his choice today, then all of a sudden don’t start saying “No, I can’t!” These spontaneous negative replies might upset him. So, try to give in a little effort to do what he says. If he wants to travel by foot, then don’t keep nagging to take you by car.

But, yes if he keeps ignoring whatever you say all the time, then you must let him know that it hurts you. After all, he must also learn to compromise.

Talk to his closed ones

Your husband might not be at all interested to know your problems or to compromise with you. So, then instead of complaining, discuss your problems with his parents or guardian or with someone who is close to your husband. He may understand your point when told by these people. However, be careful. He must not get angry when he sees that you have discussed the marital issues with a third person. You may make your husband and the arbitrator sit with you. Then, try to bring up the issues tactfully. Suppose the third person is the sister of your husband. You may ask his sister beforehand to say something like “Hey bro! Why don’t you take your sweet wife out for a movie?” And, then you may reply that: “I don’t think your brother will be able to give me any time.” In this way you can start the conversation, and then gradually tell him all that you feel about him and his attitude, with his sister helping you out in this.

Marital counseling

When nothing works, then you may opt for a good marriage counselor. If your husband accepts to meet the counselor, then it will resolve the issues easily. So try to convince him along with you. But, if he is not willing to go, then go unaccompanied. Get to know about the better solutions, and the better ways of dealing with your problems. Together with sorting out your difficulties, the counselor may also give suggestions that whether there is any need for you to change yourself or not. This may take some time, but will eventually prove to be genuinely effective. So, do not lose patience.

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Author, Chartered Consultant, Personal Branding Expert & Global Trainer at DrPrem.com
Author of several life improving guide books – Dr Prem is an award winning strategic global leader, successful chartered consultant, personal branding expert and global trainer.  Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries to work with above 150 international organisations and to speak in global conferences. Dr Prem has published several guide books and numerous niche websites which have millions of reader across the globe.
Dr Prem Jagyasi
Dr Prem Jagyasi
Dr Prem Jagyasi

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