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How to deal with a passive aggressive person

Passive aggressive people are always pessimistic about everything in life even when everything is going really well. They always believe that their personal failure is because of other people and hence keep on cribbing over things. They always avoid work and can never keep their promises. Handling them is very important as well as difficult.

Indulge in tactful altercation

The first thing a passive aggressive person urges to do is throw the blame onto you in whichever way possible. This is just an excuse to emotionally humiliate and hurt you. If you get into a direct confrontation, there is a possibility that the argument may turn against you. Therefore, you have to be very diplomatic and sensitive about the issue and not play the blame game. It is better to use “I” rather than “you” and remain as unruffled as possible to ease the atmosphere. There is a remote possibility that they will acknowledge their flaws, but there is a scope of hope to foresee reduction in their passive aggressive behavior if they realize that they will be resisted severely. For example if the person keeps telling you that, you need to exercise because you are too fat. Retort back truthfully and calmly that you feel hurt when you are called fat. Whatever excuses he might shell out, be unwavering about the fact that his subtle accusations tend to upset you a lot.

Do not allow them to escape with their dreadful behaviour

The person with this type of behavioral predicament will go on slandering you at every single opportunity. You might take it for sometime because in most of these cases, the person is a near and dear one. However, do not let the person get away with such a deplorable behavior always. This will only encourage him or her to continue with these kinds of activities. Instead, you should set up such an environment where the person feels totally at ease and does not hesitate to communicate about emotions, such as bitterness, annoyance, apprehension etc. You have to realize this that passive aggressiveness stems out of nothing but some form of insecurity or uncertainty the person is facing. You have to get it out of his or her system in a rather subtle manner.

Mind your back at all times

You have to be very careful or else you will be in a danger of being victimized repeatedly. Never ever, give them any kind of information that can be used against you. This kind of a personality will forever be on the lookout for any kind of flaws that you have. So always, be alert to every sign when the responsible person is around. Make sure that you do not become susceptible to their insensitive behavior. If it tends to become a permanent fixture in your life and causes you more harm than good, it is time to end your relationship with him or her totally. You do not have to feel blameworthy at all because you are not accountable for some other person’s passive aggressive behaviour. .

Do not trust the person easily

Passive aggressive people can never be relied upon totally, because they can have quite an unpredictable behavior. They might be loving and tender one moment and the next minute they can be quite ruthless and unsympathetic. Therefore, you cannot always expect the very best out of them and always have an alternate plan ready. For instance, if your partner promises to pick you up from a party and does not do so, giving feeble excuses, you have to be ready with a PLAN B. Plan with someone else to pick you up. You should never show the person that his behavior has shaken you, instead carry on with your daily routine. However, keep a tab always and if the behavior worsens, it is time for you think about your relationship seriously.

Face up to their deceit and say no to their games

You have to be upfront about any kind of passive aggressive behavior, otherwise it will get intensified. This confrontation has to be instant otherwise the gravity of the situation will waver and it will not have the same effect as intended. Do not be confused by this kind of a conduct, as it will do you no good. If the person truly treasures your relationship, he will put an end to this kind of crazy behavior. Nevertheless, whatever you do, try not to be a participant in their crazy behavioral game in any form. Even if there is total denial from the other side, it is very vital for you to put across your anxiety and annoyance. So stick with the truth and tell him/her how awful their actions make you feel.

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Dr Prem Jagyasi

Author, Chartered Consultant, Personal Branding Expert & Global Trainer at DrPrem.com
Author of several life improving guide books – Dr Prem is an award winning strategic global leader, successful chartered consultant, personal branding expert and global trainer.  Dr Prem has traveled to more than 40 countries to work with above 150 international organisations and to speak in global conferences. Dr Prem has published several guide books and numerous niche websites which have millions of reader across the globe.
Dr Prem Jagyasi
Dr Prem Jagyasi
Dr Prem Jagyasi

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