It is very difficult to deal with backstabbers, especially if you do not have a few strategies ready to deal with them promptly. Backstabbers can create a lot of issues in your work and personal relationships and hence it is of utmost importance to know how to shut their mouths. Here are a few ways to deal with backstabbers.
Try to be nice
There are two types of backstabbers that you face; backstabbers who spread rumors about you and backstabbers who come to you to spread rumors about others. Both the types can be initially dealt with words of wisdom. You can be nice to them and try to change their attitude towards you. When you are the target, try to win over the person so that he/she feels bad that rumors were spread about you. When the backstabber starts talking about othersâ bad behavior, make sure that you instil some positive habits in him. Help him understand the importance of looking at the positive side of things and help him change his attitude towards others. Though it may or may not work, but the backstabber will at least become reluctant to spread false rumors about you when you are nice and pleasant to him. He may not approach you again with false stories about others as well, as he has understood that you do not encourage such talks.
Sometimes, you need to be a little stern with backstabbers as listening without reacting will only encourage them. He also needs to be given a piece of your mind if he is spreading false rumors about you. Confront him and tell him that you intent to cross check with the victim to see if your allegations are true. This will immediately make them cautious and he will stop spreading false rumors. Talk to them directly when the accusations are against you and ask for explanation as to why such stories are being spread about you. Make sure that you do not confront them in front of others at first. Give them time and see if they mend their ways. If he/she continues his/her ways, itâs time for an open outburst. Most probably, it would come as a shock for him/her as backstabbers always target people who are mild and cannot defend themselves. Your outburst would leave him/her tongue tied and this is all that is enough for him/her to stop backstabbing.
Get support from others
For tough backstabbers who are out to taint your name, you need support in the form of friends, relatives and co-workers, who know who you are and do not believe in his claims. Make sure that you let everyone know what the real situation is and explain your innocence to them. If you are a well liked and transparent person, you do not need to explain yourself in such cases. When you are sure that you have good support, you are in a position to choose whether you want to ignore the backstabber or confront him. Either way, you already have great support and need not to worry about what others think about you. Supporters can also help you by talking in your favor and dissuading others from believing the false accusations.
Weigh your words
When you are talking to backstabbers, always be careful about what you say. These are people who can distort facts and twist your words and spread to others, creating a whole lot of problems for you. If a backstabber approaches you and spreads stories about someone else, itâs better that you do not bad mouth the victim or say anything about him. Listen to what he has to say and enquire discreetly to others if it is true. If you want to help the victim when a false accusation is being spread about him, you can do so by reporting to the victim himself and letting others know that he is not at fault. At no point should you encourage the backstabber or try to spread the rumor yourself.
Backstabbers are insecure people who may not be successful in life. All they want to do is to get some enjoyment out of making others look incompetent and bad. You must never encourage them. Try to change their attitude and behavior as much as you can. But if they do not change, itâs none of your business to keep trying. Distance yourself from such people and ensure that you do not give them a chance to backstab. Discourage them from talking to you and show your displeasure openly if you do not want to be disturbed by such false rumors.